How'd I Let You Slip Away
by Halawen
Summary: Clare finds herself pregnant just a few weeks before her 17th birthday. She's scared and now she has to tell her boyfriend of six months; Drew. How will Drew take the news? What will they do about the baby? And who will help Clare when others turn their backs on her? A/U story please read the authors notes. Also starring Owen, Bianca, Dallas and Lucas. This is a Clew story.
1. How Can You Stand By Watching Me Cry & D

**Welcome to my new story!**

**First this is dedicated to xaviorismy1andonly3512 for requesting it and giving me a few plots. Having Clare get pregnant was the most requested thing for Friends with Benefits, aside from maybe having Clare or Drew cheat. xaviorismy1andonly3512 asked for a Clew pregnancy story when I said Clare would not get pregnant in Friends with Benefits. xaviorismy1andonly3512 also gave me a few plots including how Drew should react.**

**Legal: I own nothing but the idea. **

**Important things to know for this reality before reading:**

***Drew never got back together with Bianca but they are friends and she became friends with Clare and Adam as well **

***Clare dated Eli but they are friends again **

***They did not go to Jake's cabin at the end of the summer**

***Alli did kiss Jake and they dated for a while but when her parents caught her smoking pot they sent her to boarding school. When Alli was sent away Jenna moved to Alberta to live with her brother**

***Fic starts about a week after the Ice Hounds have come and winter break ended**

***Also remember that this is Canada so the temperatures are in Celsius**

**Ch. 1** **How Can You Stand By Watching Me Cry & Do Nothing at All **

**(CLARE)**

I leaned against the washroom sink just staring at the piece of plastic in my hand. One tiny little pink symbol and my whole life had changed. Everything from this very second would be different because I was pregnant! Drew and I had always used condoms but of course nothing was 100% and the tiny pink plus sign on the pregnancy test in my hand was confirming that I was pregnant! I felt ill and woozy, my heart was pounding and I felt like I could hardly breathe. My head was swimming with everything that the next few months would entail, everything I had to do.

I suppose the first thing I need to do is tell Drew, we've been dating for six months. We'd gotten close after Adam was shot, Jake had broken up with me, Katie had broken up with Drew after thinking he was cheating with Bianca. He wasn't and he and Bianca were nothing but friends, she and I were also friends now. After Jake walked out on me and Adam was shot I had spent a lot of time at the Torres house this last summer. I also wanted to be out of my house and away from the wedding talk.

Drew and I had become friends and grown close while helping Adam and spending time with him. He got permission from Adam before asking me out and our first date had been watching fireworks on Canada Day. Things had moved fairly fast compared to my previous relationships but we didn't have sex until October, after Eli's Halloween party to be exact. I wore my ring around my mom still but all our friends knew we were having sex. I was in love with Drew and I knew he was in love with me but I didn't know how he'd take this. Only one way to find out though, I toss the pregnancy into the trash and go into my room grabbing my cell from the desk and calling Drew.

"Hey Gorgeous," he answers.

"Hi I need to get out can you come get me?" I request.

"Sure, Adam's out with Dallas," Drew tells me.

"That's okay I really just want to talk to you, can we go walking through the park?" I request.

"Of course, be there in five," Drew says and hangs up.

I put my phone down and grab my jacket since the bitter January weather includes a frosty wind today. Jake and Glen went to a home and garden show to see fancy new stuff for Glen's contracting business. Mom was at a church fundraiser so there was no one home for me to tell that I'm leaving. When I see Drew's car I go out, lock the door behind me and run down to his car, he gets out and opens my door for me, like he always does.

"Hi," he grins giving me a sweet kiss hello, "it's really cold are you sure you want to go to the park?" He asks.

"Yeah the park will be nice," I nod wanting to be somewhere public but not too public.

I get in the car and he closes the door, he gets in drives down the street to the park and parks the car. He puts an arm around me and we walk through the park a bit before I sit on a bench and Drew sits with me.

"I've been feeling sick lately," I tell him and he talks before I can go on.

"You have? You look fine to me, are you okay?" He questions.

"I'm not sick Drew I'm pregnant," I blurt out because if I don't say it fast it'll never come out.

He stiffens up and goes completely silent, not even breathing. His arm tightens around me and then drops off into his lap. He looks down at his hands folded in on each other and I think he's just going to react with regret. Then he suddenly stiffens up, his hands curl into fists and he moves away from me.

"How can you be pregnant?! We're safe, we've never had unprotected sex! It can't be mine!" He accuses in a bitterly outraged tone.

"Drew I didn't cheat on you, I would never cheat on you. You are the only guy I've ever had sex with. No form of birth control is a hundred percent effective, this baby is yours Drew," I tell him with a pleading edge to my voice, salt water building in my eyes.

I reach over to take his hand but he yanks it away from me and jumps up like my touch is poison to him. I gasp at his reaction, flinching back a little myself at the stab of hurt I feel. The tears break free and roll down my cheeks as I curl into myself a bit.

"I'll deny it if you tell anyone and even if it is my baby it's not my problem. I'm not going to be a teenage dad. You take care of it, do what you want but I don't want anything to do with either of you ever again!" Drew says in a quiet voice but with a growling tone and his words are oozing with venom.

His tone, his words, the way he's looking at me, like I'm disgusting and dirty, it all hurts and I emit a painful whimper, as if he'd physically struck me. I'm crying harder, sobbing to the point that my body is shaking but sobbing silently. Never in our relationship, in all the time I've known him has Drew stood by and watched me cry. Not only does he not do anything he turns and takes off for the car again, walking fast at first and then running like he can't get away from me fast enough. I hear his car door slam and he peels out of the parking lot and now I'm alone.

I'm sixteen, I'm alone, I'm pregnant and I'm scared to death!

For a while I just sit on the bench crying. No one pays any attention to me, which is fine because I wish I were invisible right now. Eventually I get up and start walking in the general direction of home because it's getting really cold. I have no idea what I'm going to do, it's not as though I expected Drew to jump for joy that I was pregnant but I didn't expect him to do that. To get so angry that he breaks up with me and tells me to deal with it, that he never wants to see me again. I keep telling myself that he was shocked beyond rational thought. That he made a snap reaction and he'll come around…at least I hope.

I won't abort, I simply couldn't but raising a baby on my own while still in high school will be a monumental task. I'm pretty positive I can't count on my mom for support and I fully intend to hide the pregnancy from her for as long as possible, like until I go into labor. Jake and Glen…well I don't know really, Glen will probably go along with my mom and Jake is usually on my side but this is a doozy. I'm sure that Adam and his parents would support me but I don't want to tell them, they'll get angry at Drew, get him in trouble and I still love him, I can't do that to him. Plus Audra and Omar might force Drew to marry me or something and I don't want that either, he'll only resent me and the baby if that happens and that would kill me. No if Drew is going to come around he has to do it on his own. And if he doesn't…then I'll figure it out on my own…somehow.

My father moved to France four months ago and I've gotten all of three e-mails from him in that time. He seems to be slowly vanishing from my life so I'm not going to count on him. Darcy is still in Africa, she didn't even make it home for Mom's wedding and we only hear from her every few months. She travels Africa now working with various missions. I really can't tell any of my friends, I have barely spoken to Alli since she got sent to boarding school at the beginning of the year. Jenna e-mails once a week and she has been through this but I don't know that I could tell her this, we aren't that close. Dave, Connor and K.C. are my friends but I'm not about to confide this to them nor do I think they would be very helpful. Owen and Bianca are my friends too, but I can't tell them either, I don't want them to get Drew in trouble and I don't think they can help. I've only known Dallas for about ten days, I met him when he moved in but I can't call him a friend yet.

So I'll hide the fact that I'm pregnant for as long as I can. It can't be that hard, I just need to buy some bigger shirts, maybe some dresses and one of those thick down vests. I can't possibly get through this totally alone though, I need advice and support and I still don't know what to do about the baby. Then it hits me Mia! She was pregnant and she did it without Lucas helping. She was even younger than me, she can help. I start walking faster, rushing home to e-mail her and beg for advice. I say a quick hi to Mom when I get home and run up to my room opening my laptop.

**Dear Mia,**

**I don't know if you remember me but I babysat for Izzy a couple of times. I'm Darcy's younger sister and Spinner thought of me as a younger sister. Anyway I'm writing because I need help or advice and I don't really have anyone else to go to. **

**I just found out I'm pregnant and when I told my boyfriend he broke up with me. He told me it was my problem and I needed to deal with it. I can't tell my mom or anyone else here and I don't know what to do. I can't abort but I don't know that I'm ready for a baby especially raising one on my own.**

**I'm scared and confused and a million other things and I know you've been through this so I was hoping you could help.**

I put my phone number in at the end and click send; my tears have pretty much dried at this point. Still I'm overwhelmed by emotion and it's not helping the nauseous feeling I've had all day. I'm trying to collect myself to be functional by dinner but Mom's yelling grinds at my nerves.

"CLARE DIANA EDWARDS GET IN HERE!" She yells and it sounds like it's coming from my washroom.

I get up and walk across the hall wondering what she's yelling about. "Mom wha…" I start to ask when I see my pregnancy test in her hand. I had been so shocked I was pregnant, and so worried about telling Drew I wasn't thinking about having the pregnancy test found.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! ARE YOU PREGNANT?! WHEN DID YOU AND THAT BOY HAVE SEX?! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO BE PREGNANT CLARE! AND HOW CAN YOU STILL BE WEARING THIS?!" Mom screams hysterically as she grabs my hand, yanks the purity ring from my finger and tosses it in the sink. "HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID CLARE?! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHAT WILL THEY SAY AT CHURCH? WHAT WILL YOUR FATHER SAY?"

"Mom I'm sorry b…" I'm barely able to speak before she goes ballistic again.

"YOU'RE SORRY! YOU'RE A PATHETIC STUPID SLUT JUST LIKE YOUR SISTER! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! YOU ARE NOT MY DAUGHTER ANYMORE!"

"Mom…" I try, I'm crying again, bawling like a baby, trembling and feeling like I've had my heart ripped out twice in one afternoon.

"I SAID OUT!" Mom screams smacking me across the face with the pregnancy test. "YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT AND DON'T YOU EVER COME BACK TO THIS HOUSE! YOU ARE A BITTER DISSAPOINTING EMBARRASMENT! YOU ARE NOT MY DAUGHTER! MY DAUGHTER WOULD NOT DO SOMETHING SO STUPID!"

I cover my cheek with my hand and run out of the house. I don't grab a single thing, not a jacket, not my purse or my phone I just run. Down the street, toward the school, I reach the bus stop just beyond the school property line and I sink down on the bench, leaning against the plastic barrier, curling my knees up and sobbing into my arms. Overwhelmed by so many emotions and feeling betrayed by everyone and entirely alone. My boyfriend broke up with me, my mother disowned me and I'm alone. I'm too upset to think, all I can do is sob, I don't know how long I sit there but I don't move until there's a hand on my shoulder.

"Clare?" His voice is gentle, calm but slightly inquisitive and sounds vaguely familiar.

I look up wiping away the tears at my eyes so I can see. "Lucas?" I look up into his dark brown eyes and he gives me a grin.

"Mia called when she couldn't get a hold of you. So pregnant huh?" He asks and I nod. "What are you doing out here with no jacket or anything?" Lucas questions.

"I got in a fight with my mom and ran out," I tell him. He holds my chin gently between his finger and thumb, tipping my chin up and looking at my face closely. Letting go of my chin he strokes his thumb over the spot on my cheek that's stinging. "Mom hit me with the pregnancy test," I tell him.

"Come on I'll take you to my place," Lucas says pulling my arm gently to help me up.

"Don't you mean your mom's place?" I ask standing up and taking a couple deep breaths.

"Hey it's cheaper that way and I'm going to the Ontario Provincial Police academy," Lucas informs me.

I smile at him and he helps me to his car because I'm so upset I can hardly walk. We drive to his house and by this time I'm at least calm enough to walk.

"Hey Mom," Lucas calls into the house when we go in and she comes out of the kitchen, "you remember Clare don't you?"

"Yes of course you would babysit for Izzy and Spinner was fond of you. It's nice to see you dear but you look very upset," Evelyn remarks giving me a gentle hug.

"She found out she was pregnant, her boyfriend broke up with her and her mom kicked her out," Lucas says for me.

"You've had quite a day then, no wonder you're upset dear. You're welcome to stay here as long as you need to, you can have Jane's room," Evelyn tells me with a kind smile.

"Thank you, that's very kind I promise not to be in the way," I say hugging her gratefully.

"Nonsense dear you're not in the way, you're more than welcome here. I was just finishing dinner are you hungry?" Evelyn asks.

"Actually it's been a very long hard day, I'm very tired and my head hurts I'd like to just lie down if you don't mind," I reply.

"Of course Clare, Lucas get her set up in Jane's room and you get some sleep you're safe here," Evelyn smiles hugging me again.

Lucas takes me upstairs and opens the door of Jane's room. "She left some clothes, help yourself to anything and let us know if you need anything. I'll call Mia and let her know you're okay and safe," Lucas tells me.

"Okay, I don't want anyone to know I'm pregnant just yet, I still don't know what I'm going to do," I tell him.

"No problem I won't say anything not even to Jane, I'll make sure Mom won't either," Lucas assures me.

"And Lucas thanks, for taking me in and everything," I say mustering as much of a smile as I can.

"I always liked you, anyway I really screwed up with Mia and Izzy I can kind of make amends now. Get some sleep, you've had a long day," Lucas says tousling my hair and then he leaves the room.

I don't even look through Jane's closet for clothes I just take off my shoes and lie down on the bed, crying myself to sleep.

**(DREW)**

I drive home as fast as I can without getting pulled over for speeding. One thought goes through my mind over and over, _"Clare can't be pregnant, I can't be a dad." _I'm angry, despite how I yelled at her I'm not angry at Clare, but that she got pregnant even though we were careful. I'm angry at the situation, the world, the fact that it's so fucking easy for girls to get pregnant. That sex feels so good and is so fun and that's how girls get pregnant. I'm even angry at myself; I'm just entirely outraged at everything. I get home and slam the front door, stomping up to my room and slamming the door before falling on to my bed.

"Drew?" Adam calls knocking on my bedroom door. I don't answer but Adam comes in anyway. "What's wrong with you?"

"I broke up with Clare," I grumble.

"Why? I thought you two were really happy?" My brother asks.

"I just did okay Adam, just drop it! I'm not going to make you choose sides you can still be friends with her," I tell him.

"Uh thanks, but you've never dictated my friends before and you don't get to start now, of course I'm still friends with Clare. So why'd you break up with her?" Adam asks again, my brothers damned persistent.

"Just drop it Adam, we broke up okay? Now please get out of my room!" I bark at my brother.

He flinches a little and gets up; he gives me a worried look and leaves my room closing the door. I pick up my football and start tossing it in the air, thinking about the championship game last semester when I scored the game winning touchdown and won the game. Mom and Dad had been so proud of me; Adam had given me that look he gets when he's truly proud of me and looking up to me as a role model and big brother. Clare had cheered louder than anyone and boy had we celebrated after the game.

If Mom and Dad ever find out that Clare's pregnant they won't be proud, mostly angry and disappointed, they might even send me to military academy, it's been threatened before. Adam will probably never look up to me again. Of course if he finds out why I dumped Clare he'll kill me and Clare may never look at me again at all. I get angrier than I was and growl throwing the football at my wall, then turn on my music trying to drown out everything.

Part of me wants to call Clare and apologize, tell her it'll be okay and we'll figure it out. The angry part of me is taking this part and slaughtering it. I rationalize it all, telling myself it's better if she hates me, Clare is smart she'll figure out, she'll take care of it or something. I rationalize it all to myself, Clare is better off without me, I would be a terrible father, I can hardly take care of myself I can't take care of a kid and Clare too. I even convince myself that she's lying, that she isn't pregnant or if she is it isn't mine. This doesn't actually make me feel better just angrier.

"Drew dinner's ready," Mom says coming into my room and turning down my music.

"I'm not hungry," I grumble.

"Adam told me you broke up with Clare; you want to talk about it?" Mom asks.

"I just want everyone to leave me alone," I reply.

"I'll keep a plate for you in the fridge," Mom says giving me a worried look and leaving my room.

No one bothers me for the rest of the night but I don't really sleep either. I'm too pissed off at absolutely everything. I spend most of the night flipping through my phone and looking at pictures of me and Clare before I toss the phone at the wall. This wakes up my brother and I hear him lingering outside my door but he doesn't come in. I eat breakfast with everyone and they all assume I'm pissed off because I broke up with Clare, which I am they just don't know why, but no one bugs me. Adam drives the three of us to school and I sit in the back. I'm even more pissed when I get to school because I know I'm going to have to see Clare.

"Dude what's with you?" Owen asks; he's on the steps with Bianca.

"He broke up with Clare," Adam tells them walking past us and into the school.

"Dude why? You were all in love with her I thought," Owen comments.

"Yeah Drew you were dating the hottest, smartest, prettiest girl at this school, besides me of course," Bianca remarks.

"Clare is nicer and more humble than you," Owen chides.

"Yeah duh, so why'd you two break up?" Bianca questions.

"We just did okay will everyone drop it?" I bark at my friends.

"It looks like she moved on pretty quick," Dallas comments and I look at him.

Dallas nods to Clare pulling up in a truck with a boy, but the truck isn't Jake's or Glen's and the boy isn't Jake. I've never seen this boy before but I already hate him. He's older than Clare by a few years, he's got a real tough look to him too, like Fitz and I know what Fitz did to her. The guy, who has dark hair and narrow eyes, nods in our direction. Clare looks over and looks away fast, she says something to the guy, he brushes some hair behind her ear and says something to her, she smiles and my fist clenches. She puts her arm around him in a hug and kisses him! Then she gets out of the car and runs past me into the school. I turn and follow her in to find out who this guy is, Bianca, Owen and Dallas follow me in.

"Was that?" Bianca asks.

"Yep," Owen replies.

"And Clare was with him because?" Bianca questions.

"No idea," Owen replies.

I'm so angry and focused on finding Clare it doesn't even occur to me that they know who the guy is.

**(CLARE)**

"You sure you want to walk to our house after school?" Lucas asks as he drives me to school Monday morning.

"If it's too cold, or snowing or something I'll get a ride for someone but otherwise I'll be fine," I insists.

"Okay well you have a key, my number and my mom's. Mia said to call her when you're home, she's not working today," Lucas tells me pulling up to the front of the school. "There's some people watching us from the steps, and…is that Owen and Bianca?" Lucas questions and I glance over at the steps.

"Yeah that's them, the boy glaring at you would be Drew," I tell Lucas and he pushes a curl behind my ear.

"The ex and baby daddy huh? You want me to go kick his ass?" He offers and I smile.

"No if he's going to come around he has to do it without being threatened, anyway I still love him," I tell Lucas turning in the seat to hug him and kissing his cheek, "thanks though. See you after school."

I get out of the car and wave at Lucas as he drives off, then run past Drew, Owen, Bianca and Dallas to get into the school. I head for my locker; Dave is just closing his and smiles at me. I start opening mine when my arm is grabbed and I'm whirled around to face Drew who looks beyond livid, his eyes narrowed and his face bright red, like he's been stewing in his anger since yesterday. He's not alone either Owen, Dallas and Bianca followed him in.

"WHO THE HELL WAS THAT GUY?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM?!" Drew growls at me attracting some attention from kids in the hall.

"What do you care? You broke up with me remember Drew?" I snap at him pulling my arm out of his grasp.

His jaw tightens, his face somehow gets even redder, I can swear I can actually see his blood boiling!

"His name is Lucas Valerie, he's about 22 now, he dropped out and he was a truly bad ravine kid," Owen enlightens Drew.

"Yeah like way worse than Fitz, all though last I heard he was cleaning up and he was a night time security guard now," Bianca adds.

"He's going to the police academy too," I speak up.

"YOU SHOULDN'T BE WITH HIM CLARE HE SOUNDS DANGEROUS! YOU CAN'T BE WITH HIM," Drew yells and now we've gathered a crowd.

"My safety and who I spend time with is no longer your concern Drew," I snap at him.

He dumped me, left me pregnant with his child and now he's getting mad at me? Lucas and I aren't even dating! Drew roars, actually roars like an angry tiger, he turns and explodes a powerful punch on the locker next to mine. It doesn't bend the locker or anything but it makes a loud bang and Drew's hand gets red. Drew's angry outburst frightens me and I jump back a little, ending up between Dallas and Owen, the latter of which gently puts an arm around me. Drew storms off, the crowd parting for him and looking at us.

"I'm going to go make sure he didn't break his hand," Bianca tells us running after Drew.

"You alright Clare?" Dallas asks.

"Yeah I'm okay," I nod a little shaky but go to my locker and get out my books.

Dallas lingers a minute until I've closed my locker and then he takes off when I start walking to class.

"Okay why'd you two break up? Why is Drew so pissed? What were you doing with Lucas and how do you even know him?" Owen asks as he follows me to class.

"Drew and I had a fight, I used to babysit for Izzy plus Jane's ex-boyfriend Spinner is one of my close friends, almost like an older brother and Lucas drove me to school this morning," I reply leaving out some details.

"What was the fight about?" Owen asks as we reach my classroom.

"It doesn't matter and I need to go to class now," I tell him going through the door.

I can feel his eyes on me a minute but he walks away when I sit at my desk next to Adam's.

"So what happened?" Adam questions when Owen is gone and I know he's asking why Drew and I broke up.

"We got in a fight Adam," I reply.

"You've had fights before and never broken up," Adam points out.

"We just want different things, we grew apart," I respond and it's not totally a lie.

"He doesn't seem very happy about it and neither do you, maybe if you two just talk…" Adam urges.

"Adam please we broke up just leave it," I insist.

Adam gives me a look but he doesn't say anything else and I get out my notebook. I write about the fear of being pregnant but I have no intent on turning the assignment in. I'm not exactly itching to announce to people that I'm pregnant. When class lets out Adam gets up with me, coincidentally my next class is parenting, it was a humanities elective and I needed one. Adam has the class with me and so does Owen. Connor's in the class too and Becky and Luke Baker who came with the Ice Hounds since Luke is on the hockey team. Owen and Luke are talking when Adam and I walk into class and then they stop and look at me. I ignore them and sit at my table with Adam, Connor and Becky. Miss Sauve is already writing stuff on the blackboard and Connor is already taking notes.

"Why'd you break up with Drew? I know we've only been here a short time but you two seemed so happy together," Becky comments.

"We had a fight," I reply huffing a little but the bell rings and we all look at the blackboard.

"We're going to watch a short video, then break into teams of two and interview each other using the questions I have outlined on the board," says Miss Sauve.

She gives us a minute to scribble down the questions and then turns off the lights to start the video. The video is a bunch of parents being interviewed, there is even a single teenager mother, great I'm a statistic. All of our questions are things they asked in the video, all but the first one are supposed to be all what-if scenarios but in my case it's not. After the video she chooses partners for us and I get paired with Owen.

"Can we work in the hall Miss Sauve, it's hot in here?" I request when Owen moves his chair close to mine.

"Are you feeling alright Clare? You look a little pale," Miss Sauve comments.

"Yeah just hot," I tell her.

"Sure just be back by the end of class," she tells us.

I nod and walk out to the hallway with Owen, we're about to sit down on the bench near the memorial garden when I feel the little bit of breakfast I ate coming up again. Without a word to Owen I hold a hand to my mouth and take off running for the girl's washroom dropping my notebook to the ground. Owen calls after me but I ignore him and run in vomiting in a toilet. I manage to sink down to the floor before vomiting again and then twice more. I feel a little dizzy and I'm slightly beaded by sweat but I stand and rinse my mouth in the sink before washing my hands.

"You okay?" Owen asks when I leave the washroom and find him standing at the doorway.

"Yeah," I nod.

"You don't look so hot," he tells me.

"Must have had some bad eggs at breakfast, can we get to work now?" I question.

"Okay, let's go into the memorial garden it's cooler in there, even though it's January and about negative seven right now so I think you're crazy for being hot," Owen comments zipping up his Ice Hounds jacket.

We go into the memorial garden and I lean against the glass. Owen hands me my notebook and we begin interviewing each other. Our first question is to rate our parents on a scale of 1 -10 for various categories like discipline, understanding, nurturing and so on. Owen gives his parents nothing lower than a seven; I give my mom nothing higher than a two.

"You get in a fight with your parents or your mom?" Owen questions when we're done rating our parents.

"She kicked me out, told me I was dead to her and disowned me so yeah you could say that," I answer in a bitter tone, I'm still feeling nauseous and it's not helping my mood.

"Did your fight with Drew have something to do with your fight with your mom?" Owen questions.

"You could say that," I grumble and he looks at me.

"You going to tell me what happened or do I need to go beat it out of Drew?" Owen asks.

"Don't beat Drew up but I'm not telling you either," I reply.

"Drew broke up with you and your mom freaks out disowning you and kicking you out in the same day. Something big happened, Drew is exploding with anger and you're tossing your cookies in the wa…hang on," Owen says furrowing his brow a second as he puts the pieces together, "Clare are you pregnant?!"

"Yes, please don't tell anyone okay?" I plead as I begin to cry again.

"And Drew broke up with you?! Owen growls getting up and walking for the door but I grab his hand.

"What are you doing?" I question wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I'm going to drag Drew out of his business leadership class and beat some sense into him," Owen replies.

"Owen don't if I wanted that I would have had Lucas do it this morning or I'd tell Audra. I don't want anyone to know and I don't want Drew to get in trouble. I still love him and besides if he's forced to be with me he'll just grow to resent me. I want Drew to come around and be here for me, I want to be with him again but I'm not going to force him and right now he hates me," I sigh sitting on the bench again.

"He's angry but he doesn't hate you," Owen argues.

"You saw him this morning he hates me," I counter.

"That wasn't hate Clare that was jealousy, he was jealous of Lucas which means he's still in love with you and I've got a plan. A way to help Drew come around and realize he doesn't want to lose you," Owen tells me with a suspiciously evil look on his face.

I cock an eyebrow at him and sit back, not entirely sure that I want to hear this plan.

**Update next Tuesday from right here and someone else finds out Clare is pregnant.**

******If you're angry about how Drew reacted remember there is a plan to everything and let me just say writing Drew so mean sucked!**


	2. Unintentional Emotional Crimes

**Thanks to everyone who read last week and especially to those who reviewed, favorited and/or followed.**

**Ch. 2 Unintentional Emotional Crimes**

**(CLARE)**

"You should be my girlfriend," Owen says.

My eyebrows raise as my heart starts to race, I choke on a response as this is probably the last thing I expected Owen to say.

"I want Drew back, not a rebound," I respond.

"I know, I don't mean real girlfriend, it will all be for show just for Drew. He got super jealous when he saw you with Lucas and he doesn't even know Lucas. Imagine how insane it will drive him to see you and me dating. He'll be insanely jealous for a little while and then he'll realize he was an idiot and beg you to take him back," Owen smirks.

"How long is a while? And we can't just date for Drew; I mean we're going to have to make it look real for the whole school and our families. And what if it doesn't work? What if Drew hates me and doesn't get jealous?" I inquire.

"He'll get jealous, he was jealous of Lucas he'll get jealous. Of course we'll have to make it look like we're dating to everyone and not just Drew. That should be easy enough, I pick you up from class, walk through the halls with my arm around you, maybe holding hands. A few kisses strategically in front of Drew, I'll even pick you up for a couple of "dates" but we'll really go play pool or something as friends. A totally fake relationship," Owen assures me.

I bite my lip and ponder this a minute, it sounds like a really bad idea actually, but it might just work. I'm sure that I can trust Owen and after what Drew did to me yesterday and what I went through, watching Drew squirm thinking I'm dating Owen sounds appealing. I just hope Drew comes around sooner rather than later because I don't know how long I want to date Owen, fake or not. I hope Drew comes around at all actually.

"Okay so I guess we're in a fake relationship. So what now?" I ask.

"Now we finish our assignment," Owen replies and I laugh.

We finish up the interviews but Owen graciously skips over the question about being a single parent. We return to class before the bell and turn our papers in.

"You okay?" Adam questions when I sit back at our table.

"Yeah it was just too hot in the classroom," I tell Adam. _"And I'm afraid to tell you that you're going to be an uncle," _I add silently in my head.

"You getting sick?" Adam asks.

"No I don't think so it was just hot," I reply.

The bell rings, Miss Sauve dismisses us and we start gathering our stuff. I see Luke walk out of the room but Owen lingers behind.

"You eating lunch with me and Eli?" Adam asks as we walk out the door.

I open my mouth to answer but Owen comes over, putting an arm around my shoulders and answering for me.

"Nope my girlfriend is eating lunch with me," Owen informs them.

Connor, Becky and Adam freeze while Owen and I turn and walk toward the caf.

"Girlfriend?!" Adam calls after us and I can't help but laugh a little.

There's a fair amount of people in the caf and we garner quite the amount of attention walking in together with Owen's arm around me. Owen grabs us some food and even pays to keep up appearances. I hear the whispering begin but we don't eat in the caf, Owen takes our food and we go sit on the bleachers at the football field. Putting on our jackets as it's freezing out here.

"Well we gave Adam quite a shock, and a good portion of the school now if only Drew would care," I lament while eating my yogurt.

"Trust me when Drew hears he'll care," Owen assures me.

We eat in silence for a few minutes, at least until Bianca comes storming over.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!" She yells stomping up the bleachers to where Owen and I are sitting. "Drew's one of your best friends, he just broke up with Clare and you ask her out knowing he's not over her yet?!" She snaps at Owen and then looks at me. "And you! How could you date someone like Owen?!"

"Hey!" Owen says offended.

"Bianca we aren't really dating," I tell her hoping to dispel her anger.

"Then why is the whole school saying you are?" She questions.

"Because we want it to appear that we're dating but it's all fake," I reply.

"Okay more details please," she requests sitting down.

"Owen said Drew got jealous when he saw me pulling up with Lucas. I didn't want to break up; Drew broke up with me, so…" I'm saying when she cuts me off.

"So you two are fake dating to drive Drew mad with jealousy and make him realize what a terrible mistake dumping you was," she finishes catching on quickly.

"Right," Owen nods.

"Devious," she grins like a Cheshire cat, "I love it! But why make the whole school think you're dating? Why not just make out in front of Drew or something?"

"Because we have to really sell it or Drew won't believe, it's not a con unless we're conning everyone. Plus I think it's going to take more than one make out session for Drew to want me back," I tell her.

"Just pretend you slept with Owen, that will get to him," Bianca suggests and I shake my head.

"He has to want back in a hundred percent, want me back more than just not wanting to lose me to Owen," I tell her.

"Okay you want to draw me a map to that sentence?" Bianca requests, guess vague isn't going to work here.

"I'm pregnant," I clarify and Bianca's eyes pop out.

"Does Drew know?" Bianca questions and I nod. "AND HE STILL DUMPED YOU?! THAT PRICK!" Bianca screams and turns starting to run down the bleachers but I grab her.

"Bianca stop, I didn't let Owen beat him up and I'm not letting you either. I'm still in love with Drew, he got scared and broke up with me, at least that's what I'm hoping," I comment.

"Why not just tell Audra, she'd set him straight," Bianca remarks.

"Because I don't want him to be forced, if Audra forces him to be with me and support me then Drew will end up truly hating me and our child. I want Drew back, I want him to be a part of this and be here with me through the pregnancy, whether I keep the baby or not, but I'm not going to force him. If Drew's going to step up and come around then he has to do it on his own," I tell her.

"Well you dating Owen will definitely get to him; even if it is fake dating of course Drew doesn't know that. I have a study date with Dallas this afternoon at the Torres house, I'll be sure to talk about what a cute couple you are," Bianca grins.

"You and Dallas," Owen snickers.

"Shut up," Bianca snaps and hits his arm.

"Thanks Bianca, please don't tell anyone I'm pregnant though. Besides the two of you and Drew, only Lucas, his mom and Mia know that I'm pregnant, and my mom. I told Drew and he freaked out and broke up with me. I went home and e-mailed Mia because I was scared, then my mom found the pregnancy test in the trash. She more than freaked out; she disowned me, told me I was dead to her and kicked me out. When Mia couldn't reach me she called Lucas to come and find me and he took me to his mom's place which is where I'm currently staying. I just don't want anyone else to find out, I don't even know if I'm keeping the baby, I just want to keep it secret for as long as possible," I inform her.

"Well you can count on me not to say anything but damn you should have called one of us yesterday. I mean you find out you're pregnant, tell the dad and he freaks out and breaks up with you, then your mom disowns you and kicks you out, that's a hard day. Have you been to a doctor yet?" Bianca asks.

"No I'm only four weeks along and I know I'm pregnant," I reply.

"Well when are you supposed to have your first appointment?" Owen questions.

"I'm not actually sure, I was going to look that stuff up, of course I was hoping Drew would be doing it with me," I grumble.

"Well we should find out and I can take you," Owen tells me.

"Thanks but that's probably taking the fake boyfriend thing a step too far," I respond.

"Well someone should go with you and if you're pretending to date Owen then it might as well be him," Bianca remarks as the bell rings.

"Okay I guess you can take me," I shrug grabbing my empty yogurt container to toss it on the way back into school.

"You sure the yogurt was enough for you?" Owen asks when we toss our trash.

"Not much of an appetite, the first sign that I might be pregnant was the constant vomiting," I tell them making a face at the memory.

Owen puts his arm around me as we walk back into school to keep up appearances that we're dating.

"I'm on my spare but I was going to go to the resource center and start on some University applications, unless you guys want me to stick around?" Bianca offers.

"No go ahead, I have a spare right now too," I reply.

"Me too, we could go to the resource center and look up when you should have your first appointment and stuff," Owen offers.

"That would give away the fact that I was pregnant," I point out in a near whisper.

"We'll just say it's a project for parenting class," Owen counters.

"Okay but let me go to my locker to get a notebook first," I request.

Owen walks with me to my locker and I open it while he leans against the locker next to mine.

"You want to come to my place and do homework after my practice?" He asks and I give him a look. "What? It's a thing that boyfriends and girlfriends do," he argues.

"Yeah but Drew won't be there," I remind him.

"Yes but my family is going to have to think we're dating too, Tris goes to the same school," Owen points out.

"Okay fine," I give in closing my locker.

"Kiss me," Owen says suddenly looking over my shoulder.

"Excuse me?" I question.

I try to turn my head to see what he was looking at but Owen puts a hand behind my head and crushes my lips to his. I realize he must have seen Drew and start kissing him back. Our mouths stay closed and we only hold it for about five seconds but it's long enough. The second our lips have space between them a fist makes contact with Owen's face and he falls back as I shriek!

"STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!" Drew yells at him trying to swing another punch but Owen ducks.

"She's not your girlfriend anymore you broke up with her," Owen reminds him

Drew just gets angrier and knees Owen in the gut! I gasp as Owen doubles over but then he tackles Drew to the ground and I gasp again.

"Guys stop it! Owen knock it off!" I demand, after all he has no real reason to be fighting over me.

Neither of them are listening though, they're both just rolling around on the ground wrestling. I reach down trying to pull them apart and begging them to stop, but they're concentrating too hard on the other. Drew tries to punch Owen in the face while he has the upper hand but Owen catches his fist.

"Owen, Drew sto…ow!"

My sentence cut off by a sharp whimper as Drew rips his fist from Owen's grasp, the momentum so strong the inertia sends it flying back. Instead of making contact with Owen's face Drew's fist makes contact with my stomach and I fall back into the lockers.

"What the fuck is going on?! What the hell's the matter with you two?!" Jake growls at them as he catches me and helps me to stand.

"Milligan, Torres get up now!" Armstrong barks at them just as the bell rings. "Everyone else get to class," Armstrong tells the crowd that has gathered and they begin to disperse.

"Clare are you okay?" Owen asks me.

I look at Drew but he won't even look at me, he just stands there with his fist and jaw clenched and his head down.

"I'm okay," I nod.

"Why were you two fighting?!" Armstrong questions them.

"He was kissing my girlfriend," Drew growls but without looking up.

"She's not your girlfriend anymore; you broke up with her yesterday. As of today she's my girlfriend and I can kiss my girlfriend," Owen responds.

"Clare?" Armstrong asks.

"Drew broke up with me yesterday and I'm dating Owen now," I confirm.

"Okay Drew stay out of their relationship, and both of you have detention. Owen I'll speak to your coach about keeping you after practice to serve yours. Drew I'll see you after school," Armstrong tells them.

Drew growls and walks off, Armstrong leaves to teach a class and I look at Jake.

"Shouldn't you be getting to class?" I question.

"Yeah but I had to talk to you, why'd you and Drew break up? Why'd you move in with your dad? And why are you dating Owen?" Jake inquires.

"_Guess mom told Jake and Glen that I moved in with Dad, that's original." _I grumble silently before replying, "Drew and I had a fight, Owen asked me out and…I just couldn't take living with mom anymore."

"You want me to talk to your mom?" Jake offers.

"Don't bother she won't listen, you better get to class, Owen and I are on our spare," I tell Jake.

He gives me a look, shoots a look at Owen and then walks off; Owen waits until we're alone in the hall before speaking.

"Are you sure you're okay? Drew knocked you pretty hard in the stomach," Owen says.

"I'm alright really, it didn't hurt that much and it's not like there's a baby to really hurt yet," I respond.

Before Owen can answer Adam rushes over, he's got a spare this period as well.

"I just heard Owen got in a fight with Drew because he hit you, also why are you dating Owen?" Adam inquires.

"Drew threw the first punch but he didn't mean to hit Clare," Owen tells him.

"Drew got jealous that I was kissing Owen, he accidently hit me while they were fighting," I affirm.

"Okay and you're dating Owen because?" Adam questions.

"Because Drew broke my heart and Owen's sweet, can we drop it now?" I say in a sharper voice then I intend, Adam flinches slightly and I sigh. "You want to go get a start on our writing craft class homework?" I ask Adam.

"Yeah sure," he nods.

"See you after school," I say to Owen and deciding I better sell the fact that we're dating I reach up and kiss his cheek.

Owen grins, I turn taking Adam's arm and we walk off toward the garden.

**(DREW)**

I went to the weight room and started hitting the punching bag. I was angry and just swinging punches, pretending the bag was Owen.

"Bro you're going to hurt your hand if you keep doing that," Dallas warns me.

"I don't fucking care," I reply, I pull back to swing again but Dallas blocks my hand.

"If you don't want Clare to go out with Owen then why don't you go talk to her?" Dallas suggests.

"_Because I can't, because she hates me now or why else would she be going out with Owen? Because I hit her, and yelled at her, let her down and I'm too ashamed to face her." _Instead of saying any of that I just push Dallas away from me. "Just back off!" I snap at him and storm out.

Owen is in the resource center, he's not the only one but there are only a couple other kids in there. He's at a computer facing the back wall and I march in with my fist clenched!

"What are you doing with her?" I growl at him in a low voice.

"Doing what you couldn't, stepping up," Owen tells me and I look at the screen. He's looking at prenatal appointments, my anger rises even higher, burning even hotter. My jaw gets tight and I clench my teeth, my heart pounding hard in my chest. "Clare and I will raise the baby together," he tells me in a low voice so that no one else hears.

I want to punch him again but instead I rip the other computer from it's stand and let it crash to the ground! The other kids are looking at me now and I storm out, out of the room and out of the school, leaving my jacket and backpack in my locker.

"DREW WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Adam yells after me but I ignore him and keep walking.

"Drew," Clare pleads putting her hand on my arm.

The anger inside me erupts at her touch I yank my arm away and turn to her. "LEAVE ME ALONE! GO BE HAPPY WITH OWEN!" I yell at her.

She starts to tear up, shrinking back from me and pulling her jacket tighter around her as, Adam runs up putting an arm around her and glaring at me. I look away from them both, angry and ashamed at myself.

"Andrew what is wrong with you?!" My brother scolds me.

I'm already walking away though and I don't look back. I've never actually ditched school before and I don't feel much like being around people so I just walk home. I'm burning so hot with anger that the below zero temp doesn't even bother me as I make the four block trek home. The house is empty thankfully, I go up to my room slamming the door and laying on my bed. When I hear a car in the driveway I know Mom is home, I know she's angry when she slams the door and stomps up the stairs.

"Destroying school property and getting into fights?! What has gotten into you Andrew? This isn't like you; did Clare do something, is that why you broke up with her?" Mom questions in a scathingly disappointed tone.

"Yes…no…just leave me alone Mom!" I snap at her.

"That's not happening; you've been suspended until Monday. You'll spend your suspension here with me, on lock down doing homework, extra credit and extra chores. Starting with cleaning out the garage, come on lets go," Mom commands.

I huff but get up and go down to the garage, I'm still cleaning it out when Bianca and Dallas pull up close to five.

"Dude I thought you'd be dead considering you got suspended," Dallas remarks when they get out and start walking to the basement.

"I'm on house arrest," I respond.

"I'll be right in," Bianca says to Dallas, he nods and goes inside. Bianca walks over to me and leans on a box. "So are you more pissed that you lost the best thing you ever had or that Clare and Owen make such a cute couple? Maybe it's that Owen is more of a man than you, that he's stepping up and supporting Clare and he's going to raise the baby with her."

"Good it's probably his baby; he can be stuck with it! We were always safe; it's not my child she cheated on me! He asked her out the second I broke up with her it must be his!" I growl back out of hurtful anger, not thinking at all about my words before they leave my mouth.

"Wake up you moron," Bianca snaps at me slapping me upside the head. "Clare is not the kind of girl that would cheat and she loves you. It's your kid Drew; you left Clare alone and scared! She got kicked out by her mom and the reason Lucas brought her to school this morning is because she's now living with him. Maybe you should stop thinking about yourself for two seconds and start thinking about what Clare is going through!"

After her lecture Bianca storms off, her words don't do anything but fuel the fires of rage inside me. She's not wrong though, I sink down and lean against the boxes, anger and shame storming inside of me. There's a little part in the back of my mind that's yelling at me that Bianca is right. That I need to man up and go to Clare, beg for forgiveness and be there for her and our child. The angry part of my brain, the irrational selfish part of me, the part that's worried what my family will think, that part gets bigger and stomps on the part of me that thinks about apologizing to Clare. It smothers that part until it's all but extinguished and all that's left is a deep burning ire.

"What was with you today? I get that you don't like seeing Clare with Owen but you scared her today Drew. I don't like it either but you broke up with her, she has the right to date who she wants," Adam reprimands walking up.

"JUST BACK OFF ADAM!" I holler at my brother.

He flinches back a little, then sighs shaking his head and walks away toward the house. I decide to ditch the garage and walk off, sticking my hands in coat pockets. I can't sit here any longer and I can't keep cleaning out the garage it's just making me angrier. Everything is making me angrier; I need to find a way to blow off some steam!

**(CLARE)**

"Are you okay?" Adam asks after his brother storms off.

"I didn't mean for this to happen Adam," I apologize sniffling in my tears.

"Didn't mean for what to happen? Why'd you two breakup anyway?" He inquires.

"I told you Adam we had a fight, we just…Drew just didn't want me anymore," I reply with a heavy sigh.

"Then why is he getting so angry? Also why are you rebounding with Owen of all people?" Adam questions.

"Drew broke up with me I can date whoever I want," I respond in a sharper tone than I intended and Adam scrunches his face at me. "Come on let's just go finish our homework."

We sit back in the garden and do homework until the bell, we walk in together but we have different classes this period.

"You want to meet at the Dot after school? If Mom finds out Drew ditched she's going to explode, I should probably stay away from home for a while," Adam says when we reach his music class.

"Sure," I smile and walk to my native studies class.

"So from Drew to Owen huh?" Dallas remarks sitting at his desk.

"Owen asked me out," I shrug.

"Damn I should have been faster," Dallas replies sardonically.

"You've already got a study date with Bianca," I remind him.

He just grins and some other kids start filing into class. Class consists of a video and reading in our text books. When the bell rings I walk to my locker and stash some books. As soon as I close my locker and turn around I'm met by a pair of lips, my pseudo steady sweetheart's lips to be exact. It's a soft peck, we don't even part our lips and it's only a few seconds but he leans me against the lockers and I put my hands at the back of his neck so I'm sure that it looks much more passionate than it really was.

"Drew ditched we don't need to be making anyone jealous," I whisper when Owen breaks the kiss but remains leaning over me.

"Gotta con everyone," he whispers back and then raises his voice, "still coming to my place after practice?" He asks.

"Yeah I'll be at the Dot with Adam," I tell him.

"Good pick you up there," Owen responds straightening up so I can walk.

He walks out with his arm around me and Adam is waiting for me on the steps. Owen gives me one last quick kiss for show and then he walks toward the Ice Hounds bus. Adam and I walk to the Dot and get a table, barely able to pull out our books before Alli sits herself down at our table.

"I thought you had totally lost your mind when you started dating Drew last summer but at least you seemed happy. But really Clare Owen?! He's like the grossest guy in the school," she says in a lecturing disapproving tone.

"Alli he is not, Owen is very sweet," I argue defending my fake relationship, got to con everyone. _"And Owen is noble, brave and is a good friend; after all not very many people would go to the lengths he's going to help me get Drew back."_

"Alli I don't like it either but it's none of our business who Clare dates, unless Owen hurts her then we can step in but it's not up to us to pick her boyfriends," Adam says in my defense and I smile at him.

Considering his brother is involved Adam's handling stuff pretty well, of course Adam is probably the most even keeled person I know, and he doesn't know all the factors. If Drew doesn't come around he may never know all the factors. Alli huffs and walks off, Adam shakes his head and I get back to my homework. Adam gets himself a snack but I'm not hungry, I just get a ginger ale, hoping it will settle my stomach. Owen walks in a little after half past five and I start packing up my stuff.

"See you tomorrow Clare," Adam smiles when I've got my stuff packed up.

"You want a lift home?" Owen offers to Adam.

"Better not, if Drew sees me pulling up with the two of you he might blow his top…again, see you guys," Adam replies.

Owen puts his hand at my back and we walk out to his car, his house is just a couple blocks down and he parks.

"Holy crap it's true!" Tris exclaims when I walk into the Milligan house with Owen.

"Tristan language!" His mother admonishes from what I assume to be the kitchen but she's behind a wall so I can't see.

Owen closes and locks the door, puts his hand at my back and we take a few steps into the house. His mom was indeed in the kitchen, she's tall and thin with strawberry blonde hair and Owen's eyes. She gives me a kind smile and gives me a quick once over.

"Clare this is my mom Lydia, Mom this is Clare my girlfriend," Owen introduces us.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Clare," Lydia smiles shaking my hand.

"Thanks you too," I smile.

"You know my brother Tris," Owen says nodding back to him and Tris says hey. "We're going to do homework in my room, can Clare stay for dinner?" Owen asks.

"Yes of course," Lydia smiles then Owen and I walk down the hall to his room.

Owen's room is a mess, dirty clothes, hockey gear and towels scattered about, along with trash and some remnants of past meals.

"Sorry wasn't expecting to bring home a girlfriend today, fake or not," Owen apologizes.

"It's fine, it's neater than Eli's room," I tell him, of course Eli has hoarding tendencies so that's not saying much.

Owen pushes a bunch of clothes off his bed and pulls his comforter down smoothing it out so we can sit on his bed. He leans against the headboard and I lie on my side, propped on my arm while I start on my native studies homework.

"Assuming this scheme actually works and I get Drew back what are we going to tell your family? Or anybody for that matter?" I inquire after a few minutes.

"That you were still in love with Drew and got back together with him and we're all friends again. Assuming he doesn't kill me for going out with you between now and then," Owen remarks and then looks down at his book. "Hey I looked it up, you should have your first prenatal between six and eight weeks. You can have one earlier to confirm you're pregnant though," he says after a few minutes.

"I know I'm pregnant, I don't need it confirmed, I knew I was pregnant before I took the home pregnancy test. I was just hoping I was wrong, that I was sick or something," I reply.

"Okay well we should find you a doctor and schedule you an appointment in the next few weeks," Owen says.

"We? You do remember this is all a scheme, we're not actually dating and you're not the father," I point out.

"Yeah I know but that doesn't mean I can't go with you as friend, I don't want you going through this alone. You aren't alone in this Clare and I don't want you to feel that way," Owen counters and I smile at him.

"Okay I'll call tomorrow," I tell him.

He grins and we go back to our homework, working for about an hour before Tris calls us that dinner is ready. We leave Owen's room and I see that his dad is home, he has darker hair than Owen's, a similar build but he's a little more slight, Owen is more buff but I'm guessing that has to do with the sports Owen plays and how much he works out.

"You must be Clare, I'm Ron, Owen and Tristan's father," he says extending his hand to me.

"It's nice to meet you Sir," I smile shaking his hand.

Lydia made chicken, rice and salad for dinner, the chicken looks good but it was cooked in onions and garlic and the strong smell is getting to me. I may not really be dating Owen but I'm not going to be rude so I sit down at the table next to him determined to eat as much as I can. I take just a little bit of everything and no one says anything, Owen does give me a bit of a concerned look though.

"So when did you and Owen start dating?" Lydia asks after asking how everyone's day was.

"Today, Clare's boyfriend of like forever broke up with her yesterday and Owen asked her out today," Tris answers for us.

"Not forever just six months," I correct Tris.

"That's terrible that you broke up after so long, what happened?" Lydia questions and I look at Owen.

"Mom she doesn't want to talk about it," he says coming to the rescue and I smile at him.

His parents ask me a few more questions but every time they ask something I don't want to answer Owen changes the subject for me. After dinner Owen says he has to get me home and I grab my stuff from his room before saying goodbye to his family. We get in his car and I tell him how to get to Lucas' house. He walks with me to the door and I open it with my key, Lucas is on the sofa and looks over at us.

"I was starting to wonder what happened to you," he says in a lightly scolding voice.

"Sorry I did homework with Adam and then went to Owen's for dinner," I apologize.

"I didn't know you guys were such good friends," Lucas comments.

"Well now you know," Owen remarks sardonically, "also we're pretending to date so Drew will realize he's an idiot for leaving her."

"Cool, wait so you know she's…" Lucas starts.

"Pregnant, yeah I put the pieces together after she was vomiting and told me her mom kicked her out. I'll see you tomorrow Clare, hey and call the doctor to set up an appointment," Owen reminds me.

"Yeah I will," I nod.

Owen waves and turns for his car, I close and lock the door behind him and start walking up the stairs.

"I'm going to take a shower," I tell Lucas.

"Okay, oh Mia called when she didn't hear from you," Lucas tells me.

"Shoot I forgot and my phone is still at my mom's house," I comment.

"That's what I told her, well anyway she and Izzy are coming out in a couple of weeks," he informs me.

"I'd love to see them, Izzy must be so big. I'm going to shower and finish up my last bit of homework," I reply.

Lucas just nods and I go upstairs to the washroom, I toss my book bag in my room and turn on the shower. A million thoughts rushing through my head as I wait for the water to heat up, on top of the list is concern and confusion about Drew's suddenly perpetually angry state.

**Update next Tuesday starting with Drew pov and making a friend of sorts.**


	3. Don't Walk Away

**Tonight's episode was just sickening! I wanted to vomit like twelve times, anyway enjoy the chapter.**

**Ch. 3 Don't Walk Away**

**(DREW)**

I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do, I just wanted to be away from everyone. At least everyone who was going to try and tell me my business, everyone who was going to ask me what was going on and ask me why I broke up with Clare, so I had to get away from my family and friends. I wandered a few miles away from the houses back towards school a little and out to the ravine. I started at one end and just started walking down along the water. I had no idea where I was going, or where the kids hung out, Owen once told me it wasn't far from the school but I didn't exactly feel like company so that's not where I was headed. I was still walking, caught up in my mind when I heard my name being called.

"Hey Torres."

I stop walking and look over to see Fitz with a couple of his buddies that do go to DeGrassi still, buddies that unlike Owen and Bianca haven't turned their lives around.

"Pissed off about your girlfriend leaving you?" Asks one of them, I think his name is Craig but he's not at school enough for me to remember.

"Clare left you?" Fitz snickers.

"She didn't leave me!" I growl marching up to Fitz and getting in his face. "I BROKE UP WITH HER UNDERSTAND?!"

"Dude chill, have a beer," Fitz says after I yell in his face.

I take the beer and sit down against a tree, opening the can and taking a few sips. "I thought you found God?" I question Fitz after a minute.

"I did, I would have punched you in the face for yelling at me before. I hold a steady job, I don't get into fights or threaten people with knives anymore, I haven't given up all my vices. We're drinking in the woods we're not hurting anybody," Fitz points out.

"So you pissed off that you broke up with Clare and she's dating Owen now?" One of them asks; I forget his name too.

"Clare left you for Owen?! Dude that has to hurt," Fitz laughs.

"Shut up, I don't want to talk about her or my so called friend," I respond in a bitter tone.

"Hey I feel you dude, I thought I'd get out of juvie and my friends would be happy to see me ya know? A few of them were," Fitz says waving his hand around, that's still clutching his beer, indicating his current drinking buddies, "but my two best friends wouldn't even come see me. I tried to tell them that I'd found God and turned my life around. They'll hardly even look at me when they come into the Dot. At least Clare forgave me but Eli started getting all weird and possessive and she avoided me to make him happy, then he goes and tries to kill himself and writes that creepy ass story."

"Yeah they're friends again you know, she always swore to me they were just friends now but maybe, maybe they were more. And Owen, he's supposed to be one of my best friends but the second I break up with Clare he moves in on her! Some friend," I grouse as I finish off my beer and take another from the cooler.

"Don't you think you should slow down?" Fitz asks.

"I think you should mind your own damn business!" I bark back at him.

We sit for a while talking, mostly trashing people at DeGrassi, mostly Owen, Bianca and Clare. I lose track of time but I drink three more beers during this time.

"Hey I gotta get to work, make sure he gets home guys," Fitz tells his friends.

"Yeah sure," one of them says and then Fitz takes off.

"I know she's lying, she has to be lying," I mutter as I finish my fourth beer and stand up a little wobbly to go to the cooler. "Hey we're out of beer," I slur to the other two.

"I've got something a little stronger," one of them remarks pulling a bottle of clear liquid from his pocket and handing it to me.

I take the bottle and open it, the fumes make my eyes water and smell is very strong. Holding it to my lips I take a sip, my face scrunches when it hits my tongue, burning my throat on the way down. I think it's vodka but it tastes like it was mixed with lighter fluid or something. I sit down and we pass around the bottle, we're mostly silent aside from the occasional remark or random noise.

"I never should've sharted dating her; she's my best brother's friend, no wait that's not right. My brother's best friend that's a girl, you should never date your Adam's friends 'cause they are just trouble," I slur and the other two start laughing. "You know what the worst part is? Huh? You know what totally fucking sucks about this whole fucking fucked up sitiation, I shtill love that girl. I Andrew Torres," I say standing up with the bottle in one hand and the other over my heart; I take a huge swig before passing the bottle. "Me Andrew Drew Torres, that's me you know, I still love Clare Diana whose mom is a bitch Edwards. I still love Clare, that's the worsht part of this whole thing!" I tell them stumbling a few steps and taking back the bottle before one of them takes another sip. "I still love Care…wait dats not her name. Her name rhymes with Care! I love you CareClare!"

Suddenly the world starts to get dizzy, the trees are shifting, the ground is moving, I fall forward and then the lights go out! I wake up late Tuesday morning, my head is throbbing, my stomach hurts and there's a horrible smell. My eyes open slowly and I look around, I appear to be in a van, an old one with a mattress in back. I sit up slowly and groan as even that movement hurts my head. I feel like I'm going to barf so I find the handle and rush out, I see a few kids sitting around a fire pit, the backseat of a car that was ripped out and some logs. It vaguely occurs to me in the back of my head that I must be at the ravine where the kids hang out. I don't really think about it as I get through the trees a little way and lean against one just as everything in my stomach comes up again. Kneeling down on all fours as I hack up what feels like everything I've eaten in the last week. I finish and lean against a tree, groaning as I feel like death and then I hear an angry and slightly distressed voice. I don't feel like moving but the voice happens to belong to the girl I love so I get up and start walking back fast.

"No you're a pig and totally disgusting, I don't even want to look at you!" Clare snaps.

"Aw come on baby you seem like you need to party, I'll show you a real good time," some ravine scum says with his arm around her waist.

"Let go of me!" Clare demands.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF HER!" I scream at the guy hitting him as hard as I can and he lets go of her.

He falls to the ground as Clare gasps, the guys is buzzed and slightly dazed but I'm so fueled by rage I don't even care. I sit on him and just start punching him as hard as I can, hitting his face again and again! I don't even care when his nose starts spurting blood getting it on my fist and clothes.

"Drew stop!" Clare begs on the verge of tears but I keep punching the guy. "Andrew stop you're going to kill him!" She shrieks grabbing my fist before I can hit him again.

I yank my fist back looking at her, standing up from the bloody boy now on the ground I take a step toward Clare. She takes a step back from me ending up backed up against Fitz.

"What are you even doing here?!" I growl at her.

"Looking for you," she says crying a little, "Adam called last night and said you were missing. I was worried, no one could find you."

"JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME CLARE! GO BACK TO OWEN AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I scream at her and turn away, too angry and ashamed to look back at her. I feel like hell but I take off walking as fast as I can to get away from Clare, my coat is gone, I just notice as it starts to rain and I become soaked to the bone.

"HEY DREW!" Fitz yells. I ignore him and keep walking, "Dude slow up, what was all that about? What the hell is wrong with you?" Fitz questions.

"Just leave me alone Fitz," I growl at him.

"Where are you going?" He asks ignoring my last request.

"I don't know, somewhere else," I respond sharply.

"Come on you need some breakfast and I know a place we can go," he tells me.

Since I don't have any better idea I go with Fitz, we walk to the Dot first. He goes in through the back and tells me to wait in the alley; he comes back out with some breakfast. Black coffee which is gross but at least he got me a couple of croissants to soak up the acid in my stomach.

"I need to get off the streets, my mom's probably looking for me, or got the cops out looking for me," I remark as we start walking.

"I told you I know a place," Fitz says.

We walk about a mile and end up near an abandoned train bridge. It looks like other kids hang out here sometime but right now we're alone. We sit on a couple of crates to finish our coffee and eat breakfast. When we're done eating we keep sitting there, silent and me stewing in anger.

"What are you even doing here? Why stay with me?" I question Fitz after a short time.

"I didn't want you to get hurt or something, you don't know all the backdoor places in this town," Fitz replies. I just shrug and lean back against the stone wall. "I have to get to work, come on I'll get you home," Fitz comments after a few hours.

"I can't go home, just leave me alone I'll find my own way," I respond.

"Drew you should really…" Fitz starts but I interrupt him.

"JUST LEAVE ME!" I holler at him.

"Just be careful," he says slowly sounding reluctant to go.

He walks off, looking back at me a couple of times but he's finally out of sight. I sit there alone wrapped up in my angry thoughts, convincing myself that Clare had cheated on me, that it wasn't my baby, that I had every right to be angry and l had every right to leave her to take care of it on her own. While my anger is fuming I hear voices, voices of teenagers coming this way and I realize that the rain has stopped. A small group of teenagers appears from around the corner, four guys and two girls. They sit down and start passing around beers, one of the guys offers me a beer and I take it. Then another, and another, and another until I'm so drunk I can hardly see straight. Which in my drunken state seems like perfect time to start walking, I stumble around a bit, it's gotten dark now, and manage to find my way back to DeGrassi and I keep going. Stumbling onto the front lawn of Clare's house, I recognize her mom's plotted plants on the stoop and the window planter box that Glen put in.

"HEY YOU BITCH!" I scream at the house picking up a plant, in a pot with daisies painted on it, and tossing it through the kitchen window!

Glass shatters with a loud crash! Glen, Jake and Helen come running outside but Clare isn't with them.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! I knew you were trouble, I never wanted Clare to date you!" Helen snarls at me.

"Drew what's wrong with you?" Jake inquires coming over to me.

"WHERE IS SHE?" I yell at Jake.

"She doesn't live here anymore Drew. You're family's been looking for you, you need to go home," Jake tells me.

"SCREW OFF!" I yell at him curling my fist and taking a swing but I slip on the wet snowy grass, fall forward into the snow and go unconcious.

**(CLARE)**

I get out of a nice hot shower, wrap myself in a towel and go back to my room to get pajamas on. As soon as I have my towel off I hear my phone ringing. I expect it to be Drew, he always did seem to know when I was naked, even when we weren't anywhere near each other. When I see the caller ID I find that it's the wrong Torres brother as it's Adam who's calling me.

"Adam?"

"Have you heard from Drew?" Adam questions.

"No, not since this morning at school," I reply, "what's wrong?"

"He's missing," Adam tells me.

"Missing?! What do you mean missing?!" I exclaim as my chest gets tight with worry for Drew.

"He's only been gone for a couple of hours; we're just calling around to see if anyone has seen him. Dad and Dallas are out looking for him, we'll find him he can't have gone that far. Just if he calls or comes by call us will you?" Adam requests.

"Yeah of course, call me if you find him please?" I tell him.

"I will," Adam says and hangs up.

I quickly get dressed in jeans, a long sleeve top and my fuchsia wool coat. Snow boots last I grab my purse and start running down the stairs.

"I'll be back," I call into the kitchen as I head for the door.

"Whoa! Where do you think you're going? It's minus twelve outside and snowing again and you don't have a car," Lucas points out shutting the front door before I can make it out. He's dressed for work and has to leave soon but his shirt isn't buttoned up exposing his white undershirt.

"Drew is missing I'm going to look for him," I reply as Evelyn comes out from the kitchen.

"Isn't Drew the baby's father?" Evelyn asks.

"Yes and Adam just called and said he was missing I need to find him," I reiterate getting frustrated that they won't let me go.

"You can't go wandering around the streets in the cold and dark by yourself Clare you're pregnant! People are looking for him, they will find him, you need to stay here with Mom and relax. I have to get to work, do not leave this house," Lucas asserts.

"But…" I start to argue.

"Lucas is right honey you need to take care of yourself; it's only going to make things worse if you get sick. Someone will find Drew, his family is out looking for him they will find him," Evelyn says taking my hand and pulling me away from the door.

She sits me on the sofa and hands me the TV remote, I sigh and turn on the TV. Lucas finishes getting ready for work and hugs me before he leaves reminding me not to leave the house. I watch TV with Evelyn for about three hours before she goes to bed but I can't sleep, I'm just worried about Drew. The hour gets later and Adam hasn't called yet. I fall asleep on the sofa watching TV sometime after one in the morning. I wake up when Lucas lifts me into his arms and starts carrying me upstairs. He lies me in bed and I'm still clutching my phone, I wait until Lucas is out of the room before I check my phone again. Adam still hasn't called or even texted, I bite my lip fighting back the tears I just want to know that Drew's okay.

I wake up to my alarm Tuesday morning feeling exhausted and even more worried because I still haven't heard from Adam. Getting up slowly and dragging myself to the washroom for my morning bout of vomiting, I skip breakfast and take so long to get ready I get to school late even with Lucas driving me. I get a note from the office and head to class, Adam isn't in class, they must still be looking for Drew, this only makes me more worried.

When class lets out I stash my backpack in my locker and go outside, I don't want to be at school, I want to know how the search is going. Then for whatever reason the idea comes to me to check for Drew in the lot, the part of the ravine near the school where the kids hang out. I look back at Officer Turner but he isn't paying attention to me so I slip into the woods and start heading there. It's fairly quiet this early in the morning, I only see a few guys sitting or standing around. I emerge from the trees and a guy sizes me up licking his lips.

"Hey Baby you looking for me?" He asks his words slurring just slightly he must be a little drunk.

"No I'm looking for Drew Torres have you seen him?" I question.

"Nope but you got a nice rack wanna stay here and party with me? I got something you can look for, it's hidden in my pants," he laughs in a slimy tone.

"No you're a pig and totally disgusting, I don't even want to look at you!" I snap at him.

"Aw come on baby you seem like you need to party, I'll show you a real good time," he says in a voice dripping with lust and creepiness as he steps up and puts his arm around my waist.

"Let go of me!" I bark at him trying to shove him away.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF HER!" Drew yells at the guy punching him with so much force he lets go of me.

I gasp as the guy falls to the ground! Drew sits on him and goes crazy punching the guy as hard as he can! Drew's fists connecting with the guys face again and again! The guy's nose starts spouting blood like a fountain but Drew is still punching him!

"Drew stop!" I plead feeling tears crowd my eyes as I think I might be watching Drew kill this guy. "Andrew stop you're going to kill him!" I shriek grabbing Drew's fist so he'll stop punching him.

Drew looks up at me, his deep blue eyes look into my light blue ones with hate. He pulls his fist out of my hand like my touch hurts him, he takes a step toward me and I'm afraid he might hit me next so I take a step back. I back up into a chest and hands rest on my arms softly, I don't need to see to know that it's Fitz; he still uses the same after shave.

"What are you even doing here?!" Drew barks at me.

"Looking for you," I reply timidly as a few tears slip from my eyes, "Adam called last night and said you were missing. I was worried, no one could find you."

"JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME CLARE! GO BACK TO OWEN AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Drew yells at me then he turns away and takes off farther into the ravine. He storms off and the skies open up, rain begins pouring down washing over me, I wish it could wash away the hurt I'm feeling.

"What happened with you two? I don't remember Drew being so pissed off all the time," Fitz remarks.

I turn around and look up at the brown eyed freckled boy; we share a past in a way. We had one date that he blackmailed me into and it ended with a poisoning and Eli being threatened with a knife. Fitz went to juvie for three months and found God which brought us closer in a way as we now had something in common. He also works at the Dot so we see him around, I guess he's sort of a friend now but we don't exactly hang out or even talk. I just hope that I can count on him for something very important right now.

"Fitz please if you ever truly cared about me, if you really found God then please go after him. Watch out for him; keep him from hurting himself or someone else. I'm worried about him, he's…just please watch out for him," I beg the former bully.

"Fine but I gotta work tonight, now get back to school before someone else hits on you," Fitz orders.

He takes off running after Drew and I turn to get back to school. I barely make it back to the picnic tables when I sit down and start crying. The harder I cry the harder it seems to rain, I just sit there in the rain with my head in my arms and sobbing. Everything is such a mess, a couple of days ago my world was blissful, not perfect or anything but I was happy. I still lived at home, I had a wonderfully sweet boyfriend who didn't explode at the smallest of things and I hadn't confirmed that I was pregnant. One tiny pink + had totally shattered my entire world.

"Clare what the hell are you doing out here?" Owen exclaims pulling me up from the picnic table. "It's pouring and freezing, you're going to get sick," he admonishes me taking off his Ice Hounds coat and putting it around me. "Come on I'm taking you to Lucas' place."

"I found Drew," I tell him when we get in his car.

It's not until he turns on the car and the heater that I realize how cold I truly am. The heater hasn't warmed up yet so it's blowing out cold air, I curl up trying to warm myself with my body heat.

"Take off your wet coat," Owen orders. "Where did you find Drew?" He questions as I take off my wet coat and wrap myself in his Ice Hounds jacket.

"At the lot, he went crazy and tried to kill this guy that hit on me. I made him stop and he stormed off, I had Fitz follow him," I tell Owen with chattering teeth.

"I'll call Drew's house and tell them but I'm getting you home first," he says.

The heater quickly gets hot and I start to warm up. Owen parks out front of Lucas' house and he runs around to open my car door for me.

"Shouldn't you be at school? Why the hell are you soaked?" Lucas inquires opening the front door before I can get my key.

"You get out of your wet clothes and go get in bed, you'll be lucky if you don't catch pneumonia," Owen scolds me.

I go upstairs and change into dry pajamas wrapping up under the covers. I don't feel sick and I feel much better now that I'm warm but now I'm feeling the lack of sleep. I fall asleep while Owen is still downstairs talking to Lucas. I wake up later that afternoon after a nightmare about Drew being so mad he just starts hitting everyone in his way and when he can't bring himself to hit me he walks off and I never see him again.

"How do you feel?" Lucas asks when I come downstairs.

"Better now that I've slept but still worried about Drew, any word?" I question.

"No but you should eat and Owen said he'd swing by after practice," Lucas tells me.

"I'm not hungry," I shake my head sitting at the table.

"You need to eat something, fruit or a bagel or something," Lucas insists.

He gets up, grabs me a yogurt from the fridge and puts it in front of me with a spoon. I eat the yogurt slowly and we go to the sofa to watch TV. At about four I call Adam but he says they haven't heard anything yet. The doorbell rings a little after five when I'm eating dinner with Lucas and Evelyn.

"Hey Owen want to join us for dinner?" Lucas asks.

As soon as I hear Owen's name I get up from the table and go to him, the look on his face is not a happy one and I begin to panic.

"What is it? Is Drew hurt? He's not dead is he? Tell me he's not dead?" I beg as I fear the worst.

"Drew's not hurt but he's been arrested."

**Update next Tuesday picking up from around here.**


	4. Are You Waiting, Are You Wishing

**Hey Secret Romance fans, my friend and faithful reader Christlove88 approached me about writing an extension for chapter 15 and a bit of an alternate ending. I gave her the go ahead and she wrote them, I looked them over and she's ready to the post them! She's posted them this afternoon under her account so I urge all Secret Romance fans to go read as soon as soon as you read tonight's chapter of course!**

**Ch. 4 Are You Waiting, Are You Wishing**

**(OWEN)**

"Arrested?! What do you mean he's been arrested?!" Clare exclaims frantically, Lucas puts an arm around her as she begins to shake a little.

"He was really drunk; he went to your house and threw a potted plant through your mom's kitchen window. He was yelling and tried to fight with Jake before passing out. I don't know everything, Bianca said he's facing a bunch of charges including vandalism and drunk and disorderly. Audra and Omar are doing what they can to keep him out of juvie," I tell her as Lucas' mom comes out from the kitchen.

"Juvie? He's going to juvie?!" She whispers in a distressed voice and turns a little green. "I don't feel so good," Clare says after a few seconds and then she drops like a dead weight as she suddenly goes unconscious!

"Shit!" I utter as Lucas and I both reach for her.

Lucas already has an arm around her and he picks her up before she hits the ground.

"Should we call 911, take her to the hospital?" Lucas asks his mom in a panicked voice.

"No she's waking up already, pregnant women faint all the time especially during their first trimester. There's a lot going on in her body, she's making an entire life in there and you add stress to that it gets to be too much," Lucas' mom says as Clare opens her eyes and grips Lucas' shirt reorienting herself back into consciousness. "Lucas why don't you lay her down on the sofa and I'll get her some water," Lucas' mom tells him and then walks back to the kitchen.

Lucas puts Clare on the sofa and she lets go of him, Lucas' mom brings her some water and I help Clare sit up a little.

"Thanks Evelyn," Clare smiles handing her back the water after taking a few sips.

"No problem Honey, how do you feel?" Evelyn asks her.

"A little dizzy, kind of weak," Clare replies sitting up a little more.

"Why don't you rest on the sofa for a while, we'll have the rest of dinner in the living room, would you like to join us Owen we have plenty?" Evelyn offers.

"Uh yeah thanks that would be good," I reply not wanting to leave Clare after watching her suddenly pass out.

Lucas goes into the kitchen and comes back with two half-eaten plates and hands one to Clare, he sits on one end of the sofa with the other plate in his lap. Clare moves so that she's sitting up and there's room for me to sit on the sofa between them. Evelyn comes out with a plate for me and her plate and she sits in the arm chair. Lucas turns on the TV and we watch while eating, Clare doesn't pass out again while I'm there but she doesn't eat much more either.

"If you guys don't mind I think I'm just going to go to bed," Clare says after nibbling at her plate for half an hour, eating the equivalent of about six bites and then setting her plate down.

"Of course Clare probably a good idea," Evelyn smiles.

"Are you okay, can you make it up the stairs?" I question.

"Yeah I can make it up the stairs; I think I'm okay now. Owen when you find out about Drew will you…"

"I'll tell you as soon as I know I promise," I assure her and she smiles.

"Thanks, goodnight everyone," Clare says standing up.

Lucas and I are ready to catch her but she doesn't fall and we watch as she makes it up the stairs on her own.

"I should probably get home, thanks for dinner Evelyn," I say getting up with my plate.

"Of course Owen, you're welcome over any time," Evelyn says as I put my plate in the sink.

"Thanks, will you call me if anything else happens with her tonight?" I request.

"Yeah of course," Lucas nods.

I tell them thanks and leave the house; I drive home and greet my family. Going into my room I close the door and start doing homework. I'm up late that night, both worried about Clare and waiting about news on Drew. I don't hear from Lucas or anyone else that night and fall asleep still in my clothes.

"Owen we have to leave for school," Tris calls banging on my door the next morning.

My eyes shoot open and I look at my phone, "Fuck!"

We have to be at school in half an hour, I jump up and get dressed as fast as can, quickly fix my hair, stuff my homework in my backpack, grab my brother and drive us both to school. We walk to the steps and Tris goes to his friends, I walk in to find Clare but find Dallas first.

"Hey any word on Drew?" I question.

"Yeah he's being sent to a camp near Fort Frances called Horizon or something like that, his flight is early tomorrow morning. It'll keep him out of juvie, Clare's mom wanted to press all kinds of charges. It's like a camp for bad kids; they go hiking and stuff even in the snow, go to therapy and volunteer at homeless shelters and stuff. It's a school too so he won't fall behind. He'll be back in eight weeks. Adam stayed home to help Drew pack and stuff," Dallas tells me.

"You seen Clare? I promised to tell her as soon as I found out," I comment.

"Haven't seen Clare, surprised you two care considering that you two are going out," Dallas remarks.

"He dumped her and you don't know shit, I gotta go find Clare," I say and walk off.

When I don't see Clare by her locker, with K.C. or any of her other friends, or in the memorial garden I send her a text.

**Owen: Where are you?**

**Clare: Bleachers.**

There's about six sets of bleachers at the school but I'm guessing she means the football bleachers where we ate lunch. I head out of school as the bell rings but I don't care about missing class, especially if Clare's missing class.

"What are you doing out here?" I ask sitting next to her.

"Didn't want to go to class, didn't want to see Drew or Adam in the hall and I have my first class with Adam. Is Drew going to juvie?" She asks quickly.

"They aren't here, Drew's getting sent to a camp, school thing near Fort Frances it's for troubled teens or something but it will keep him out of juvie. Adam stayed home to help him pack since he leaves tomorrow," I inform her.

"Great he's being sent a thousand miles away; you can stop pretending to date me now there's no point Drew won't see it. He's not going to get jealous he's been sent away," Clare laments standing up from the bleachers quickly.

"Clare," I say catching her hand and gently pulling her back down, "I thought the plan was to con everyone. Anyway Drew's only going to be there eight weeks not forever and I'm sure at least Adam will be writing to him. Maybe this is what Drew needs, he's been super angry recently because he can't deal with the fact that you're pregnant so maybe this will help."

"This whole thing is just a mess, my life, Drew's life, your life, Adam's and everyone else around us all our lives have been entirely screwed up. I can still have an abortion, maybe it won't be so bad if Drew doesn't come back to a problem," Clare says near tears putting her head in her hands.

"Is that what you want? Do you want an abortion?" I ask her putting a hand on her back.

She bites her bottom lip, some tears slipping from her eyes as she looks up at me again. "No but I don't know what else to do," she says as she starts sobbing. "I think it would be worse to give the baby up but I can't raise it on my own. What am I supposed to do Owen?"

"Clare you're not on your own even if Drew never steps up. You have me and Bianca, Lucas, Evelyn and I'm sure Adam and his family when you decide to tell them," I remind her and she nods. "You can get through this Clare, you're not alone. You just tell us what you need and what you want," I tell her.

"I want Drew, I need him," she says and cries harder putting her head in my lap.

I just rub her back and let her cry, at least until the bell rings and then I sit her up. "Come on we should probably show up for parenting class," I tell her as she wipes her eyes and rubs her head. "Are you okay?" I question.

"Not at all," she replies.

"I mean are you in pain or dizzy or something, you're rubbing your head?"

"It hurts, from crying I guess," she responds as she stands and then falters.

"Did you eat this morning?" I question grabbing her waist to keep her from falling on the bleachers.

"Evelyn forced me to eat an apple but I threw it up again," she says.

"Ok you get inside I don't think it's good for you to be out in the cold so long. I'll meet you in class with something to eat," I tell her.

"Okay thanks Owen," she says kissing my cheek.

I smile and stand up, helping her down the bleachers, we walk inside together and then she heads for her locker and I head for the caf. Not sure how much she'll actually be able to eat I get her a ginger ale and a granola bar. The bell rings as I start heading for our parenting class. I can hear Clare talking to someone as I approach but can't quite make out what they're saying until I'm close to the door and then I hear Jake.

"That boyfriend of yours is nuts! I always knew Drew had problems but showing up drunk! You always pick the crazies Clare," Jake says in a scolding tone, it's not exactly older brother concern more like condescension.

"What does that say about you? I dated you too!" She snaps back at him.

"Okay sometimes you have good taste," he snickers as I enter the room but he has his back to me so he doesn't see me, "but now Owen! What the hell is going on Clare?"

"What do you care Jake? My mom disowned me I'm not your stepsister anymore so it doesn't really matter who I date does it?" She responds in a sharp tone and gets up from her desk to walk to me.

Jake grabs her arm pulling her back but still hasn't turned around to look at me, "He vandalized the house and showed up drunk!" Jake growls at her while squeezing her arm.

I set down Clare's food, step around putting my hand on Jake's chest, shoving him into the desk he's sitting on which forces him to let go of Clare.

"Do not touch her!" I warn him in a calm but harsh tone while lightly crushing his chest with my arm.

"Owen he didn't hurt me let him go," Clare says putting her hand on my arm.

"Drew's parents are dealing with Drew and Clare is no longer your concern just stay the hell away from her! You don't know shit Jake," I bark at him taking my arm off his chest and gripping him by the shirt to get him up. I shove him away and he takes off through the doorway.

"Are you okay?" I ask her.

"I'm fine, he wasn't squeezing my arm, Jake isn't violent," she says.

"Come on you sit with me and Luke today," I tell her taking her food back to my table.

"You're really enjoying this f…" she starts to say fake boyfriend but Becky and Luke come in the room, "boyfriend thing aren't you?" She asks as she follows me back to my table.

"I saw you pass out last night I'm keeping a close eye on you," I reply as she sits down.

"Clare you passed out? Why'd you pass out? Adam told me about Drew? Why do you think he's so angry all of a sudden? Getting drunk and vandalizing your house, that's not like Drew," Becky says in basically one breath.

"It's not my house anymore Becky," Clare replies opening her ginger ale.

"So why'd you pass out?" Luke questions sitting at his usual spot next to me.

"I uh, haven't been feeling well," she responds slowly taking a small bite of her granola bar.

She drinks about half the ginger ale and nibbles about three bites of the bar before class starts and she has to trash the rest. Lunch is next and after that we have a spare period so I'll take her to the Dot and make sure she eats.

**(ADAM)**

"You're lucky you're not in juvie Drew, Helen wants your head on a stick she was yelling at Mom on the phone for almost an hour last night while Dad was picking you up from jail," I tell my brother after he finishes packing his suitcase and flops on his bed.

"Clare's mom is a bitch," Drew grumbles holding his head because he still has a hangover.

"Yeah I know," I reply getting up and going to the medicine cabinet to get Drew more aspirin, "that doesn't excuse what you did though," I remark giving him two aspirin.

"Yeah well I forgot that she moved in with Lucas and I never liked her mom," Drew responds swallowing the pills without water.

"Clare moved in with Lucas? Who the hell is Lucas?" I question.

"He dropped her off the other day, she says he's just an old friend," Drew replies through clenched teeth.

"If you're so jealous maybe you should call her," I suggest.

"No, I can't call her Adam," he sighs getting sort of sad, almost ashamed and then angry again. "Could you just leave me alone please Adam? I gotta be up at 3 am to get to the airport and I'm sure Mom's going to yell at me the whole way there," Drew sighs falling back onto his pillow.

"Yeah okay," I sigh getting up and reluctantly leaving my brother's room.

I have a million more questions for Drew but I know he's not going to answer them today, or possibly ever. I go into my room and try calling Clare, it's after six she should be home but she doesn't answer. She might be afraid it's Drew or more likely, knowing Clare the way I do, she's afraid I hate her because Drew is being sent away. I don't leave a message because I know I'll see her at school tomorrow. Dallas stays out after practice; Drew is on lockdown until he leaves early in the morning so he eats in his room. Mom and dad eat in their room and they're so pissed I'm not sure I want to eat with them anyway. I'm not on lockdown so I call Eli.

"Hey have you eaten yet?" I ask when he picks up.

"Yeah like an hour ago, is your mom so caught up with Drew she forgot to cook?" Eli questions.

"No she ordered food but everyone's eating in their rooms and I've been here all day, I feel like I need to get out of here," I tell him.

"I'll come get you, we could go to Little Miss Steaks or something, I could use some dessert," Eli offers.

"Thanks I'll be waiting outside," I tell him.

I put on my shoes and text my dad that I'm going out with Eli for a couple of hours. Then I wait for Eli on our front step, he pulls up a couple of minutes later. K.C. is working when we arrive at Little Miss Steaks and he seats us in a booth.

"Was Clare at school?" I ask him after K.C. gets our drink order.

"Yeah I saw her but didn't talk to her, Owen was around her all the time," Eli replies.

"They're dating and you were around her all the time even before you were dating," I remind him.

Marisol comes to take our order so Eli waits to reply. "Yeah but he was especially hovering, like he was worried about her or something. I did hear that she was arguing with Jake that morning. Did Drew really break a window at her house?" Eli asks me.

"Yeah, he threw a planter through the kitchen window but it's not Clare's house anymore she moved out," I inform Eli.

"Moved out? Moved out to where?" Eli inquires just as Marisol brings our drinks.

"She's living with some guy named Lucas according to Drew," I enlighten him.

"Who the hell is Lucas?" Eli queries.

"No idea, we can ask her tomorrow," I say.

We get off the subject of Clare and my brother and spend the rest of the time talking about Eli's play, and the band Mo is putting together that I'm thinking of trying out for. Eli takes me home at eight and after I shower I go to bed, setting an alarm for 3 am so I can say goodbye to Drew before he goes to the airport. I don't get much sleep, my mind in turmoil because I know two of the three closest people to me are keeping something from me. Something that tore them apart, is eating Drew from the inside and made Clare rebound with Owen, and possibly got her kicked out. When my alarm goes off I don't want to get up but I'm not going to see my brother for two months so I get up to say goodbye.

"Whatever it is Drew it'll get better," I tell him.

"Yeah I wish it would Adam, be good, see you in a couple months. Hey if anyone gives you any trouble tell Dallas he'll take care of it," Drew says.

We hug goodbye and then Drew hugs Dad, Mom tells him to grab their stuff and they go downstairs.

"I'm going to head into the office but you can get a few more hours of sleep," Dad says.

"Yeah I'll try," I respond and go back in my room.

I hear Dad leave and I do get back to sleep for a couple of hours. I wake up at the normal time when my alarm goes off and I groan. Dragging myself to the closet I get dressed, putting on my compression vest before my under shirt and t-shirt of course. Then my hoodie and my jacket, shoes and grab my backpack. Dallas is at the table eating breakfast, I'm allowed to drive Drew's car while he's away so I drive us to school. Dallas sees Bianca and runs over to greet her, I'm walking to the entrance when I see a car pulling up with Clare in the passenger seat and I really look at the driver knowing this must be Lucas. Clare kisses his cheek and gets out of the car so I wait for her, she isn't quite meeting my eyes and she bites her lip nervously as she approaches me.

"So that must be Lucas," I comment falling into step at her side as she starts walking up the steps.

"Yeah that's Lucas," she responds.

"Why didn't you tell me you moved out?" I question.

"I didn't move out I was kicked out," she tells me.

"Why were you kicked out? Clare what is going on?" I inquire catching her jacket sleeve and stopping her from walking.

"Nothing Adam," she snaps at me.

"Clare you can't tell me nothing, Drew broke up with you, you got kicked out, you're living with some guy I've never heard of before," I exclaim.

"Lucas dated Mia, you know the girl that moved to Paris to become a model? He's Jane's older brother, she dated Spinner, I know I've told you about Spinner," she says.

"Okay so why are you living with him? Why'd you get kicked out? Why won't you or Drew tell me what's going on?" I inquire in a frustrated tone because I'm tired of getting lied to.

"I can't tell you Adam," is her only reply.

"Why not?"

"I just can't Adam, please just let it go," she asserts.

"I don't get it; you and Drew are two of the closest people to me and neither of you will tell me what's going on! You two broke up and you're dating Owen but you and Drew still want each other," I lament in aggravation.

"Drew doesn't want me anymore," she shakes her head.

"Yeah he does, I know he broke up with you but every time he talks about you, he sounds sorry or ashamed. Angry too but behind the angry he's always sorry or ashamed. I don't know why you two broke up and I don't know why you won't tell me. You got kicked out and he got shipped off and no one will tell me what's going on and you both look miserable! I'll see you in class," I tell her giving up on the conversation as I see Owen coming and start walking away.

"Adam wait," she calls after me running over and catching my hand. "I can't tell you what's going on right now because…" she pauses with a heavy sigh, "I just can't okay but I will tell you when I can. Just not while Drew's gone, it's…complicated Adam. I'm sorry but that's all I can say right now. Is Drew…did he…" she stumbles over her words and I give in.

"Drew is okay, he's won't go to juvie and the camp might do him some good," I assure her.

"Everything okay?" Owen inquires coming over and putting an arm around Clare's shoulders.

"Yeah, see you in class Clare," I tell her and walk off to my locker.

**(CLARE)**

Wiping my hand over the fogged mirror to clear it I look at the reflection in it and frown at the girl staring back. I've got dark circles under my eyes and I'm slightly pale. It's been two weeks since Drew went to the troubled teens camp and I haven't heard anything from him. Adam's been giving me updates when he gets them, Owen and I are keeping up the fake relationship well, we have the whole school fooled, Adam and everyone else. Not that we do that much, he walks the halls with his arms around me, we almost always eat lunch alone on the football bleachers, I've had one other dinner at his house but he does hang out with me at Lucas' place a lot. Although I think it's more because he's worried about me, that I'm eating and making sure I won't pass out. We've kissed all of three times and always in front of Adam or Dallas who will tell Drew. Aside from that he's just been a really great friend, he even set up a prenatal appointment for me, I don't have it for another week.

Today I am seven weeks pregnant, seven weeks of having another life inside me. I wish I could say I was happy and glowing, thinking about the future and all the cute baby clothes we'd be getting, all the things we'd get to experience, like babies first smile, first laugh, first word, the first look when they open their eyes and look into yours. Only I wasn't looking forward to any of this. I wasn't even looking forward to being a mom, not without Drew. I wasn't alone, I had Owen, Bianca, Lucas, Evelyn and even Adam although he had no idea what was going on. I had Eli too but he was just as clueless and he'd been keeping his space recently, he was busy with the play of course but I think it was partly all the time I was spending with Owen.

"Clare, they'll be here in half an hour," Lucas calls through the door with a slightly nervous but excited voice.

"I'll be ready soon," I call back.

The reason he sounds nervous and excited is because our visitors this morning are Mia and Izzy. They were only in Toronto for the weekend, Mia was doing a shoot in New York and they were making a stop in Toronto for the weekend to see Lucas, Evelyn and me. I was excited to see Mia and it would be nice to speak with her about being pregnant and getting through it without a dad and just your friends. I dry my hair and go to my room to get dressed. It's January, snowing and around minus 20 so I can't just throw on a dress which is what I'd like to do. Instead I opt for dark purple jeans, wondering how much longer I'll be able to wear jeans as I slip them on. A long sleeve white shirt and a black sweater, then I brush my hair and I'm done I don't even want makeup on. I go downstairs just as the doorbell rings, Lucas opens it and Izzy comes in, Lucas picks her up and hugs her tightly.

"Hi Clare," Mia smiles embracing me as I reach the bottom step, I hug her back and look at Izzy, reminding myself that I can do this.

"Hey Mia, it's good to see you," I say and she looks at Lucas they sort of smile but don't embrace and then Evelyn comes out of the kitchen.

"Izzy do you remember Clare?" Mia asks.

Izzy looks at me, gets shy and kind of nods before looking at her grandma and then hugs Evelyn. "Grandma!" Izzy cries happily.

Evelyn greets them both and we go into the kitchen to have breakfast. Mia talks about Paris and her work, then Izzy talks about school and Lucas talks about work and going to the police academy. Izzy finishes her breakfast and asks to go watch cartoons in the living room and Lucas excuses her.

"How have you been feeling Clare?" Mia asks.

"Alright I guess, been having lost of morning sickness," I reply.

"I had terrible morning sickness too; it'll pass in a couple of months probably. All I ate was ginger ale and soda crackers for the first two months," Mia tells me.

"Yeah that's about all she eats too," Lucas nods.

"Did you set up your first prenatal?" Mia questions.

"Yeah it's next week, Owen's coming with me," I reply.

"I thought the dad wasn't involved?" Mia inquires.

"He's not; Drew…isn't even here right now. Owen is my boyfriend, my boyfriend now I mean, he asked me out after Drew dumped me," I say.

Mia smiles and we finish breakfast, after breakfast we go down to the harbor. Izzy wants to play in the snow and the ice skating rink is still up. While Lucas is playing with Izzy Mia and I sit and sip hot chocolate while watching them.

"Owen's not really your boyfriend is he?" Mia asks.

"No, he is a really good friend though and the whole fake dating thing was his idea to make Drew jealous," I confess.

"Was it working?" Mia queries.

"I don't know, Drew got real angry and then threw a potted plant through my mom's kitchen window and now he's out by Fort Frances. Owen says it was working and Adam seems to think Drew was jealous," I reply.

"And if it doesn't work? What's Owen going to do then?" Mia inquires.

"I don't know honestly, he says he'll be around no matter what but he's not ready to be a dad," I respond.

"I'd like to meet him; maybe he can come out tonight? Evelyn could watch Izzy and you, me; Lucas and Owen could go out and maybe we can ask Owen together. Stepping up is great but only if he's in all the way and if he's not he has to have a time to step out because Drew might not get jealous or realize what he wants and comes back," Mia advises.

"Yeah, I'll text Owen and see if he can meet us tonight," I tell her.

**Clare: Can you come out tonight?**

**Owen: Sure when and where?**

"Owen said he can meet us just needs to know when and where," I inform Mia.

"Good, tell him you'll get back to him and I'll talk to Lucas about it," Mia replies getting up to go talk to Lucas.

I send the text to Owen and he replies with cool. Honestly I'm a little afraid of how tonight's going to go.

**Update next Tuesday starting with Lucas, Owen, Mia and Clare's night out and including Clare's prenatal appointment and maybe a little Drew.**


	5. I'm Not Always on His Mind

**Guest reviewers check my profile page for responses.**

**Ch. 5 I'm Not Always on His Mind**

**(OWEN)**

"I'm going out with Clare and a couple of friends tonight, I'll be home by curfew," I tell my parents as I get ready to leave.

"Be safe honey and say hi to Clare for us," Mom says as I'm going through the door.

I call that I will and lock the door, as I get in my car and start driving it occurs to me that my parents are going to be kind of disappointed when I tell them Clare went back to Drew. They've grown quite fond of her but we'll stay friends, assuming Drew doesn't kill me for the whole fake dating thing. Lucas, Mia and Clare are all coming together so I'll see them at the restaurant. We're meeting at Terroni, it's Clare's favorite and she's the pregnant one.

"Hey Owen do you remember Mia?" Lucas asks when we I get to the table.

"Yeah of course, hard to forget the DeGrassi student that became a model," I reply shaking her hand, "good to see you."

"You too, I've been hearing a lot about you from Lucas and Clare," Mia says. A waiter comes; we order drinks and look at the menu. "Everything on the menu is like 1000 calories," Mia complains after looking at the menu a minute.

"You can afford them," Lucas chides.

"Not with my job I can't, I think I'll just get the roasted vegetable salad with dressing on the side. What are you getting Lucas?" She asks him.

"Lasagna and big thing of garlic bread," he replies.

"I think I'll get the tortellini with pesto and salad, how about you Clare?" I question.

"Breadsticks," she sighs taking a crunchy breadstick from the basket on the table.

"That's not dinner," I scold her.

"I'm just not that hungry," she sighs.

"At least get some vegetable soup or something, you and the baby cannot survive on breadsticks," I persist.

"Fine a cup," she gives in.

The waiter comes over and gets our order then I talk to Mia a little about Paris and being a model. When our food does come we eat mostly in silence, only making a little small talk. Clare does eat her whole cup of soup and a few breadsticks, even a few bites of my tortellini when I offer it to her.

"Why don't we go to the Break Room and shoot some pool?" Mia suggests when we're done eating.

"Yeah sounds good," I nod.

"Yeah I haven't played pool in a while," Clare says.

"You want to ride with me?" I offer to Clare and she nods.

We all bundle up to go outside again since it's minus 23 outside. I unlock the doors and Clare gets in the passenger seat. I follow Lucas and Mia to the Break Room and Clare is silent the whole way. We park and get out; we're walking in when Clare starts to slip on the ice. I run over and catch her before she hits the ground, I help her to straighten and walk in holding her arm so she doesn't fall again. There isn't a free table right now so we order drinks and dessert then sit down.

"So Owen Clare told me that you're not really dating and the whole thing is a ploy to try and get her boyfriend to step up and be the dad," Mia remarks she doesn't sound mad or anything but there's an edge of something in her voice that makes me nervous.

"Uh yeah but I'm not taking advantage of her or anything, we hardly touch at all, just a c…"

"Owen relax," Mia smiles cutting me off, "that's not what this is about. I get why you're doing it and hopefully Drew will come around but what if he doesn't? Have you thought about that? Being around for Clare right now is great but what if Drew doesn't come around? What if he never takes responsibility? Are you prepared to? A baby is a huge responsibility and it's not going to do Clare any good if you're here for her now and not after the baby is born," Mia tells me.

Honestly I never really thought about what would happen if Drew didn't step up and take responsibility. I just always assumed he would, or at least would be made too, even though I know Clare doesn't want him to be forced into it.

"Well I mean I'm not going to marry her or anything, Clare's great but we're just friends I don't even think of her that way, but I'm also not going to abandon her. I'll always be there for her, that means now and after the baby whether Drew steps up or not," I assure all of them.

"Good that's all I wanted to hear," Mia smiles and Clare leans over kissing my cheek.

"Of course Clare won't be able to hide the pregnancy forever, eventually Adam and the others will find out. When Audra finds out she's going to force Drew to be involved," I comment.

"Yeah I know but I don't want him to be forced, if Drew gets forced then he's just going to hate me. Hate me more than he does now, and resent me and the baby," Clare laments.

"Why don't you worry about that when and if it happens," Mia tells her and Clare nods.

A table opens up and we grab it, we play pool about two hours and then Clare starts getting tired so we call it a night.

"Mia and Izzy are leaving tomorrow night, my mom's making a goodbye dinner for them you should come," Lucas tells me when we get ready to leave.

"Yeah sure, see you guys tomorrow," I smile hugging Clare and Mia then shaking hands with Lucas.

With the roads and traffic it takes me over half an hour to get home, Tris and his friends are watching a movie in the living room when I get in.

"You're home early," Tris says with a shocked tone like he can't believe I'm home before midnight, not that I can blame him.

"Is Clare okay?" Maya asks.

"Huh? Oh yeah she's fine she was just tired I'm going over for dinner tomorrow night. I'll be in my room," I comment and head to my room.

I watch TV for a long time but I'm not really paying attention, everything Mia said today is on my mind. Honestly I expected Drew to step up by now, of course he's been sent away and won't be back for six more weeks, hopefully he'll be ready by then but what if he's not? I'm not in love with Clare, not sure that I could ever be, to me she'll probably always be Drew's girl. I'm just not sure I could ever see her as anything but my best friend's girl. So what if he doesn't come around? I'm certain that Clare won't be alone; she'll have Lucas and his mom. When Adam and his parents find out she'll have them too and at the very least they'll help her financially and all, and she'll have me, as a friend but I'm not ready for a kid and I couldn't raise Drew's kid.

It all keeps me awake late into the night and I finally asleep around 4am, then I wake up a little after noon the next day. My family is gone so I make lunch and just watch TV until Clare calls and tells me dinner is at five which is an hour from now, so I take a shower and get ready to leave. Tris already told my parents I was going over for dinner so they aren't surprised when I wave to them as I'm going through the door. It's a quick drive to Luca's place and I park out front.

"Hey," Clare smiles opening the door after I knock. She steps aside so that I can come in and closes the door behind me. I hear everyone else in the kitchen and I start to go that way but Clare grabs my arm, "Sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to ambush you. It was Mia's idea but I should have warned you. I never expected you to be the dad if Drew never comes round and I kn…" she starts to ramble anxiously so I put my fingers on her lips to stop her.

"You talk too much. It's fine Clare, I mean the whole fake relationship deal to make Drew jealous was my idea. I proposed it without really thinking it through but it doesn't change anything. You know I'll be around and here for you and the baby, if you keep it," I tell her.

"I know, she smiles, "come on they're all in the kitchen." She tells me and I take off my jacket hanging it by the door then follow Clare into the kitchen. "Izzy this is my friend Owen," Clare says to a little girl that looks strikingly like Mia.

"Hi," Izzy smiles.

"Hi Izzy," I grin.

I greet Evelyn, Lucas and Mia then we all sit down. Izzy spends a while telling me about her weekend and how much she misses her dad at which point Lucas looks a little sheepish and very regretful. Clare stops eating about a ¼ of the way through her very small plate and I look at her.

"Not feeling so hot," she says pushing her plate away and leaning back in her chair.

"Are you getting sick?" Lucas asks.

"It's probably just morning sickness," Mia disagrees.

"It's not morning," Lucas points out.

"They just call it morning sickness because it happens most often in the morning Lucas, it can come on at any time of day," Evelyn tells him.

"Excuse me," Clare says getting up and running upstairs.

"Guess it was morning sickness, I hope it stops soon she isn't eating much and what she does eat seems to come back up," I comment.

"It usually stops by the second trimester, it did for me. The second trimester is the best in terms of how she'll feel probably, more energy and able to eat. She'll also get umm…" Mia pauses looking at Izzy.

"There will be a lot of hormones raging around," Evelyn says and both Lucas and I pinch our eyebrows together in confusion.

"She'll have certain carnal needs," Mia explains.

"Oh," I nod and then it sinks in that she just said Clare will be horny! "Oh, yeah uh…let's hope Drew's come around by then." I remark nervously, don't get me wrong I'd be more than happy to get her off but like I said she's always going to be Drew's girl and that might get a little weird.

"The third trimester will be pretty hard probably, especially as she starts getting bigger. For me nights were the worst, I could barely sleep and it was hard to get comfortable. I had to pee every five minutes, constantly had heart burn and sometime I'd start to fall asleep and Izzy would wake up and start moving around and doing summersaults. My mom waited up with me a lot of nights and a neighbor stayed with me," Mia informs us.

"I work most nights I can't stay up with her and Mom has to leave for work so early," Lucas remarks.

"No one has to stay up with me, I'll be okay," Clare says coming back in the kitchen.

"Yeah they do and if Drew hasn't stepped up by then I'll stay over," I assert in a firm voice so that no one tries to argue. Of course Clare's as stubborn as they come.

"That's sweet Owen but you ca…"

"Yes I can and I will and don't argue with me again," I tell her firmly and Izzy giggles.

Clare sits with us and doesn't throw up a gain and even eats a little dessert, a very little. She does start to look a little nauseas again though but she doesn't run from the table again.

"We better get going, we've got an early flight," Mia says after dinner. "It was nice to see you again Owen and being there for Clare is important."

"It was nice to see you again too, and to meet you Izzy," I smile and she smiles back at me.

"I'll be calling and e-mail me any time you need to," Mia tells Clare.

"I will thanks Mia," Clare smiles hugging her.

Everyone else says their goodbyes and then Lucas walks Mia and Izzy out to their car. I thank Evelyn for dinner, tell Clare I'll see her at school tomorrow and wave to Lucas as he's coming back in, then I drive home.

**(CLARE)**

"So what are we doing for your birthday?" Adam asks when he gets to his locker.

"When's your birthday?" Owen questions, he's leaning against the locker next to mine doing his best to appear like my boyfriend.

"Thursday," Adam tells him and looks back at me, "so what are we doing?"

"I don't know Adam, I don't really feel much like doing anything," I tell him.

"Come on Clare, I know you broke up with Drew but that doesn't mean you don't celebrate your birthday, right Owen?" Adam says.

"Huh?" Owen asks not really paying attention.

"You're the new boyfriend aren't you going to help her celebrate?" Adam questions.

"Yeah of course we'll have a party," Owen says and I give him a look, "a small one at my house. We can have it Saturday, the three of us and Eli I guess. You don't really have any girlfriends do you?" Owen asks.

"Just Bianca since Alli got sent to boarding school and Jenna moved away, and with Mia's back in Paris," I reply.

"Well they aren't girls but there's K.C. and Connor, Liam maybe," Adam adds.

"Dallas and Luke, maybe Becky, plus Tris and his friends and Lucas, Adam and I can plan it you just be at my house on Saturday," Owen tells me.

"Fine just don't let it get out of hand," I request.

"Hey you can trust me," Owen says with just a slightly evil grin.

"Yeah sure," I laugh taking off my coat stash it in my locker.

"What happened to your arm?!" Adam exclaims and Owen looks over.

I look at my forearm, where Adam was looking just a second ago, to see a large bruise from hitting it last night. "I got up to use the washroom last night and I tripped hitting my arm on the washroom sink," I explain as Owen looks at my arm gives me a concerned look.

"I have to get books come with me Clare," Owen says putting an arm around my shoulders to indicate that I have no choice.

"See you in class Adam," I tell him and he nods.

We go around the corner but instead of going to Owen's locker we go into the memorial garden. Tori is in there with Zig but Owen fixes this by telling them to leave and they rush out.

"Tripped or passed out?" Owen asks when we're alone.

"Passed out after throwing up," I confess.

"Maybe I should start sleeping over now," he comments.

"What? Owen no my body is making another life there's just a lot going on. Anyway I have my appointment at lunch," I remind him.

"Yeah which I'm taking you to and if the doctor doesn't think this is normal then I'm sleeping over," Owen asserts.

"Fine but I have to get to class now," I remark as the bell rings.

Owen walks me to class and says he'll see me next period; I sit at my desk and get out my book.

"Drew called last night," Adam tells me.

Drew has now been at Horizon for three and half weeks. He calls home about once a week and writes to Adam two or three times a week. He hasn't called or written to me at all, but I guess I am the reason he's there.

"How is he?" I question while opening my book.

"He sounded pretty good, he says he likes the rock climbing and they play football. He likes the hikes and camping the best," Adam tells me.

"Camping? In this weather?"

"Yeah Drew always loved camping, even when we were little," Adam smiles probably remembering some family camping trip from days past.

I want to ask if Drew asked about me but I know if he had Adam would have said something. Mrs. Dawes calls the class to attention and I do my best to put Drew out of my mind. After class Adam and I go to our lockers and sit on the steps until it's time to go to parenting class. We don't do much in class other than discuss family lifestyles and the decision to have kids. When the bell rings it's lunch, I say goodbye to Adam, follow Owen out to his car and he drives the couple of blocks to the clinic where I have my first prenatal appointment. I had no idea how to choose an OB/GYN so I just made an appointment at the Riverdale Medical Clinic. I'm given some papers to fill out and I sit in the waiting area next to Owen to fill them out.

"It's asking for the father's health history and family history," I tell Owen after filling out the mother's history.

"You could call Adam," Owen says.

"Then he'd want to know why I was asking," I point out.

"So just leave it blank," Owen tells me.

I fill out as much information as I can and give the forms to the nurse. She puts it in a folder with my name and gets up. "Come with me," she says walking down the hall so I wave to Owen, he grabs my purse and follows me back. "Put on the gown and the doctor will be with you shortly," the nurse says and then closes the door as she leaves.

Owen turns around looking at the wall but when he turns around to see a close up poster of a uterus with a fetus inside he goes red in the cheeks. He shuts his eyes tight, covers them and sits in a chair. I smile at the fact that he's being a gentleman and start undressing, I leave my bra on but everything else comes off.

"You can look now," I tell Owen after putting on the gown.

He uncovers his eyes and looks at me as I get on the exam table, we're silent for a few minutes and then Owen gets up. He starts pacing the room and looking in the cabinets, "What are these?" He inquires looking at the metal stirrups at the end of the exam table.

"Those are stirrups, I put my feet in them and they spread my legs so the doctor can see into m…"

"Ok got it," Owen says quickly as he cheeks go a little red again.

When there's a knock at the door Owen opens it and a male doctor comes in! I hadn't given any thought to the fact that my doctor might be male, he seems fairly young too. I bite my lip and suddenly feel very self-conscious and embarrassed.

"Hello I'm doctor Burns," the doctor says shaking Owen's hand and then mine.

"Hi," Owen and I say at the same time.

"You must be Clare but I don't see any information on the father," Dr. Burns comments looking at my file.

"Owen isn't the father; Owen is just a very good friend. The father isn't involved…yet but I'm hoping he will be," I explain.

"Oh I see, well lots of women raise children on their own," the doctor remarks but he does it in slightly condescending tone. I'm certain he thinks I'm some slut or I got pregnant at some drunken party, I see Owen tense up just a little when the doctor says this. "First I'm going to draw some blood," the doctor tells us getting a tray with two vials and a needle on it.

"Why?" Owen queries as the doctor starts preparing me to have my blood drawn.

"We have to test for a number of things, HIV for example," he replies.

"I don't have HIV, I've only ever had sex with the father," I reply getting a little angry.

"None the less we need to test for it as well as varicella and a few other things and do a hemoglobin screening," he says inserting the needle and I look away. The doctor draws both vials and then takes off his gloves and starts putting on clean ones. "Alright Clare please lay back on the table and put your feet on the stirrups I need to do a pap smear, cervical exam and a cervical culture."

I lay back putting my heels in the stirrups and scooting down on the table. Owen's cheeks go red again and he turns around making me giggle. "Why don't you just stand by my head and look at the wall behind me," I advise him so he does.

I've always hated pelvic exams, even from my female gynecologist; I always found them embarrassing and an intrusion. The doctor is doing things between my legs but I can't see what. The next thing I feel is a speculum going into me and I cringe, when it gets opened I gasp and take Owen's hand. He squeezes my hand but doesn't look. It's not painful exactly just terribly uncomfortable, then I feel something scraping and I know he's getting the pap smear or the cervical culture. I cringe again, biting my lip, this is so uncomfortable and feels sort of violating, Owen squeezes my hand tighter. Then I feel something else go into me and more pressure as he gets another sample. I think that he's done but now his fingers go into me and I whimper.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Owen asks angrily.

"It's all part of the exam Owen, it's only uncomfortable for a moment," Doctor Burns replies. "Relax Clare you're too tense and I can't properly examine your cervix," he says to me.

"_I'm tense because you have two fingers shoved all the way into me between the speculum and it's incredibly uncomfortable!" _I think but force myself to release a breath and my muscles relax a little.

Finally the doctor removes his fingers and then the speculum and I finally relax releasing Owen's hand. Dr. Burns tells me everything is fine and then spends the next hour giving me instructions or recommendations on everything from dental visits and diet to environmental hazards and miscarriage precautions.

"Okay you can go now unless you have questions or concerns we need to address," Dr. Burns comments when he's done talking.

"Yeah she's been getting nauseas, throwing up and passing out a lot and I'm worried," Owen tells him.

"Not to worry son that's all perfectly normal especially for the first trimester, you have to understand her body is building a baby with nothing but cells. It takes a lot especially in the beginning. Her morning sickness should dissipate in a few weeks, usually by the second trimester. The fainting will stop soon and when the morning sickness stops she'll get her appetite back. The baby will take what it needs from the mother to survive," Dr. Burns tells Owen.

"Fine but what about Clare? If she's not eating and the baby is taking what it needs what happens to her?" Owen inquires.

"Just make sure she's eating as much as she can, anything else?" Dr. Burns questions and I shake my head. "Alright then make an appointment with the front desk and you can call the clinic if you have questions," he says and leaves.

"We need to find you another doctor I don't like him and I don't think he knows what he's doing," Owen comments when the doctor is out of the room.

"He just doesn't have a very good bedside manner, he seems young I think he's pretty new at this," I point out.

"Yeah like that makes me feel any better," Owen responds.

"It's a clinic Owen I see whatever doctor is here at the time," I tell him.

"Okay why don't you get dressed and I'll go make you an appointment and I'll make sure he's not on duty for your next one," Owen offers.

"Okay thanks Owen," I smile.

He grins back and leaves the room; I take off the gown and get dressed again then grab my purse. When I get out to the waiting room Owen is already outside so I go out to him and we get in his car.

"I made you an appointment for March 5th and Dr. Burns isn't on duty, it's a female doctor but I forget her name. The appointment's at three but it's a Saturday so I can go with you," Owen informs me as we start driving back to DeGrassi.

"Thanks Owen, that's just six days before Drew gets home," I sigh and Owen puts a hand on my shoulder.

We drive back to school in silence and barely make it before the bell for last period. I slip into my desk slightly out of breath because I was running down the hall.

"You and Owen sneak away for a nooner?" Dallas snickers when I sit down and I smack him in the back of the head.

Dallas opens his mouth but Mr. Perino starts his lecture and Dallas shuts his mouth. When the bell rings and I stand after sitting so long I get a shooting pain inside. Although considering everything that's been inserted and poked into me today it's not so surprising. Bending over to get my backpack hurts a little but when I straighten the pain gets even worse. I bite my lip trying to stifle the painful cry but I whimper and inadvertently grab Dallas' jacket since he's next to me.

"Clare?" He asks tuning and putting a hand on my back.

"I'm okay, it's just a cramp," I tell him trying to let go of his jacket but I'm in too much pain and my fingers won't uncurl.

"You don't look okay, Becky go find Owen," Dallas instructs and I hear Becky leaving as Dallas helps me sit on the desk.

I'm still uncomfortable but the pain has diminished and I release Dallas' jacket. "I'm okay really, I got a cramp that was all," I tell him exhaling a breath as the pain starts to dissipate.

"Must have been one painful cramp," Dallas comments just as I hear running and I know Owen's coming.

"What happened?" He asks coming over with Becky and Bianca following.

"I stood up and got a cramp, I'm okay now and I'm sure Lucas is waiting to take me home," I tell him.

"Shit I didn't feed you at lunch, you need to eat," Owen says helping me to stand.

"So what were you two doing at lunch?" Dallas questions with a smirk.

"None of your damn business," Owen snaps at him, "let's get you out to Lucas and I'm going to make sure he feeds you. I'll come over after practice to check on you."

"That's not necessary," I tell him as we start walking out of school, Owen is carrying my backpack, his and my coat.

"I'm still coming," he tells me stopping just before the door to put my coat on me.

"Don't try and argue Clare in fact I'm going with you, I'll hang out for a while," Bianca says and I feel Owen relax. Since everyone is around he kisses me when we reach Lucas' car and I get in. "Hey Lucas I'm going to follow you to your place," Bianca tells him as the Ice Hounds and Becky start walking away.

"Uh okay," Lucas shrugs.

After Lucas starts driving he asks if everything is okay and I tell him what happened. He tells me to lie down when I get home and he'll get me some food. The funny thing is I don't feel hungry. Bianca comes upstairs to my room when we get home and Lucas goes into the kitchen.

"You sure you're okay? You think something's wrong?" Bianca questions when we're alone in my room.

"I think I had my first prenatal today and I had a speculum in me, the doctors fingers, a pas smear and got my cervix scraped for a culture so now it hurts in there. The doctor wasn't exactly gentle and Owen got mad at him but he made sure my next appointment was with someone else," I tell Bianca.

"Well at least Owen took care of it, surprised he didn't punch the doctor though. Sounds like you just need to rest. I'm gonna use the washroom, be right back don't go anywhere," she says going out of the room.

I hear the washroom door close and then my cell rings; I grab my purse from the edge of the bed where I dropped it. I don't recognize the number on the display but it's an 807 area code.

"Hello?" I'm greeted by silence and light breathing. "Drew?" As soon as his name leaves my lips there's a dial tone.

**Update next Tuesday with Clare's birthday and her party.**


	6. I Just Want to be with Him

**Tonight's episode was so frustrating and next week just…ugh! Stupid writers! Anyway I hope you enjoy tonight's chapter.**

**Ch. 6 I just Want to be with Him**

**(OWEN)**

"Everything's all set for Clare's party on Saturday, your father and I will stay out late but you're in charge. That means no alcohol, you clean up and you look out for your brother and the younger kids," Mom tells me over breakfast on Thursday morning.

"I know ma, it'll be a small party anyway," I tell her, _"And Clare can't drink right now," _I add silently. "Tris let's go we're going to be late," I call to my brother.

"What's the hurry? School doesn't start for 45 minutes," Tris gripes coming out with his backpack.

"Yeah but it's Clare's birthday today and I want to stop to get her flowers on the way," I tell him and Mom smiles at me.

"Wish Clare happy birthday and have a good day kids," Mom says as we leave.

I make a quick stop at the flower shop on the way to school, since everyone thinks we're dating and only Bianca and Lucas know it's a con, I get seventeen roses since Clare is turning seventeen today. Eight red, eight white and one pink rose, I don't get a card though because I don't know what to say. The lady wraps them for me the way I ask her too and I drive to school. Tris goes off to find his friends and I go to Clare's locker where I find Adam decorating with streamers and a birthday banner.

"Here, add this," I tell him handing him the pink rose.

"Nice," Adam grins taking the rose and taping it to the center.

"You heard from Drew?" I ask him.

"I find it funny that you're so curious about my brother given that you started dating Clare a day after they broke up," Adam comments as he finishes decorating her locker.

"Hey Drew's still my friend," I respond and Adam gives me a look. "He is, I just have a crush on Clare and asked her out." I lie, gotta keep up the act.

"He called last night; he told me to wish Clare a happy birthday and then told me not to. He's still pretty mixed up but he's not so angry, least I don't think so. He did say he tried to call her but chickened out and hung up," Adam informs me as he stuffs the leftover decorations in his locker.

"_Well that's a good sign, he's been there a month now I hope it's working," _I muse in my mind as Adam closes his locker. "I think I'll put the white one's on her desk in homeroom and give her the red one's when she gets here," I tell Adam.

"Good plan, need me to show you which desk is hers?" He asks me and I nod.

Adam has homeroom with her and he shows me which one is her desk so I put the flowers on it. Then we both go out front and wait on the steps for Lucas to drop her off. They pull up a few minutes later, she smiles when she sees us and hugs Lucas goodbye. I wave to him as he drives off and she walks over to us.

"Happy birthday Clare," Adam says hugging her.

"Thanks Adam," she grins and then looks at me or at least the flowers in my arms.

"Happy birthday Babe," I say handing her the flowers and she twists her mouth at me for calling her babe. She takes the flowers, hugs me with one arm and I give her a quick kiss since people are watching. She says thanks, I put my arm around her and we walk inside headed for her locker. "So Bianca's coming to the game tomorrow night and I thought you might want to go with her and watch me play. Assuming I get some ice time," I remark.

"Of course I'll come" she replies as we round the corner and her locker comes into view. "Thanks Adam," she says kissing his cheek for the decorations. "And you too," she gives me an actual kiss since people are watching again.

I take her flowers back so she can open her locker and she starts getting out books. "Did you eat this morning? You look kind of pale," I remark looking her over carefully and when I say it Adam starts looking her over too.

"I ate, Evelyn made me oatmeal, I'm just tired this morning," she says. When she has her books I take her backpack for her and give her the flowers back. We start walking for the memorial garden when Clare suddenly goes a little green. "I have to use the washroom," she says suddenly handing me her flowers.

"She looked kind of sick," Adam comments as Clare rushes off for the washroom.

"Must be the oatmeal," I reply because I don't know what else to tell him.

Clare rejoins us a few minutes later, she doesn't look green anymore but she still looks pale. I put my arm around her and she takes back her flowers, we walk to the memorial garden, Clare sits between me and Adam, kicking her feet off the bench and looking at her shoes. I tell her that everything is set for her party on Saturday and she smiles. When the bells about to ring I walk with them to their writers craft class.

"More flowers?" Clare grins, she pulls me down to kiss me again, because it's the thing to do but hey I'm not complaining. "Thanks Owen, now how am I going to carry all these?" She laughs.

"I'm sure we can get some ribbon and tie them all together, then I can attach them to the front of your backpack," Adam tells her and she smiles.

She grins and I leave her at class telling her I'll see her in parenting next period. My homeroom is exercise science which I have with Dallas who starts telling me about his hot study date with Bianca last night. When the bell rings at the end of class I walk to parenting and find Clare and Adam already there. This week is all about teen pregnancy and it's been hard on Clare all week but I've made sure she also works with me all week. At least class isn't so bad today and Becky keeps saying I'm a great boyfriend for getting Clare all the roses. I eat lunch with Clare and Adam, after lunch we all have a spare so we stay at the Dot, when Clare goes to the washroom Adam looks at me.

"I feel kind of weird telling you this seeing as you're dating her now but I found the birthday present Drew bought for Clare. He bought it the same day they broke up and I don't know whether I should give it to her or not," Adam tells me.

"Well what did he get her?" I inquire.

"A ring, not an engagement ring or anything, it was supposed to replace her chastity ring. It's like a promise ring I guess, it's white gold with two hearts in the center, one with her birthstone, one with his and on the inside he had it engraved," Adam informs me.

"I think you should wait and not say anything," I tell him. What I don't tell him is that I'm hoping Drew comes back and gives it to her himself.

**(CLARE)**

"Never been to a hockey game before," I tell Bianca as we find our seats at tonight's game.

"They're more violent and faster paced than a football game," she tells me.

Owen had dinner at Lucas' house last night to celebrate my birthday. He's been really great for all of this and I don't know what I'd do without him. I'd been feeling relatively good today but I hadn't eaten much so Bianca made me get popcorn and a soda before we sat down. I see Maya and Tris sitting a few rows away and wave to them. While waiting for the game to start Bianca fills the silence by telling me about the first time she met Owen and Fitz. Then music starts and the teams skate out, we wave to Cam, Luke, Dallas and of course Owen. After the opposing team skates out the national anthem plays with some boy from U of T singing, and then the game starts. Owen doesn't play at all the first period but he does play for all of second period, because coach pulled Luke out after he was in the penalty box for fighting. The Ice Hounds wind 7-4, the team starts celebrating on the ice while Bianca and I, and all the Ice Hound fans cheer and clap.

"The guys are going out and we're invited as we're dating two of the team," Bianca tells me as we start making our way out of the arena.

"But Owen and I aren't really dating," I remind her in a whisper.

"Yes but the team doesn't know that and Drew's been calling every other night and Dallas says he always asks about you. So the more Dallas and Adam have to tell him about you and Owen, the more jealous Drew will get. Anyway I drove you and I say you're coming with me," Bianca says linking her arm through mine and I smile.

We walk out to her car and she drives us to Little Miss Steaks, we sit at the bar while waiting for the team. Bianca gets a root beer float and I get a milk shake, Owen and Dallas are the first two through the door. Dallas and Bianca give each other a kiss hello but they don't break apart so it's really more like making out. No one else is here yet so I don't kiss Owen, he helps me off the stool and we go to the back of the restaurant, I sit on the bench and Owen starts pushing tables together. Eventually Bianca and Dallas join us and within a few minutes the rest of the team comes in. Dallas orders pizzas and sodas, a few puck bunnies filter in to sit and flirt with the team. Owen tries to get me to eat a piece of pizza but I'm not hungry since the milkshake filled me up. I get up and go to the washroom while Owen's still eating and when I return to the table there's a puck bunny in my seat flirting with Luke.

"You're in my seat," I speak up but she ignores me.

"Just sit in your boyfriends lap Clare," Dallas says with a grin.

I bite my lip and look at Owen nervously, he just smiles scooting his chair back so I can sit down. I gingerly perch in his lap leaning back against his chest while he finishes his pizza, everyone is talking loudly and there are about seven different conversations happening, I can't really make out any of them and I'm not really interested anyway. Soon I find that really quite fatigued and I lay my head on Owen's shoulder.

"You okay?" Owen asks in a low voice.

"Fine, just really tired," I reply.

"Come on I'll take you home," he says pushing on my lower back gently to indicate that I should get off his lap but I shake my head.

"No I don't want to ruin your celebration, I can take a cab," I tell him.

"Yeah like that's going to happen," he says softly and then I feel him lift his head a little to speak to the rest of the table. "Hey I have to get Clare home, see some of you tomorrow," Owen tells them and when I don't move off his lap he simply stands while holding me in his arms. I gasp throwing my arms around his neck at the swift movement.

He sets me down after taking a couple steps from the table; I feel suddenly extremely dizzy and grip his jacket. He holds me and keeps me from falling, the dizzy sensation passes after a minute but I keep hold of his jacket to walk out to his car and he keeps his arm around me. I get out to his car just fine but he doesn't let go of me until I'm in the passenger seat. He starts driving and I drift off to sleep, I don't wake up until I feel him lifting me up again.

"You don't have to carry me," I tell him.

"It's fine you're tired and anyway my walkway is slippery with all the ice," Owen says.

"You're walkway?" I question opening my eyes.

"You look kind of pale and I know Lucas is working tonight so I'm keeping you here tonight, you would have been over for the party tomorrow night anyway," Owen remarks as he manages to hold me and unlock his door at the same time.

He sets me down once we're inside, Tris and Maya are watching TV in the living room and I smile at them as Owen locks his front door.

"He didn't want me slipping on the ice," I explain since they're giving me a look because he carried me in.

"Aww," Maya says as Owen puts a hand on my shoulder and starts walking me back to his room.

"Are you sure it's okay with your parents if I stay the night?" I ask when we get into his room.

"Yeah," he grins, "they won't mind at all. You can call Lucas in the morning and have him bring you clothes for the party. You want one of my shirts to sleep in?"

"Uh yeah thanks," I nod.

Owen goes to his dresser and pulls out a dark blue t-shirt handing it to me. I change in the washroom and use some mouthwash since I can't brush my teeth.

"You take my bed, I'll sleep on the floor," Owen says unrolling a sleeping bag over a twin size futon on the floor by his bed.

"No I'm not taking your bed the sofa is fine, or I'll sleep on the floor," I argue.

"No you'll take my bed, for one thing, you're pregnant, for another you're the guest and I dragged you hear 'cause I didn't want you at Lucas' place since he's working tonight. The floor is fine and my family thinks we're dating remember? They expect us to sleep in the same room. I'm going to brush my teeth be right back," Owen tells me leaving his room for the washroom.

I decide that arguing with him is fruitless and if I try to just go to sleep on the floor he'll likely just pick me up and put me in his bed. So I give up and lay down in his bed, his bed is permeated with his scent, which smells a lot like Drew since they both use the same deodorant and it's very comforting. His sheets are cool, the blankets warm and I fall asleep before Owen comes back from the washroom. I wake up the next morning to the smell of vanilla and cinnamon, Owen's mom must be making waffles or pancakes. I'm surprisingly hungry; I haven't been hungry first thing in the morning in over two months. Owen smells it too as he sits up and grins at me, his short hair only slightly mussed from sleeping while I'm sure my curls are disaster.

"Morning," I yawn.

"Morning," he grins standing up and I see that he's wearing nothing but boxers. Owen is very buff and sculpted; I can't help but bite my lip and then thinking of Drew I look away. "I'll get dressed in the washroom and let you change, smells like Mom has breakfast so just go out to the kitchen when you're ready," he says grabbing some clothes from the closet and leaving the room.

I find my clothes from yesterday and put them back on; when Owen leaves the washroom I go in to fix my hair a little.

"Good morning Clare," Lydia smiles at me.

"Morning, it smells good," I reply.

"I made waffles, sit down I'll make you a plate," Lydia tells me.

I sit next to Owen and his mom gives me two waffles with warm syrup and melting butter. I eat the whole thing and even manage to keep it down; on the other hand I don't eat lunch because I'm not hungry. After breakfast I text Bianca and Lucas, I ask Bianca to go to Lucas' house and grab something for me to wear at the party and get my makeup bag and hairbrush then I text Lucas to let him know that Bianca is coming. I spend the day just relaxing with Owen, Tris and Maya; we watch a few movies and just kick back until about five when the others start decorating for my birthday. Owen won't let me help, he tells the others it's because it's my birthday and I shouldn't be doing anything but I think it's because I'm pregnant and he's worried. Owen's parents leave after the house is decorated and leave Owen some money to order pizza. Dallas and Bianca arrive first. Bianca has a bag and I go into the washroom to change and get ready, when I come out Eli is there with Adam.

"Happy birthday," Eli grins hugging me and putting my gift on the table.

Adam does the same and they step into the house greeting the others. I sit on the sofa with them as more guests arrive, Tori and Zig come first, then Connor, Dave and K.C., Becky and Luke come together and Lucas is the last to arrive.

"Hey look who I found on my way here," Lucas says walking in and I look back to see Spinner and Jay follow him in.

"Hey guys," I smile getting up from the sofa to see them.

"Hey Jay, and Spinner wasn't it?" Owen asks shaking their hands.

"Yeah," Spinner nods.

"You didn't tell them did you?" I ask Lucas in a whisper as I hug him.

"No figured you'd tell them if you wanted them to know, didn't even tell them you were living with me," he whispers back.

"Hey Spin," I smile hugging him, "how's Emma?"

"She's good, she's at home I came in to pick up some stuff from my mom's house," Spin tells me.

After hugging Spinner I hug Jay and then decide I better introduce them to everyone else. "Guys this is Spinner and Jay, those are my best friends Eli and Adam, that's Owen's brother Tris and that's Maya, Tori and Zig. Those are my friends Connor, Dave, K.C., Bianca, Dallas, Luke and Becky."

Spinner and Jay say hey, they start to mingle and I sit with Eli and Adam again. Since everyone's here he calls in a pizza order and while we're waiting for pizza I open my gifts. I get a lot of gift cards, Adam gives me a new journal and a signed copy of my favorite book, Eli gives me a gift card for the bookstore and a box of my favorite chocolates. A few people give me money which will be helpful after the baby is born. When I'm done opening gifts the pizza is here and people start taking pieces and eating, I'm not really hungry but I figure if I don't start eating people will think it's odd so I take a piece of cheese pizza and start nibbling at it slowly, everyone is talking, Bianca, Owen, Dallas, Lucas, Jay, Luke and Spinner are all talking. Eli and Adam are talking and I'm sort of paying attention. Connor, Dave and K.C. are all talking in one corner, Tris and his friends in another with Becky. Everyone is having a good time; I am too but keep wishing that Drew was here. Eli and Adam are talking about Dead Hand and I excuse myself to go get a drink.

"You okay?" Adam asks following me to the breakfast counter where the sodas are.

"Yeah I'm fine," I tell him but he twists his mouth at me because he knows me better than that. I take his sleeve and pull him down the hall, "I'm just missing Drew I guess, I feel like he should be here."

"You want to call him?" Adam offers.

"No he doesn't want to talk to me, besides Owen probably wouldn't be too happy," I lie. Actually Owen would be happy and wouldn't mind one bit because we're not really dating. Truth is I'm scared to talk to Drew, I don't want him to be angry still and I think he needs more time to heal.

Adam gives me a sympathetic smile and hugs me. I get a soda and we sit on the sofa with Eli again. Tori and the younger kids leave at 11, including Tris who is sleeping at Maya's house. Everyone else stays until Owen's parents come back, I thank them for the party, gather my things with some help and kiss Owen goodbye since everyone is here. Lucas, Jay and Spin help me take stuff out to Lucas' car and load it in, I hug them goodbye and Lucas starts driving us home.

"So did you have a good birthday?" Lucas asks me.

"Yeah it was a nice birthday, I do wish that Drew was there though," I admit.

"I'm sure he'll make up for it when he comes back," Lucas says putting a hand on my shoulder, I smile and he drives us home. "We'll leave everything in the car and I'll grab it in the morning," Lucas tells me when he parks in the driveway.

Not wanting to carry anything in either I agree it can all stay in the car, the gift cards and cash are all in my purse anyway. Lucas unlocks the door and we go in quietly since Evelyn is asleep, Lucas goes into his room so I go into the washroom first to brush my teeth and wash my face. In the middle of brushing my teeth however I start feeling funny, my heart starts pounding, not beating fast just hard, like it's trying extra vigorously to pump blood. I get sort of dizzy, more like light headed, gripping the side of the sink as I drop my toothbrush in the sink and take a couple of deep breaths but it doesn't pass. Rinsing my toothbrush I drop it in the holder and go into my room. I'm still not feeling great but it's not really concerning, there's so much going on in my body there are bound to be times when I feel off. I get undressed and slip on a nightie practically falling into bed and drifting to asleep.

**(OWEN)**

"So Drew's home next week," Dallas remarks when I get to my locker.

"Yeah I know next Friday, can't believe he's been there almost too months already," I remark but it feels like he's been gone longer, maybe because Clare talks about him every day and it breaks my heart how much she misses him. "You think he's better? I mean he's not going to come back angry still?" I ask him.

"He doesn't sound angry on the phone, he asks about Clare too, kind of a lot, he uh might try and get back together with her," Dallas warns me and I only shrug. "You mean you're not worried?" Dallas asks.

"I knew she was still in love with Drew when I asked her out, not going to stand in their way," I reply, Dallas looks at me like I'm insane and opens his mouth to say something but Tris and Maya come running up before he can.

"OWEN! OWEN!" They yell running up together.

"Something's wrong with Clare!" Maya tells me in a hurried and panicked voice.

"Where is she?" I ask and they take off running so I follow them.

I hear Dallas running behind me, we round the corner and I see Clare slumped over leaning against the wall, her hands on her legs and her head down. My first thought is that she's dizzy and about to pass out again, we're near the storage room so there aren't a ton of people here but a few are gathered around her.

"Back off give her some room to breathe," I bark at everyone as I run over to her.

I put a hand on her shoulder and she looks up at me with a small smile straightening up. "I'm okay," she says trying to assure me.

"You don't look very okay," I respond.

"Should we take her to the nurse? Or call an ambulance?" Dallas asks.

"No I'm okay really just forgot to eat this morning," she asserts taking my hand, she's putting on a smile for everyone but she's squeezing my hand very tightly. "Walk me to class," she requests.

"Of course," I reply taking her backpack and putting an arm around her shoulders. "You sure you don't want to go to the hospital or home at least?" I ask her.

"My next appointments in two days, it's not that bad I just feel kind of…off," she tells me.

"Off how?" I question.

"I don't know, hard to describe, just off. There's a lot going on right now in my body but I'm okay," she affirms although she sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than me.

"Do I need to get you some food?" I ask her.

"No I had toast this morning," she replies.

"Okay if you start to feel worse I'm at least taking you home," I tell her.

She nods as we get to her homeroom class, the classroom is empty but I walk her in and she sits at her desk. I set her backpack down but I'm worried about leaving her alone so I sit on the desk next hers. I stay with her even after a few other kids come in the room but I don't leave her until Adam is there because I know he'll watch her close.

"Hey Owen," Adam nods to me. He doesn't pay much attention to me being in here with Clare because like the rest of the school he thinks we're actually dating.

"Hey, watch her for me she wasn't feeling well," I tell Adam and he gives Clare a worried look.

"Yeah don't worry I'll keep an eye on her," Adam assures me.

I give Clare one more look and then leave her to go to my homeroom. Dallas is already there and he nods to me.

"Clare okay?" He asks.

"She says she is but I'm kind of worried," I admit.

Class seems to drag on because I can't help but worry about Clare. When I see her parenting though she looks a lot better and I'm relieved. I still have her sit at the table with me and Luke just to be safe. For the rest of the day she seems fine, she doesn't eat much but that's normal she hasn't eaten much for the last ten weeks. I still keep a close eye on her though and when Lucas picks her up I tell him to watch her and I'll be over after practice. Coach works us hard during practice and I'm beat when it's over and starving but I want to go check on Clare. I drive to Lucas' place and he answers the door when I ring the bell.

"Hey she's resting upstairs, I have to work tonight and my mom was asked to take a double shift," Lucas says as he lets me in.

"I'm staying the night then, I know she said she was fine but I'm not taking any chances leaving her alone," I tell him.

"Yeah that's what I thought you'd say there's an air mattress in the closet and sheets and stuff. I have to leave in about an hour and I gotta shower but there's some pizza on the counter," Lucas informs me.

"Thanks, I'm gonna go look in on her and run home before you leave," I tell him, he nods and I go upstairs.

"Hey," she smiles when I peek into her room, she's sitting on her bed doing her homework.

"Hey, I'm sleeping over tonight," I tell her.

"Uh you know we aren't actually dating," she says.

"Yeah I know but you didn't look well this morning, Lucas is working tonight and so is Evelyn so I'm staying. I'm going to run home and grab some stuff and I'll be back before Lucas leaves for work," I tell her.

She doesn't argue and I leave her room calling to Lucas that I'll be back in ten minutes. Then leave and drive home to pack a bag for the night.

**Update next Tuesday from right about her, Owen staying the night, Clare's appointment and Drew's return.**


	7. Girl You Want so Much it Makes You Sorry

**As I'm sure most of you know this story came about after many requests for Clare to get pregnant in Friends with Benefits. xaviorismy1andonly3512 requested a Clew pregnancy story after I told her that Clare would not get pregnant in Friends with Benefits. She gave me a couple of plots before I started plotting it but then she didn't want to see the plots when they were done. After I started writing she starting having more ideas and more plots which was fine only her ideas didn't work with the story I had planned already. I do want to tell her story however but this is no longer that story. This story will continue on the path I have planned for it and all of her ideas will be put into a short story, a story that will truly be hers, that story is on my list for plotting on my next plotting day.**

**Also I joined twitter tonight because the episode pissed me the hell off! Anyway aside from getting angry at the DeGrassi writers and producers I'm thinking I'll actually use it to let you guys know what stories are upcoming each week on Thursday and Friday, maybe drop hints about that nights chapter. And if any of you guest readers have twitter it might be an easier way to make requests to me and ask me questions. So if any of you care at all to follow me I'm Halawen_DFF**

**Ch.7 Girl You Want so Much it Makes You Sorry**

**(CLARE)**

I was sitting on my bed doing homework, trying to concentrate so I could finish but I was horny! I had no idea why, there was no reason to be, I hadn't been thinking of Drew or anything but that tickle was between my legs and it wouldn't stop! It was making it increasingly difficult to concentrate on my native studies homework. I would simply lock my door and masturbate but Owen was in the room with me, sitting at the end of the bed and doing his own homework. So I bite my lip and squirmed uncomfortably.

"What's the matter?" Owen asks looking up from his world issues book.

"Nothing," I shake my head, biting my lip again.

Owen looks back at his book and I go back to my homework. I'm still horny however and I can't sit still, so Owen looks up at me again after a few seconds.

"Something is obviously wrong you can't sit still," Owen responds.

"It's nothing," I say quickly.

There's a sudden knock on my door and I jump, Lucas peaks his head in and smiles at me, I smile back and bite my lip.

"I'm leaving for work now, I brought out the air mattress from the garage, there's pillows and blankets in the hall closet. If anything happens call my cell," Lucas insists.

"I thought the point in Owen staying over was so that we wouldn't have to bother you at work?" I ask.

"It is but I still want to know if something goes wrong," Lucas says. "Mom is downstairs watching TV; she'll probably go to bed in a couple of hours. I'll be back about 2:30," Lucas tells us and then he waves and leaves my room.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?" Owen questions when we hear Lucas leaving through the front door.

"No," I shake my head.

"Clare come on, pretend I'm Drew," he persists.

"That's sort of the problem, you aren't Drew," I respond and Owen cocks an eyebrow at me. I sigh, rolling my lip between my teeth and letting out a breath. "I'm…horny," I finally admit.

"Oh," Owen says and scratches his head uncomfortably. "I can uh…take care of it," he offers and now I cock an eyebrow at him.

"No that's…" I start to say and then bite my lip I really am horny.

"We already talked about it a…" Owen is saying when I cut him off.

"We had no such conversation," I dispute.

"No I had it with Mia, Lucas and Evelyn. It's not cheating Clare, Drew broke up with you and we're supposed to be dating. I'm stepping up when he can't and that includes everything," Owen asserts.

"I…ummm…" I mumble this is quite awkward but I'm also very horny and Owen has a point.

I finally bite my lip and nod after a moment of consideration, after all Drew left me and he can't blame me for having Owen get me off, especially since Owen's my boyfriend, well everyone thinks he's my boyfriend anyway.

"So uh we could…no uh that wouldn't feel right. Umm, okay so let's start with you taking off your jeans and panties," Owen says standing up and helping me off the bed.

He turns around allowing me to undress without him looking; although considering what we're about to do I find it funny. I undress from the waist down and sit on the bed again, hearing the squeak of the springs Owen turns around again. He stares for a second and then gets on the bed telling me to lie back, so I do. Owen gets between my legs and his head goes down between them, his arms go around my thighs and then his tongue slides into me! I pull in a breath and release a moan, my back arching as I grip the headboard. Owen's tongue darts around a little, I bite my lip and my head lulls back into the pillow. Owen's rather good at this and I'm already very horny so I feel the climax building very quickly. Biting my lip and moaning endlessly, my breathing increases exponentially and my hips buck, writhing against Owen's face. My body tenses, then relaxes and then tenses again before I climax, moaning loudly as I release!

Owen slows and then withdraws his tongue, I curl up quivering a little and Owen gets off the bed. I hear him lick his lips as he sits back on the bed. He hands me my panties and jeans again. After a few minutes I can breathe again and put on my panties but I don't wish to wear my jeans anymore. I stand but my legs are still shaking and I wobble, Owen hops up catching me by the waist so that I don't fall. I put my hands on his and find my footing again, assuring him that I'm simply still recovering and nothing else is wrong. He let's go of me when I'm stable and I walk to the closet getting out a pair of pajama shorts. I sit on the bed again and we finish our homework, Owen gets the air mattress and makes it up on my floor while I get ready for bed.

"Wake me up for any reason," Owen insists as I get into bed.

"I'll be fine," I tell him but he doesn't look like he believes me.

He goes out to get ready for bed and I lay down closing my eyes. I'm really rather tired and I'm already drifting to sleep when Owen comes back in the room.

**(OWEN)**

"You ready?" I ask Clare when I pick her up for her prenatal appointment on Saturday afternoon.

"Yeah I guess," she sighs grabbing her purse and coat.

"Dr. Burns isn't your doctor this time and if he somehow is on duty I'm taking you out of there after last time," I tell her taking her to my car.

I drive to the clinic and park, we go in, Clare tells them she's there for her appointment, they tell us to go back to exam room 4. I turn my back and let Clare change; she tells me when I can turn around. Clare sits on the exam table and we wait for about ten minutes before the doctor knocks on the door. The female doctor is a nice looking woman in her forties with dirty blonde hair that's pulled back in a ponytail.

"Hello I'm Dr. Jackman you must be Clare and Owen," she says after looking at her notes.

"Yes that's us but I'm not the father just a friend," I tell her.

"Yes I see that here in Dr. Burns notes. Why don't you lie back on the table Clare and I'm going to perform a sonogram to get an accurate gestational age," the doctor says.

"Will we be able to see the baby?" Clare asks as she lies back.

"Yes, the baby will even look a little like a human," the doc tells us lifting Clare's gown and putting gel on Clare's belly. "Right now your baby is only about two and a half inches it will be a little hard to see on the screen but I will take a picture and blow it up for you to take home," Dr. Jackman tells us and turns on the sonogram machine.

"When will I know the sex?" Clare questions.

"Not until next month it's too soon to tell right now, there if you look at the screen you can see," the doctor says and I look at the screen.

I see a very large head that looks more like an alien than human but I do see it. I kind of expect Clare to be happy and excited but she's just blinking at it. The doctor is also looking at it very closely and then puts more gel on Clare's baby and moves the wand to the right.

"Is something wrong doctor?" I question.

"No I don't think so, the baby is in an awkward position it's just hard to see. I'm going to put the fetal heart monitor on," the doctor tells us.

"Is something wrong?" Clare asks.

"No I just want to hear the baby's heart while I have a look around," she tells us.

She sets down the wand and picks up a belt looking thing that she lays on Clare's stomach. The doctor switches it on and I can hear a really fast heartbeat.

"That seems pretty fast," I remark.

"It's supposed to be, that's perfectly normal. Alright Clare, you baby looks very healthy and I think you were quite accurate, twelve weeks is right," the doctor says turning off the heart rate monitor and sonogram machine. "Given that and the date of your last menstrual cycle your due date is," the doctor takes out a little tablet and seems to do some kind of calculation, "September 17th."

"Great right after school starts up again," Clare says sardonically.

The doctor prints Clare a picture of the sonogram, gets Clare's blood pressure and her weight then asks if we have any questions.

"No," Clare shakes her head.

"She's been feeling pretty lousy, throwing up and getting dizzy, passing out."

"That's all normal Owen; she's got a lot of hormones and things going on in her body. Pregnancy can present in a number of symptoms and especially when, like Clare the mom is young and small frame. You should start to feel better as you get into the second trimester, have more energy but some women do continue to have morning sickness throughout the pregnancy. I'm going to prescribe you some prenatal vitamins you can pick up from the pharmacy," the doctor says scribbling something out on a prescription pad. "Make another appointment for four weeks and if you have any concerns at all don't be afraid to call the nurses line."

"I like her much better," I tell Clare when the doctor has left the room.

"She also didn't have to do a pelvic exam but yes I like her better too," Clare nods.

"I'll let you get dressed and go make you another appointment," I tell Clare and she smiles. I leave the room and go to the reception desk, "I need to make another appointment for Clare Edwards in four weeks."

"Okay let's see four weeks would be April 2nd, that's Saturday again, do you want the same time?" The reception nurse asks.

"Which doctor is on duty that day?" I question.

"Dr. Burns," says the nurse.

"No anyone but Dr. Burns," I reply.

"Okay if you want Dr. Jackman again she's on duty that Monday the 4th," the nurse tells me.

"Good Monday is fine, during lunch if we can at 11:30," I tell her.

"Yes 11:30 is fine the next few appointments won't take very long," the nurse comments typing on the computer and then giving me an appointment card.

When Clare comes out I give her the appointment card then I swing by the pharmacy to fill her prescription.

"You want to swing by the Dot to get something to eat?" I ask her after getting in the car again.

"Actually I'm pretty tired can you just take me home please?" She requests.

"Yeah but I'm staying tonight since Lucas is working." I tell her and she smiles.

I take her home and she goes upstairs, I tell Lucas about her appointment and then go upstairs to check on her. Clare's asleep in her bed so I shut the door and let her sleep, going back downstairs to hang out with Lucas until he has to go to work.

**(DREW)**

The plane lands at Pearson airport and I open the blind on the window. It's night time and there's not much to see other than lights on the runway but I've been away from Toronto for eight weeks and it feels good to be home. It feels like it takes a very long time to taxi to the gate and for us to be let off. Then I have to walk through most of the airport to get to the area where families are waiting to greet their loved ones. I grin widely when I see Mom, Dad, Adam and Dallas here; Mom pulls me into her arms and hugs me very tightly for several minutes.

"Nice to have you home son," Dad says hugging me when Mom finally releases me.

"Good to have you back big bro," Adam smiles hugging me after Dad.

I high five Dallas and then we go down to baggage claim and grab my bags. We stop for dinner at Swiss Chalet on the way home and it's nice to be eating food that I didn't have to cook. Mom and Adam tell me all about everything that's gone on since I left, for all the news they give me two names are curiously missing from the list, Clare and Owen. Then of course Mom tells me that I'm still on probation and I have a whole list of chores to do this weekend. When we get home Adam and Dallas help me take everything to my room. I tell Adam I'm going to shower and go to bed, which is what I do, I fall asleep quickly and I dream about Clare all night long.

Mom doesn't let me sleep in; she wakes me up at seven for breakfast. I eat a good breakfast and then Mom tells me I get to clean the gutters. I do chores all day long, after the gutters I clean behind the fridge, and then clean the tile in all the washrooms with a toothbrush, then vacuum the entire house. By the time we have dinner I'm exhausted, I eat as much as I can and then fall asleep as soon as I fall into bed. I dream about Clare all night long again, I didn't talk about her or hear about her all day; I was too busy doing chores. Mom wakes me up seven again and after breakfast it's back to chores, Mom has me start by cleaning out the garage, the chore I should have done when I left that day. Adam comes out after a few minutes, sitting on a box and watching me work.

"So you going to tell me about Clare?" I ask my brother.

"I don't know are you going to tell me why you two broke up?" Adam questions.

"I already told you Adam," I respond somewhat annoyed.

"Yeah sure," Adam replies rolling his eyes. "Clare's fine, she's with Owen a lot, all the time really, I hardly see her except for Class."

"Then Owen's controlling her pulling her from her friends?" I question.

"No I don't think so; he's been worried about her. She's been kind of sick or something," Adam tells me.

"_Not sick, pregnant," _I think but don't say anything. "Then Owen's taking care of her?" I ask.

"Yeah, he seems to but she doesn't really seem happy with him. Are you going to talk to her tomorrow?" Adam queries.

I set down the box I was moving and look at my younger brother and Clare's best friend. "I can't Adam, I just can't, she has every right to hate me. What I did to her was beyond forgiving," I tell him.

"You broke up with her, how is that beyond forgiving?" Adam asks.

"You don't understand Adam and if I tell you then you will hate me. Now unless you're going to help me can you just leave me with my shame?" I request of him.

Adam shakes his head and sighs but he gets up and walks back inside. Cleaning out the garage takes me all day and after dinner I take a shower and go to bed. Mom wakes me up even earlier Monday morning, she tells me I'll be doing this for a while until she's sure I'm not going to behave like I was before I was sent away. Adam drives us to school and I head straight for my locker, I'm anxious and really afraid to see Clare. When I get to my locker I see her with Owen at his locker, he's getting books out and seems to be carrying her backpack while she argues with him that she doesn't need her backpack carried. She hates being told she can't do things, I know it's wrong but I smile and hope that they get in a bad fight and breakup. Then again even if they do break up Clare probably wouldn't come back to me after what I put her through. She sees me now, lingering at the end of the hall, she stops talking and looks right at me, her eyes locking onto mine, God how I love those amazing blue eyes of hers. She smiles just a little and waves, then Owen takes notice of me, he nods but closes his locker and puts his arm around Clare.

"Lucas is working so I'm sleeping over tonight," Owen tells her as they walk past me.

"_He's sleeping there! They're sleeping together! How long has that been going on?_!" I feel the anger in me rising, I clench my fist and get ready to punch the locker but then I remember everything I learned at Horizon and manage to calm myself down. I quickly put books in my locker and go see Mr. Simpson, he also tells me that I'm on probation and he'll be keeping a close eye on me.

"Hey Drew, welcome back," K.C. smiles at me when I leave Simpson's office.

"Thanks, nice to be back at a school where I don't have to cook and clean everything," I reply and K.C. laughs. We part ways to go to class and when I get to math class Jake is already at his desk.

"Hey Drew," Jake nods.

"Hey," I nod back. It's tempting to ask him how long Clare's been sleeping with Owen but Jake wouldn't know. He barely kept track of her life when they were living in the same house, he didn't even know she and I had had sex until weeks after the fact. My brother on the other hand is her best friend and he'd probably know. I find Adam at his locker after class and lean on the locker next to his. "How long has Clare been sleeping with Owen?" I blurt out.

Adam gives me a look as he closes his locker, "I don't know I'm not in the habit of asking Clare about her sex life. I'm guessing since he started sleeping over nearly every night which was about a week ago."

I lean against the locker and slump, "I lost her Adam."

"Why don't you talk to her Drew, you don't know you lost her until you talk to her," Adam says but I only shake my head and walk off to class.

"Hey welcome back, you got your anger control Hulk?" Bianca teases when I get into business leadership class.

"Yeah, I learned to control it and figure out what I was angry at," I reply.

"So how was the troubled teens school?" She asks.

"I liked camping and the outdoor stuff, the classes were just as boring as they are here and there was a lot of cooking and cleaning. I didn't really talk in group therapy sessions, a lot of the kids were there for drug abuse or worse, I was angry because I abandoned my pr…" I start to say pregnant girlfriend but other kids come into class so shut up.

"You know Owen has Ice Hounds practice after school you could go talk to her, I can give you Luke's address," Bianca offers.

"No, I can't. I screwed up Bianca, big time I did a lot and she has every right to never forgive me. Anyway I'm on lockdown for the next week I have to go straight home after school," I tell her.

"Okay maybe you need some more time but you should talk to her Drew," Bianca says just as the teacher comes into class.

I want to talk to Clare but truth is I'm too ashamed to face her after everything I did. I grab lunch from the caf and almost eat there when I see Owen getting two lunches and guessing that the second lunch is for Clare I decide to follow him. He goes out to the football bleachers where Clare is waiting. They're sitting in the top left corner so I sit on the grass under the bleachers far enough to the other side that that they can't see me.

"What's wrong?" He asks Clare, I try to look through the bleacher seats to see her but I can only see her shoes and legs.

"I feel like vomiting like always," she responds.

"Well you still need to eat something," Owen says trying to hand her something.

"Owen I don't feel like eating, I feel like vomiting," she argues.

"Yeah but Lucas said you didn't eat breakfast either, at least a little of the yogurt it's protein," Owen persists.

"No it'll just come straight back up and I'll vomit on your shoes. Anyway the baby will take what it needs from me," Clare tells him.

"Yeah I know but you didn't eat much yesterday either and you're looking kind of pale again," Owen says and I can hear the worry in his voice.

"I'm fine, just didn't sleep much last night," she responds.

"Then you should have woken me up," he comments.

"You were sleeping at home last night I wasn't going to wake you up, anyway I was just stressing about seeing Drew today," she replies and I get stabbed by guilt. "I just want to lay down a minute," she tells him.

"You want to go inside?" Owen asks.

"No, I like the fresh air," she replies.

"Here," Owen says taking off his Ice Hounds jacket for her to use as a pillow or blanket. For the rest of lunch I eat while watching them, or as much of them as I can see but Clare just sleeps all through lunch and all through her spare after lunch. Owen and I both have a spare after lunch too so I just stay watching them since he stays with her too. "Come on the bells going to ring soon, I'll take you to class and grab your books from your locker," he tells her waking her up.

"Class? You mean I slept all the way through lunch and spare?" She asks with a yawn.

"Yeah but I figured you needed it, how do you feel?" Owen queries as she stands but she starts to fall, Owen catches her. "I told you to eat," he scolds her.

"I'm okay just fatigued," she responds.

"Here take your yogurt, eat it before the bell you need some food in you and I'm going to make sure Lucas feeds you when you get home," he tells her.

I watch them walk down the bleachers, I can see her eating her yogurt as she walks, I hide so they won't see me and then follow them inside. She eats her yogurt before they get to her native studies class and she tosses the container as they pass a trashcan. Owen hands her a bottle of water and she takes a few sips.

"I could text Dave to bring me my backpack," she says to Owen when they reach the door for her native studies class.

"No I'm the boyfriend I'll get it," Owen asserts.

She glances in my direction and then grabs Owen by his team jacket, puts a hand at the back of his neck, grazing her nails on the back of his head. She closes the gap between them and joins their lips, she kisses him hard, his hand goes to the small of her back and I feel my fists clenching. I can just see her lips parting and his tongue going in, she stands on her tiptoes deepening the kiss and they linger like that for over a minute.

"Be right back," Owen tells her with a goofy carnal grin on his face.

That should be my grin! That should have been my kiss! And if I hadn't screwed everything up it probably would have been. I screwed up and I lost her. I unclench my fists and turn to walk to geography, a class I have with Owen, this should be fun.

**Update next Tuesday starting from around here in Owen pov in class and sleeping at Clare's again.**


	8. I Should Not Have Let You Go

**Rant with me on twitter everyone! Halawen_DFF**

**Ch. 8 I Should Not Have Let You Go**

**(OWEN)**

After dropping Clare at class I walk to geography and find Drew already at his desk. Which happens to be right next to mine, he's sort of glaring at me but he looks ashamed too, which is good because he should be ashamed for what he did to Clare.

"How long have you been sleeping with her?" Drew whispers leaning over to my desk.

"You went nuts and got yourself sent off. You've been gone for eight weeks a little late to be asking that now isn't it?" I question. Okay I'm egging him on but I want him to get jealous and realize he's been an idiot.

"She's my girlfriend," Drew growls loudly, "and she's carrying my child," he whispers into my ear since other people are in the class now.

"Well you've got one out of two right, she's not your girlfriend anymore," I remind him.

Bianca comes in and sits down, the teacher begins class and Drew doesn't say anything else. When class lets out I don't want to get into with Drew so I leave quickly and go pick up Clare from her native studies class.

"It's working, he's jealous," I tell her in a low voice as we walk to the front.

"He doesn't seem very jealous he's been avoiding me all day," she sighs.

"I have to swing home for a change of clothes but I'll be over by 6:30," I comment when I open the door for her to get in Lucas' car.

Clare smiles and I watch them drive off before I walk to the bus for practice. Dallas says Drew was talking about Clare a lot and warns me again that he might try and get back together with her. I only shrug again. Practice was pretty rough, coach worked us hard; when the bus takes us back to school I hop straight in my car and drive home. Mom has dinner ready and I'm starving so I sit down to eat.

"Sleeping at Clare's again," I tell mom with my mouth full.

"You're always sleeping at Clare's," Tris rolls his eyes.

"Owen don't talk with your mouth full," Mom scolds.

As soon as I'm done with dinner I pack a bag and say goodbye to my family and head to Lucas' place. Lucas lets me in, he has to go pretty soon and I tell him I already ate before going up to Clare's room.

"How you feeling?" I ask her.

She's sitting on her bed doing homework, leaning back against the headboard with her laptop on a bed tray and a wireless keyboard on her lap.

"Not bad, I ate all my dinner and it hasn't come back up," she tells me.

"Good," I smile sitting on the bed and getting out my homework.

We work in silence for about an hour until Lucas tells us he's going to work. He kisses Clare's cheek and we say goodnight to him. Clare finishes her homework and then grabs her pajamas from the closet.

"I'm going to take a shower," she says.

"Okay," I nod.

Clare walks off to the shower and I continue with my homework, Clare returns wearing her pajamas, a light blue tank top that is not supporting her breasts. She's also got on light blue pajama bottom shorts and she's chewing on her lower lip for some reason.

"You feeling alright?" I question.

"Mmhmm," she replies.

"You don't sound alright," I comment, "are you in pain?"

"No," she shakes her head; she gets in the bed and covers up.

"I know," I remark setting my book down, "you're horny again."

"You don't have to take care of me again," she says but doesn't look like she means a word of it, especially as her legs open a little when I pull down the blankets.

"Really it's not a hardship, I told you I would," I grin, I would feel guilty but Clare is hot and I like getting her off.

"I know but Drew's back and…" she stops pulling a breath in through her teeth as I hook my fingers into the waistband of her shorts.

"Yes and I think he's jealous and coming around," I comment pulling her shorts down a little, "but you're horny and Drew's not here. Besides think how much more guilty he'll feel when he finds out you were horny and he hadn't come round yet to take care of you."

"Drew better come around soon," she says taking her shorts off for me and then her panties, "or I'm going to lose my resolve and make love to you," she adds under her breath as I go between her legs but I hear her.

I grin and slip my tongue into her and she moans gripping my hair. I grasp her hips as she starts to squirm, my tongue licking around her heated core. She tastes like chocolate and strawberries tonight, last time she tasted like sugar cookies. Clare moans her waist and hips gyrating against me, I can tell she's getting close and I let go of her hips, my thumb pressing against her clit and she moans louder. Her body tenses and she screams out when she climaxes. I help her ride out her orgasm before removing my tongue.

"Feeling better?" I inquire licking my lips.

"Yes but if Drew does come around this is going to be hard to explain," she says.

"No it won't, he left you and I stepped in, just more for him to be ashamed about," I shrug.

Clare giggles and I get back to my homework. Clare gets tired and goes to bed pretty early, I finish my homework and get into my bed already set up on her floor. I wake up some hours later when I hear a crashing sound in the washroom. Evelyn has her own and it's only 1am so Lucas isn't home yet. I jump up and run out to the washroom knocking on the door.

"Clare?" I hear movement and after a few seconds she opens the door. "What's wrong?" I ask noticing that she's clutching her upper stomach.

"I'm okay, it's just heartburn I think, I vomited a bit, guess dinner isn't sitting so well with me after all," she tells me.

"You look a little pale," I remark.

"Got a little dizzy," she responds and then scrunches her face as if in pain.

"I think I should take you to the hospital," I tell her picking her up.

"Owen you're overreacting, I'm okay heartburn and dizziness are all part of being pregnant," Clare argues.

"And you just looked like you were in pain," I point out.

"Heartburn, can you take me back to bed now?" She requests turning off the washroom light.

"Fine but if you get any worse I'm taking you in," I tell her firmly.

I put her back in bed and grabbing my comforter from the floor and lay down next to her.

"What are you doing?" She questions.

"Keeping an eye on you," I reply.

She doesn't argue, just turns on her side with her back to me and falls asleep after a short time. When she's asleep again I fall asleep but I'm on alert for the rest of the night.

**(DREW)**

I'd spent all morning watching Clare with Owen, he was constantly around her, picking her up from class, carrying her backpack, getting books from her locker. I hated how he was always around her, I hated even more that I didn't have the courage to talk to her still. I tried; I got about ten paces from her and turned around. Now it was lunch time and I was watching Clare and Owen eating on the bleachers. Only Clare doesn't seem to be eating much and then she throws up, which was unpleasant to watch as it falls through the bleachers. Then Clare suddenly goes limp! Owen picks her up and she becomes conscious as he's carrying her.

"Where are we going?" She asks putting her arms around his neck ad they approach the picnic table.

"I'm taking you home," Owen responds as they walk past me and Owen shoots me a look.

Clare doesn't seem to argue and as I turn to watch them walk to the parking lot Bianca appears. She sits on the picnic table next to me and watches Owen carry her to his car.

"Is she okay?" I question.

"I don't think the pregnancy is going very well," Bianca says.

"What do you mean it's not going well?"

"According to Owen she's been throwing up, getting dizzy, passing out. She passed out in school the other day. She was in a lot of pain after her first prenatal, of course that might have something to do with the fact that she had a speculum and the doctor's hand shoved up inside her. Owen got mad at him and made sure she didn't have that doctor the last time," Bianca comments.

"What do you mean the pregnancy isn't going well? Is Clare going to be okay? The baby? How bad is it?" I question in one breath.

"Why don't you get over yourself and talk to her! Obviously you still love the girl," Bianca suggests.

"Yeah, thanks Bianca got to talk to a few other people first," I tell her and run inside to find my brother. He's in the auditorium helping Eli with his play and everything stops when I burst in. "Excuse me I need to borrow my brother a minute," I announce dragging Adam off Eli cock an eyebrow at me but only shrugs and gets back to work.

"Okay what's up?" Adam inquires when we're in the music room and I've locked the door.

"Clare's pregnant and it's mine," I confess.

For a second he just stares at me, then my brother curls up his fist and punches me right in the eye! To be fair I deserved it.

"YOU BROKE UP WITH HER BECAUSE YOU GOT HER PREGNANT!" Adam yells at me. "You couldn't be a man so you got all pissed at yourself and made life miserable for the rest of us! You bloody moron! You've done a lot of stupid crap before but really Drew?! You were in love with Clare and you left her as soon as you found out she was pregnant didn't you?!"

Adam has that look in his eye that I didn't want to see, that look of anger and deep disappointment and shame. Worst part is I know I deserve every ounce of it.

"I know Adam; I was beyond a moron, a terrible horrible pig. I found out she was pregnant and I just freaked out. We always used protection and I was convinced the baby wasn't mine at first."

Before I can say anything else Adam speaks up, "Clare would never cheat."

"I know Adam, I was angry and scared, I didn't know what to do and I flipped out. I was angry, at everything really but I'm still in love with Clare, I want her back and I want to raise the baby with her. I know I screwed up and I know she's dating Owen but I'm still in love with her and I will do anything to get her back. I'm going to make it right Adam," I promise my brother.

"Good, Clare needs you, needs us. This explains a lot actually although I'm still angry that neither of you told me," Adam grumbles.

"Sorry Adam, I didn't want you to hate me and I don't know what she was thinking," I reply.

"A baby's going to be a lot of work you know," Adam tells me.

"I know but it's worth it, I'm in love with Clare, she's all I thought about for weeks. I gotta go talk to Mom, Clare's living with Lucas and I think she should live with us, or I should live there but I don't want to be apart from her anymore," I tell him and Adam smiles.

"Now you sound like the brother I look up to. Go talk to Mom," Adam tells me his grin getting a little bigger.

I smile at brother and leave school, getting in my car and driving home. Dad's of course at work but I know Mom is home, she looks surprised to see me when I come in but I am supposed to be at school.

"Andrew what are you doing home?" Mom questions.

"I need to talk to you, it's really important," I respond.

"So important that you left school and what happened to your eye?" Mom asks looking at my eye which just now starts to throb. "Did you get in a fight?"

"Not exactly, Adam hit me," I inform her.

"What? Why would your brother hit you?" Mom asks getting an ice pack from the freezer so I can put it on my eye.

"I deserved it Mom. Clare is pregnant, I freaked out when I found out and broke up with her," I admit.

"Andrew Torres how could you do such a thing? How could you be so heartless? Breaking up with your pregnant girlfriend! When did you two start having sex?"

"Months ago but we always used condoms. When Clare told me I just lost it, I was scared and angry that it happened and I took my anger out on her. I broke up with her and told her it wasn't mine and it was her problem. I know what I did was terrible but I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, I want her back Mom. Her mom kicked her out and she's living at a friend's but I want to be with her and I want our baby to be raised by us. I want her to move in," I inform my mom.

"Well," Mom says slowly like she's still processing all the information. "I'm very disappointed in you for your behavior these last couple of months but I can at least understand where it was coming from. I am proud of you for finally doing the right thing and taking responsibility. I agree that Clare should move in here, especially if Helen kicked her out which isn't too surprising. I'll call your father, maybe we can move Dallas into your room and convert the basement into a little apartment for the two of you and the baby after it's born. I'm not a babysitting service though, and you'll need to get a part time job to help with finances," Mom informs me.

"Yes ma'am whatever it takes," I smile. I don't care what it takes; I will move mountains if it means I get Clare back and she can move in and we can raise the baby together.

"Alright get back to school and I'll call your father," Mom tells me.

"Thanks Mom," I grin.

I hug her tightly and then go out to my car driving back to school; it's my spare right now so I stay on the steps waiting to hear from Mom. She calls about half an hour later. She says Dad agreed Clare should move in, she can move in right away but the basement won't be ready until this weekend and we'll need lots of help. I'm sure Adam will help, probably Dallas too and Bianca and a few of our other friends. Owen maybe, if he's still my friend. Maybe even Lucas will help. I've still got fifteen minutes before class and Owen's on his spare too, assuming he's back at school. I go looking for him in all his usual spots and find him with Bianca and my brother in the memorial garden.

"Hey Owen I need to talk to you," I tell him.

Bianca and Adam already know that Clare is pregnant and I figure that Dallas will find out anyway.

"Okay what's up?" He questions.

"Look I know you two are dating now but I'm still in love with Clare. I want her back and that's my baby she's carrying s…"

"Whoa! Baby?" Dallas interrupts; I ignore him and keep talking.

"She should be with me; we're going to raise the baby together. Mom and Dad said she could move in. I know you're going out with her but that's my baby. I messed up I know but I'll make it up to her. I know you care about her bu…"

"Dude stop," Owen laughs, "we aren't really dating."

"WHAT?!" Adam and Dallas exclaim at the same time.

"What the hell do you mean you weren't really dating?" I question.

"It was all a rouse to make you jealous and make you realize you were being an idiot. It took you fucking long enough to come around though, Clare was beginning to think you'd never come around," Owen says.

"Dammit, I'd kill you if I wasn't so relieved right now. Thanks for looking out for her but I need her back; I have to be the one that's with her. She's moving in, oh and Dallas you're moving into my room, we're converting the basement into an apartment for us," I inform my billet brother.

"Okay, I'm still working on the fact that Clare's pregnant and Owen was fake dating her," he responds and Bianca laughs as the bell rings for class.

"Come on boys we have geography," Bianca comments pulling at me and Owen.

"Yeah and we have native studies, I'll make sure and get Clare's homework," Adam remarks.

"I'll take it to her I need to talk to her after school anyway," I speak up. We wave to Adam and Dallas then the three of us walk to geography. "How bad is it?" I ask Owen when we sit at our desks.

"How bad is what? And what the hell happened to your eye?" Owen questions.

"Adam punched me when I told him everything," I reply.

"Good," Bianca comments.

"How bad is Clare? I saw her throw up and pass out," I tell Owen.

"Yeah it's been pretty rough, she's been pale, dizzy, throwing up, passing out. She tells me it's all part of the…" Owen stops before he says pregnancy as other kids come in the room, "it, but frankly dude I'm worried."

I sit back in the chair with a sigh; I've been spending the last ten weeks pissed at the world and ashamed while Clare's been suffering through a pregnancy. I watch the clock, waiting for the bell to ring so I can go talk to Clare.

**(CLARE)**

"Hey," Lucas says poking his head into my room, "you have a visitor."

I expect it to be Owen, perhaps Bianca or possibly Adam but I almost choke when I see Drew come in the room.

"Hi," he says with a nervous grin, "brought your homework."

"Holler if you need me," Lucas tells me before closing the bedroom door.

"Drew wha…" I start to say but he's suddenly next to me on the bed, he cups my face and overtakes my lips before I can ask what happened to his eye.

The second his lips touch mine I melt, it's a feeling of coming home, that my lips were only ever mean to touch his. I grip his shirt, pulling him to me a little more, wanting to feel all of him that I can. His other hand rests on my hip, my lips part, my tongue seeking out his, feeling it, caressing it, tasting him and knowing that I'm not dreaming like I have so many time before. It's several minutes before our lips part, only parting for need air and my eyes opening to lock onto his.

"I'm still in love with you Clare; I was always in love with you. I know I screwed up and I know you have every reason to hate me but I am still in love with you. This baby is ours, it belongs to us and it should be raised by the two of us, besides which I know you and Owen weren't really dating," he tells me with a grin and I smile sheepishly biting my lip.

"It was his idea, he thought you'd come around in a couple of days. What took you so long?" I question gripping him tightly as part of me still worries that this is just a dream.

"Sorry I was angry, but not at you, at me, and the whole situation. I couldn't talk you, I was too afraid, I was terrible to you and you have every right to hate me," he says.

"I don't hate you, I was worried about you. Worried that you were so angry and that you hated me," I respond.

"No," Drew shakes his head brushing a curl behind my ear, "I could never hate you Clare. I hated myself, I hated the whole situation and the thought of Adam hating me and my parent's disappointment but I could never hate you. I'm sorry for everything I put you through, I'm sorry for not being here when you needed me but I am now. I know you're not really dating Owen and I want you to move in with me. My mom, Dad and Adam all want you to move in too, you can stay in my room with me for now but we're going to convert the basement into an apartment," Drew informs me.

"You've already told your parents? And Adam?" I question.

"Yeah Adam hit me but he calmed down," Drew says.

"That's what happened to your eye then," I comment.

"Yeah, I'm okay and I deserved it. Mom was pretty disappointed and angry too but she was glad I was coming around and doing the right thing. She called Dad and they both want you to move in. You should be with me, not here, move in with me and I promise to spend every day making up to you how horrible I was and taking excellent care of you," Drew proclaims.

"Do you mean it Drew? You have to mean it Drew, this kid isn't going to go away, you can't change your mind, y…" Drew cuts me off with a kiss before I can say anything else.

He lingers in the kiss; it's a little harder and a little more passionate than the last one. He takes his lips from mine slowly, his lips wear a soft grin and his eyes lock with mine showing nothing but love.

"I mean every word of it Clare; I was an idiot, more than an idiot, an enormous self-absorbed moron. Please move in with me and let me make it up to you. Let me prove to you that I can be a man worthy of you and our child. Can you ever forgive me Clare?"

"Yes but you have a lot of making up to do," I tell him.

"I know I do," he nods.

"And I have to tell you something but remember what a complete imbecilic cretin you were being," I comment and Drew nods. "Owen's been sleeping here," I tell him.

"I know," he speaks up before I can continue; "I thought you were sleeping together at first but then Owen told me it was all fake."

"We never had sex but part of being pregnant means my hormones are raging and Owen ate me out a couple of times," I confess and Drew goes a little red.

"How many is a couple?"

"Just twice and you can't get that mad, you left me pregnant and alone and Owen stepped in," I remind him.

"I know, I guess it's better than you two having sex," Drew says but I can tell he's still angry. "I should have been here not him but I will be here from now on. Come on let's get you home," Drew comments pulling me up from the bed.

"I'll go tell Lucas. Guess this means Owen doesn't need to sleep over tonight," I remark.

Drew sort of growls putting his arms around me from behind and interlacing our fingers, "The only arms you'll ever be sleeping in again are mine."

"I never slept in his arms Drew; he only slept over because he was worried about me being alone at night. I passed out and hit my arm on the sink. Lucas works night and Evelyn is usually deep in sleep, Owen slept over in case anything happened I wouldn't be alone. He took care of my other needs exactly twice and as nice as it was I wished it was you the whole time," I tell him turning my head to kiss his cheek and he grins.

"Go talk to Lucas I'll start packing you up," Drew says letting go of me.

"Everything okay?" Lucas asks when I come downstairs; he's on the sofa watching TV.

"Yeah Drew apologized and he knows that he has a lot to make up for. He, and his whole family, want me to move in with them."

"Good you should be there; can I have a chat with him now? I want him to know if he ever does something so stupid again I'll break him in half," Lucas comments getting off the sofa.

"I'm pretty sure he knows that, he's packing me up now. You and Evelyn have been extremely kind to me and I don't think I can ever pay you back," I tell him.

"It was nice having you here; anyway I had my own screw up to pay for. C'mon, let's go get you packed up," Lucas smiles hugging me with one arm. We walk upstairs and Drew is still getting clothes in my suitcase, Lucas lets go of me and I know he's going to chat with Drew whether I want him to or not. "Took you long enough to come around, glad you finally did but if you hurt her again…"

"I know you'll rip me head off, so will my family, Owen, Bianca, Eli I'm sure and probably Dallas. Don't worry I learned my lesson; I will never do anything to hurt her like that again. Thanks for taking care of her," Drew says holding his hand out and Lucas shakes it.

Now that they've made peace we finish packing me up. Lucas and Drew get my bags out to the car, I hug Lucas and tell him to say thank you to Evelyn. Drew thanks him again and we get in his car to drive to his house, or should I say home.

"Welcome home Clare," Audra says hugging me when we're inside. "I'm sorry we didn't know until now but you're here now where you belong. The two of you will have to be cramped into Drew's room through the weekend but I called Glen t…"

"You what?" I question worried what my mother may have told him and that Audra may have gotten in a shouting match with my stepfather.

"I was sure that your mother hadn't told him what was going on and I was right, he hadn't a clue. He thought you were living with your dad because you didn't want to be around Jake again. Well anyway he wants to help, he and Jake are coming over this weekend to help us with the basement, getting Dallas moved into Drew's room and Drew and you set up downstairs. We'll be turning downstairs into a studio apartment for you two, of course we have to leave the washer and dryer down there which we all have to use but we'll move the video games and stuff up here," Audra explains.

"Hey," Drew whines.

"Don't worry we'll leave you with a TV but you'll have very little time for playing video games anymore Drew. Now why don't you take Clare's bags upstairs and get her settled, your brother is downstairs doing homework and dinner will be ready in an hour," Audra says.

Drew takes my bags and I follow him upstairs, he drops them on the floor of his room and I take his hand.

"Are you still sure about this?" I question him.

He grins, interlacing our fingers and cupping my face, "I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

Then he abducts my lips in a blistering passionate, tenderly loving kiss. A kiss that I instantly melt into, a kiss that more than words conveys to me how much he loves me, cares for me, how truly sorry he is and how very much he means every single word he said.

**Update next Tuesday picking up from around here, also including the next day at school when everyone else learns she's pregnant and maybe some of the weekend.**


	9. Let the Sun Shine In

**Guest reviewers check my profile page for answers to reviews or contact me through twitter Halawen_DFF**

**Ch.9 Let the Sun Shine In**

**(DREW)**

After getting Clare's bags in my room I grab our backpacks and we go downstairs to do our homework. I never did give Clare her native studies homework but it's still in my backpack.

"Hey I hear you're moving in," Adam remarks when we get down to the basement.

"Yeah I can't believe your mom was okay with it," Clare responds.

"I can, you would have been living here from the start if you'd just told us," Adam says in a slightly scolding voice.

"I know but I didn't want to do that Adam, Drew would have resented me. I didn't want him to be forced into the situation; he had to come around on his own. We all know Audra would have forced him to participate and be around, he was angry enough as it was I couldn't do that to him. I wanted Drew to come around but he had to be ready," she says and I feel even guiltier than before which I didn't think was possible.

"I'm sorry it took me so long Clare," I apologize wrapping my arms around her.

"I'm just glad you did come around," she smiles kissing my cheek.

"Took you long enough though," Adam scolds me.

"I know, I know I have a lot of making up to do but let's start on our homework for now," I request.

Adam goes back to what he was doing and I give Clare her native studies homework while I get out my math homework. Clare ends up helping me with math even though the class is a grade above her but it is basic, at least for her it is. Dallas gets home just before dinner is ready, like always, he comes in through the basement and drops his backpack to the floor.

"Hey Clare, congrats on the baby, I think," Dallas says closing the basement door.

"Now that Drew and I are back together and in this together congrats are in order," she replies with a smile and then mom calls us up for dinner.

Clare stands up and we all start going up the stairs, Dallas is leading followed by Adam and then Clare with me behind her. But she suddenly stops, leaning against the wall and shutting her eyes like she's in pain or something.

"Clare?" I say worried, taking her hand and putting a hand on her shoulder. Dallas and Adam both turn around to look at her and Adam puts a hand on her other shoulder.

"I'm okay," she says but she sounds kind of weak, "just a little…dizzy," she pauses before saying dizzy like she's searching for the right word and dizzy wasn't quite it.

"Is that normal?" Adam inquires.

"Yes, there's a lot going on in my body right now, I'm building a while other life it takes a lot out of me, the doctor said it was all normal," she assures us.

"Let's get some food in you, get some of your strength back," I tell her putting an arm around her in case she falters or passes out.

She makes it to the top of the stairs and my dad hugs her welcoming her to our home and family but I get a very censuring and disappointed look from him. We sit down to eat and Mom starts talking about what to do to the basement for us and the baby. After dinner the four of us kids go downstairs to do more homework, Clare goes for about an hour before curling up to sleep.

"I think I'm going to take her upstairs, put her in my bed in case she gets dizzy again," I tell Adam and Dallas and they nod. "Clare, come on let's go up to our room," I say shaking her lightly.

"Why?" She asks in a lightly groggy voice.

"Because you're falling asleep down here," I reply.

"Come on I'll carry your books," Adam tells her.

She yawns and stands up; I gather my books and the two of us get her up to my room. She lies down falling asleep again almost instantly and I sit on the edge of the bed by her feet.

"Is she okay?" Adam questions.

"She can hear you and she's just tired go finish your homework Adam," Clare comments.

"Okay, call me if you need me, I'm sure Drew will take care of you," Adam says putting a hand on her arm and then leaving my room closing the door as he goes.

I start on my homework but I keep glancing at Clare, what Bianca and Owen said about her having a hard pregnancy and being worried about her ring through my head and I'm worried. I'm nearly done with my homework when Clare suddenly groans and jumps up running out of the washroom. I throw down my book and follow her into the washroom where she loses all of her dinner as she pukes it up in the toilet. I sit behind her and pull her hair away from her face, rubbing her back gently.

"Are you okay?" I ask when she's done.

She leans against the wall, and looks at me with these sad sallow eyes that just break my heart. "I'm okay, it's just morning sickness, it can come at any time of day," she informs me.

She starts to stand and I grab onto her helping her up, she links her arms around my neck and puts her head on my chest, she feels weak, kind of shaking and her heart, beating against my chest, seems to be beating really fast. I remember what Owen said about her getting dizzy and everything. I scoop her up in my arms and carry her into the bedroom again laying her on the bed.

"You should get back to sleep," I tell her brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"I'm not so tired anymore; could you get me some water to wash out this taste in my mouth please?" She requests.

"Of course, I'll be right back just don't do anything," I say going out of the room. I go downstairs and get a glass filling it with water from the pitcher in the fridge. Mom and Dad are watching the news in the living room and I almost go back upstairs but then I stop. "Hey Mom," I say and she looks back at me, "did you get sick when you were pregnant? I mean did you get morning sickness even at night?" I ask her.

"Not at night but well into the afternoons, especially for the first couple of months, I barely at a thing until I was four months along. Why, did Clare throw up?" Mom queries.

"Yeah," I nod.

"Perfectly normal dear, I'll make her some peppermint tea," Mom tells me.

I nod and go back upstairs taking Clare her water, she's sitting up and she's regained some color which is good. I hand her the water and she smiles taking several sips before setting the glass on the nightstand.

"Thanks," she grins.

"You sure you're okay?" I ask her again.

"I'm okay Drew it's just part of the pregnancy, anyway I've got some homework to finish," she says grabbing her book.

I'm not sure I believe her but I get my books and start back up on my homework, Mom comes in a few minutes later with some tea for Clare telling her it will help with her stomach. She sips at the tea slowly while finishing her homework but she's tired when we're done, Adam comes in to say goodnight and we get ready for bed. Clare decides to sleep in one of my shirts, I don't mind at all as she looks quite sexy in my shirts. She gets in my bed rolling on her side; I get in on my back and put my arm out. She lies with her head on my chest and her arm draped across me, I wrap my arm around her.

"I love you Clare and I'm very sorry," I tell her, stroking her back.

"I know Drew and I love you too," she whispers against my chest.

She soon falls asleep again but I stay awake for a while, worried about Clare and our baby, full of guilt for leaving her and not being able to face this from the beginning. After a while exhaustion takes over and I drift to sleep. We wake up to my alarm the next morning, Clare is still in my arms and I kiss her gently, caressing her face.

"You're still here, I thought I was dreaming," she grins opening her eyes to look at me.

"No I'm still here, I'm never leaving you again," I assure her.

She sits up and stretches, we get out of bed and get ready for school before going downstairs for breakfast.

"How are you feeling Clare?" Mom asks.

"Pretty good this morning, not so nauseas yet but that could change," she replies but with a smile.

"I made you toast with fruit for breakfast and some more tea," Mom tells her.

"Thanks Audra," she grins.

Mom smiles and strokes her hair, Dallas and Adam are already at the table and they are stuffing themselves with bacon and eggs. I also fill my plate with bacon and eggs, scarfing it down too while Clare eats a piece of toast and a little melon, she does drink all of her tea though. I drive the four of us to school after breakfast and Clare sits up front. Owen and Bianca are on the steps when we get to school; Bianca hugs Clare before kissing Dallas.

"How are you feeling?" Bianca asks Clare.

"Better than yesterday," Clare replies taking my hand and I put my arm around her.

"Yeah well it only took Drew two months and being sent several hundred miles away to come around," Bianca comments.

"I know I screwed up but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her," I reply turning Clare to me and capturing her lips.

"Hey are you guys back together?" Becky asks and I look at Adam amazed that he hadn't said anything yet. Guess Dallas didn't tell the team either because Luke is with her and looking just as curious.

"Yes we're back together, we never should have broken up and she wasn't really dating Owen, they were faking to make me jealous. I freaked out was so angry because I couldn't handle the fact that Clare is pregnant. But I am happy about it now, she's moving in and we're raising the baby together," I announce.

"Wow that was a lot of information so early in the morning," Luke remarks.

"Oh congratulations you're going to have a baby, I'm so happy you're back together! Oh I love babies, I'll be happy to babysit," Becky squeals hugging us both tightly.

"Whoa Becks slow down she's only umm…" Adam pauses looking at Clare.

"Thirteen weeks pregnant, I just started my second trimester," Clare informs everyone.

"So you broke up with Owen then?" Luke asks still confused.

"We were never really dating," Owen clarifies but Luke still looks confused so Owen looks at Clare with a grin. "Told you it would work," he says winking at Clare.

"Yeah a little too well, I think I owe you a punch or two," I comment to Owen.

"Yeah probably, let's go inside," Owen says quickly, moving behind Dallas before I can follow through.

All of us move inside now, we walk to Clare and Adam's lockers. Becky and Luke go to their lockers across the hall and they all start getting out books. When they're done we go to the senior lockers and the rest of us open our lockers. Now that we all have our books we all walk out to the foyer and sit on the steps. Clare sits on the step below me and leans against me with my arms around her.

"Weren't you dating my brother yesterday?" Tris inquires coming up with Maya, Cam, Tori and Zig.

"Actually we were faking Tris, we were never really dating," Owen informs his brother.

"I'm confused," Zig says sitting down, as do the other niners.

"We were trying to make Drew jealous," Owen says.

The niners are still confused so we go over the whole story again; I have a feeling we'll be doing a lot of that today. When the bell rings I walk Adam and Clare to their homeroom, they have the same one. I kiss Clare at the door and then walk to math, a class I have with Jake.

"So she's really pregnant?" Jake asks when I sit down.

"Yeah she's pregnant, thirteen weeks, Helen kicked her out the second she found out, disowned her for it," I growl.

"Helen's a bitch but you turned your back on her the second you found out," Jake counters.

Ouch! Right in the feel bads. "I know, I screwed up too, believe me I know. This isn't an excuse but I'm just a kid and I was scared and angry. We always used protection I just couldn't handle the thought of being a father. I did a terrible thing by abandoning her but I know I screwed up, I will never do it again and I'll spend the rest of my life making it right. Helen doesn't care at all she just kicked Clare out, told her she wasn't her daughter anymore."

"Dad and me are coming over for dinner tomorrow night to show you guys plans for the basement. Helen may have turned her back on Clare but we haven't." Jake says and I smile. "I just wish she would have told me," he adds under his breath but I hear him.

Plenty of other people in the class heard him say Clare was pregnant but it doesn't matter we're telling everyone today anyway. The bell rings and Armstrong starts class, then a student comes in and hands Armstrong a note.

"Mr. Torres, Principal Simpson would like to see you," he says and the class makes noises like I'm in trouble.

I leave class and start walking to the principal's office, Clare appears from around a corner. "Hey what are you doing out of class?" I ask her.

"Principal Simpson wanted to see me," she tells me.

"Yeah me too," I comment holding the note in my hand.

"He must have heard about my pregnancy," she remarks.

We get to Simpson's office and the secretary waves us in, we go to the door and Simpson motions for us to come in and I close the door. We sit down and I take Clare's hand.

"I heard some rumors spreading around school that you were pregnant Clare," Simpson says and I squeeze her hand.

"She is, the child is mine, she's living with us now," I speak for both of us.

"It's true Sir, I was never dating Owen and Drew just needed some time. We're together again and we're raising the child together. Audra and Omar let me move in, they're making some changes to the basement to make it an apartment for us," Clare informs him.

"Good I'm glad to hear it, I just need to know because word will get out and some parents will be concerned. Also as you get farther along you'll probably need some special considerations. How far along are you?" Simpson asks her and I actually feel proud because I know the answer.

"Thirteen weeks," she tells him.

"What about your parents Clare?" Simpson asks and she tenses up, I kiss her temple and squeeze her hand a little more.

"My mom kicked me out and disowned me when she found out, no one in my family is involved," she informs him.

"I just talked to Jake, he might be," I speak up.

"Do you think your mom might try and hurt you?" Simpson questions and now I tense up.

"I think she never wants to see me again," Clare says.

"Okay, I'll inform all your teachers, both of you, of Clare's pregnancy. You two can return to class," Simpson tells us, we smile at him, get up and walk out of the office.

"Do you want me to walk you to class?" I ask Clare.

"No I'll see you at lunch," she replies and then grips my shirt and kisses me.

"I love you," I tell her as she walks down the hall to her class.

She turns back and smiles at me, "I love you Drew."

**(CLARE)**

"I have to use the washroom, I'll meet you in parenting class," I tell Adam when homeroom lets out.

"You alright?" Adam questions.

"I have to pee Adam, not throw up," I reply.

"Okay see you in class," he smiles and walks off.

I walk to the girl's washroom but it's full so I go to the one closer to the office. After I'm done and I'm leaving the washroom I see Eli at the secretary's desk.

"Running late?" I tease.

"Therapy this morning," Eli explains, "what happened to you yesterday, you weren't here after lunch and Adam wouldn't tell me why."

"I got sick at lunch and Owen took me home," I reply.

"But you're okay now?" Eli asks.

"Yes but I'm pregnant," I reveal and Eli's eyes get wide, his mouth dropping open.

"You're…is it Owen's?" Eli inquires seeming to struggle with the concept that I'm pregnant.

"No it's Drew's child and I was never really dating Owen, it was a rouse Owen thought Drew would get jealous a…"

"Hold it," Eli interrupts me, "you've been pregnant this whole time? Drew knew and he was angry about it, he hit you and threw a planter through your window. He was drinking and all that and you want him back?"

"I still love Drew, he didn't take the news well, he freaked out and had a lot of anger he needed to deal with. He didn't mean to hurt me Eli; you've been in a bad place before too and done things you weren't proud of. Drew apologized Eli, he feels bad and he knows he has a lot to make up for but he wants me, and our child. I'm living at his house now, Audra and Omar and going to turn the basement into an apartment for us. If I can forgive Drew then so can you," I assert.

"I still think it's rotten that he walked out on you but I guess he did come around. He better not screw up again though," Eli says as we start walking to our classes. "Hey if you were going to fake date someone why wasn't it me?"

"Eli!"

"What? I'd think that would have driven Drew crazier than you and Owen," Eli comments with a smirk just as we arrive at my class.

I laugh and go into class sitting at the table with Owen and Luke because I'm used to doing so now.

"What was that about?" Owen asks.

"Eli found out I was pregnant," I reply.

"Clare you're pregnant!" Connor exclaims walking into class.

"Yes Connor, the baby is Drew's we're back together and I was never really dating Owen," I tell him quickly.

"And she's moving in," Adam speaks up.

The teacher comes in and we have to read in our text book and listen to the teacher give a lecture which is boring. I'm so bored that I'm actually glad when the bell rings for lunch even though I'm not hungry. I walk out of class with Owen, Adam, Luke, Becky and Connor, we start heading for the caf finding Drew and Bianca coming out of their business leadership class. Drew puts his arms around me and gives me a gentle kiss.

"Let's go to the Dot for lunch," Drew offers.

"Sure but I'm not very hungry," I reply.

"Doesn't matter you need you eat something," Owen says.

All of us walk to the Dot grabbing Dallas and even Eli, Dave and K.C. on the way. We take over most of the café, I order a salad and ginger ale but don't eat all that much. Drew and Owen tell K.C. and Dave all about my pregnancy and the fake relationship and everything. After we eat we walk back to school, hanging out in the courtyard, Drew and most of the other guys eventually get a football and start passing it around while Becky, Adam, Eli and I sit on the picnic tables.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jake asks suddenly from my side.

"I didn't tell anyone Jake, anyway what would it have mattered there's nothing you can do," I comment.

"I could talk to your mom, I could have helped," Jake says.

"Talking to my mom won't do anything; she's already made up her mind. There's nothing for you to help with Jake. I was living with Lucas now I'm moving in with Drew; we're going to raise the baby together. Mom already made her position clear, besides you're already helping by working on the basement with your dad this weekend," I point out.

"I still wish you had told me, I'm your brother," Jake says sitting down.

"She didn't even tell me and my brother is the one that got her pregnant," Adam comments.

"She didn't tell me either but she told Owen." Eli complains.

"I didn't tell Owen he figured it out, we both told Bianca when she started freaking out on us that we were going out, which we weren't. We had to tell her what was going on," I tell them.

"Dad and I will be over tomorrow night to go over the plans for the basement, your mom isn't coming though," Jake tells me.

"Good," I reply as the bell rings.

Some people start heading inside but Drew, Owen, Adam, Bianca, Dallas and I all have a spare period right now. We remain on the picnic table and I lean against Drew, I love the feeling of being back in his arms. Inhaling his scent and feeling his chest as it breathes, for a while I thought I might never feel these things again. Owen is great but I'm in love with Drew and nothing beats being in the arms of the one you love.

"So are you going to have a baby shower and stuff?" Bianca asks.

"Mom will make sure she has a baby shower," Adam says.

"So what are you hoping for, boy or girl?" Adam inquires.

"Honestly I wasn't even sure I was going to keep the baby, I really haven't thought about it," I respond.

"Both are kind of scary, little girls are probably easier, Adam and I got in all kinds of trouble when we were little trying to jump off the roof to be Super Man and other stupid shit. Then again teenage girls scare me but I'll be happy as long as it's healthy," Drew replies and I kiss his jaw.

Talk turns to hockey because Owen and Dallas play in the championship game next week. I start to fall asleep in Drew's arms but the bell rings all too soon. Since Dallas and I both have native studies next and Drew has geography with Owen and Bianca, Drew kisses me before we go back into school. A lingering kiss that makes my lips spark and ignites the fires of lust in my loins. As we're walking to class I start to feel woozy, my vision goes a little blurry and I feel like my heart is pounding. I don't quite feel like throwing up but if this sensation doesn't stop I might vomit. It gets to the point where I can hardly see or walk and I grip onto Dallas' arm making him look at me.

"You alright?" He asks and I nod. "Yeah I don't believe you," he replies.

He moves in front of me, bends down a little and picks me up by the legs so he's giving me a piggyback. I gasp and throw my arms around his neck, the bouncing sensation of the piggyback ride only makes the woozy sensation worse but he takes me all the way to class and I'm glad I'm not walking.

"Don't tell me you broke up with Drew again and you're dating Dallas now," Dave remarks when we come into class.

"No just giving her a piggyback, she wasn't looking so well," Dallas tells him.

"Are you okay Clare?" Becky asks worried.

"I'm fine, just a bit dizzy it's perfectly normal," I assure them.

We sit down and class starts, with time the feeling goes away and by the bell I feel normal again. Dallas, Dave and Becky still walk out of class on either side of me, Dallas keeping one hand on my opposite shoulder, his arm lightly draped across my back like he's waiting to catch me if I fall.

"Hey Gorgeous," Drew smiles when we meet up with him, Owen and Bianca.

"She got dizzy or something earlier, keep an eye on her," Dallas tells Drew.

"She's been getting dizzy or something a lot," Owen speaks up.

"Maybe we should take you back to the doctor," Drew comments in an anxious tone.

"Guys I'm pregnant, I'm building a whole other life, it takes a lot out of a body," I remind them.

"We have to head to practice," Dallas says.

"I'm coming over to do homework so I'll be over when you get home," Bianca tells Dallas.

"Sweet," Dallas grins and takes her by the waist to kiss her.

"I'll check on you after practice," Owen comments giving me a light hug.

We wave to the Ice Hounds, Adam joins us and we drive home with Bianca following. The first that all of us do is get a snack, then we go down to the basement to do homework. Lucas calls to check on me and I tell him about people coming over this weekend to work on the basement, he says he'll be over to help. Dallas brings Owen home with him and Audra orders pizza for all of us for dinner. By the time dinner is done I'm finished with my homework and want a shower, and Drew. I've been horny for the last hour but the basement was full of teenagers. Owen and Bianca both leave after dinner; Dallas has to start on his homework and Eli calls Adam so he disappears into his room.

"I'm kind of tired can we go lay down?" I request of Drew when we're alone with Dallas in the basement.

"Yeah sure," Drew responds closing his book.

We gather our stuff and go up to his room, I drop my stuff on the floor, close and lock his door and put on some music. Drew is sitting sideways on his bed, his legs outstretched and his math book in his lap. I walk over taking the textbook off his lap, straddling his legs and gripping the short hairs at the back of his head. My other hand resting on his shoulder I lure his lips into a feverishly salacious kiss. Drew's hands come to my waist, his lips parting and my tongue slips in, dancing with his tongue. My body moves, undulating above him, yearning to be filled by him, consumed with a desire to feel him. I deepen the kiss and his hands squeeze me just a little tighter, I might never have pulled my lips from his, I was breathing just fine and was relishing the kiss and the feel of his kiss again. Drew however begins to pull away after a few minutes, I don't want to pull out of the kiss and I nip his bottom lip in protest.

"I thought you were tired?" He inquires.

"I lied not tired, horny," I reply kissing him again and running my fingers through his hair as my lips attach to his again but Drew pulls out of the kiss all too fast.

"Okay but don't you think you should…" he starts but I take off my top and kiss him again.

This time I break the kiss, "Talking too much, my hormones are going crazy and I'm horny."

"Yes I can see that," Drew laughs, "you want me to eat you out like Owen did?"

"No you're really my boyfriend I want you to make love to me," I inform him.

"Won't that hurt the baby?" He asks but he's already taking off his shirt.

"Drew I'm thirteen weeks pregnant, our baby is maybe two inches we won't hurt it by making love. No stop arguing I'm pregnant and I want to be made love to," I assert.

"Yes Mistress, you're a lot more demanding when you're pregnant," he chuckles.

I pull at his jeans, opening the fly and yanking them down. Drew kicks off his shoes, sitting to take off his socks, then off comes the rest of his clothes. Now that he's nude, he gets on the bed, crawling over to me, unzipping my skirt and pulling it off my legs. Now he takes off my shoes, his eyes roving over my body and he makes a carnal grin.

"Oh how I missed this body," he smiles his eyes popping with anticipation.

I giggle and pull him down to kiss me; while we're kissing he unhooks my bra and takes it from my body flinging it across the room. His hands grip my breasts, squeezing gently and I moan. Drew rolls my nipples between his fingers until they become hard, he pulls out of the kiss and begins kissing along my neck, down my clavicle and along my side and I giggle. I open my legs, he gets between them, propping himself on his arms and gazing at me. I smile and bite my lip; Drew leans down and kisses my belly very softly, so softly his lips tickle.

"I can't believe there's a little life in there," he says and kisses my belly again.

Drew moves down a little more pulling at my panties, he gets them past my hips and he pauses to lick at my clit. My eyes go half lidded and a shuddering moan comes from my lips. He pulls them down a little more, kissing my inner thighs, I start to twitch, my body writhing in carnal desire and excitement. Finally Drew lifts my legs to pull my panties off all together. I feel him hard now as the head is poking at my pussy lips, I pull in a breath, gripping Drew's lower back as he enters me, thrusting in slowly and we both moan. My legs bend at the knees, my heels digging into the bed and my hips bucking. Drew puts one arm under my lower back, the other being used to keep his weight off me. He starts out slow but now that he's inside me, now that our naked bodies are touching and our hearts beating together we become almost desperate for each other.

Steadily we move faster and faster our bodies moving as one, melding together with the heat we're producing. My nails scratch along his back, our bodies moving in tandem, speeding up together, Drew thrusting deep into me and I moving to take him all in. The build increases, the need to climax becomes almost unbearable. Faster and faster we move, panting with quivering breaths, our bodies trembling and shaking with orgasmic energy. I tense and relax, my body tightening around him until finally I release in climatic eruption! Aware that his family is all home I muffle my orgasmic cry into his shoulder and he does the same only muffling it between my breasts. I go completely still but Drew simply slows down steadily, pulling out only when both our orgasms have dissipated. He pulls out inducing my body to another wave of erotic quaking. I curl on my side and Drew lies on his side next to me, holding me in his arms.

"All better?" He asks and I nod. "Next time you're horny you just need to say so," he grins.

"Everyone was home," I pant trying to catch my breath.

He laughs and kisses my nose, "I love you Clare," he says and then scoots down kissing my belly gently, "and I love you baby."

**Update next Tuesday, possibly with some more sexy time but definitely including the renovation of the basement.**


	10. Darling Please Believe Me

**Ten chapters! Thanks to everyone who reads and especially those that take the time to review.**

**Ch.10 Darling Please Believe Me**

**(DREW)**

"We'll make the laundry closet separate and put in a door here where Dallas' room currently is," Glen tells us. It was Saturday morning, Glen and Jake were here to go over the plans for the basement renovations and we were all sitting around the kitchen table. "That will become the nursery, which will attach by a door to your bedroom, Glen says looking at me and Clare. "To get to the laundry you and Drew will have to go through the nursery, we'll be installing hookups and a washer and dryer up here in the closet behind the kitchen. Now your room and the nursery will be fairly small but at least you'll have privacy while still maintaining the living room and kitchen area."

"It all sounds great, thank you Glen and thank you Jake," Clare smiles.

"We're happy to do it Clare," Glen smiles back.

Neither of them has said a word about Helen since arriving but that's probably for the better.

"We had better get started but Clare you are not allowed to help and you should not be around the loud noises and probably dust," Mom tells her.

"Which is why you're coming with me," Becky informs her and Clare looks a little scared.

"I'll see you later Beautiful," I tell her and take her chin kissing her gently.

"If I can survive a whole day with Becky Baker," she whispers to me before pulling from my embrace.

I kiss her cheek and she stands, after grabbing her purse and coat she says goodbye to everyone else and leaves with Becky. Aside from Glen, Jake, me, Adam, my parents and Dallas several others were here to help including Owen, Lucas, Tris, Luke, Bianca, K.C., Dave, Zig and Cam. We get started right away, first thing to do is get all of my stuff, and the stuff of Clare's that we have here, and get all of it downstairs and outside on the patio so my room is clear. Then we can move Dallas' stuff up to my room and start working on the basement. Glen assures me that with everyone we can get the rooms separated and our stuff moved in today. Jake, Owen, Dallas and I start putting up the wall to what was Dallas's room and will be the nursery.

"So has Helen said anything at all?" I ask Jake.

"No not really and every time we try and bring it up she refuses to talk about it. We kind of just gave up because trying to talk to her was making our lives miserable. Trust me Clare is better off without her mom right now, she could be making Clare's life miserable. You should tell her though that Darcy e-mailed last night and Helen wrote back. I'm not sure what Helen told Darcy, if anything but Clare should probably write to her sister and let her know what's going on from her side," Jake tells me.

"I'll tell her tonight, Darcy should probably know what's going on anyway," I remark.

We manage to get the wall up in about four hours with all of us working on it. It's not a real wall exactly, that is we didn't build bricks floor to ceiling or anything. The wall was fabricated with stud boards and sheets of particle board with sound proofing in between. Glen had put new doors on the laundry closet and better venting to the outside, he'd also set up the new laundry closet upstairs, for the rest of the family, with some help from Dad and Lucas. Everyone else had helped with cleaning or putting on the door between what will be mine and Clare's room and the nursery. We break for lunch and I call Clare to see if she's surviving Becky so far.

"Hey how's it going over there?" She asks.

"Great the nursery is set up, well it doesn't have furniture or anything but it's ready for furniture to go in. The door is up and everything and both laundry closets done, we just took a break to have lunch. Have you killed Becky yet?" I question.

"No, we've been having fun actually. She took me to a spa and we got facials and massages and we just stopped for lunch too. We're going to look at baby stuff after lunch and then go back to her house," she tells me.

"Have fun, I'll see you tonight, I love you," I tell her.

"I love you too," she replies and hangs up.

After lunch it's right back to work, we have one more wall to put up to completely wall off what will become mine and Clare's room. Plus we have to put a door in and get all of our stuff in. We do that first; Glen, Jake, Lucas and Dallas go to Helen's and get all of Clare's stuff out. Meanwhile me and everyone else gets my stuff in the room, the mattress first and then Dallas' dresser since we simply switched dressers. With the mattress in we move in everything else, Clare and I can put it all away later it simply needs to be in from outside right now. Clare and I just need a path to the bed for the moment. Jake and the others return and we get Clare's stuff in, with everything in we start on the final wall and by the time Clare returns we have the door on.

"Wow you guys were busy, our stuff is everywhere but I can tell this is going to be a great little apartment," Clare smiles.

"There's some more work to do, you two have to get all your stuff away and we have lots of finishing touches on but we have tomorrow for that," Glen comments.

"You're all sweaty," Becky complains and shrieks when her brother tries to give her a sweaty hug.

"I like you sweaty," Clare comments fisting my shirt, I grin as she pulls me to her and gives me a wanton kiss.

"It's late everyone get home and get something to eat, thank you all for helping," Mom says to everyone.

Since it's late dad orders some dinner but Clare falls asleep in our bed before dinner ever arrives. I'm sure she's tired from a long day with Becky so I let her sleep and we eat. She's still asleep when I'm done showering and go to bed, I lie on my side and put my arm around her, holding her close and kissing her cheek. She stirs a little but doesn't wake up and I soon fall asleep. I wake up when I feel Clare scramble from the bed, throwing open the door and rushing out to the washroom. I follow her in, brushing her hair back from her face and holding it back. She vomits several times and then flushes the toilet, she props herself against the wall and groans. I run out and get my water bottle from the night stand bringing it to her. She takes several sips and sets it down; she wipes her mouth and then tries to stand but falters doubling over. I grab onto her, putting my arms around her to keep her up and she grips onto me.

"Are you okay?" I ask her in worried voice and she straightens up, erasing all evidence of pain from her beautiful face instantly as if to ease my fears.

"I'm fine Drew, morning sickness that's all and I tried to stand up too fast. I haven't eaten since lunch and I just threw it all up, I got dizzy that's all," she assures me.

"Let's get you back to bed, I know you probably aren't hungry but you should get something in you. Juice or anything, tea and crackers or t…" I'm babbling and she cuts me off with a kiss.

"Let's start with some ginger ale and then if my stomach settles I'll try and eat something," she tells me.

I grin and pick her up in my arms taking her back to bed, I lay her down and tell her to stay then I go upstairs to the kitchen and start looking for ginger ale. But don't find any so I start digging through the pantry and all the cupboards.

"Dude what are you doing?" Dallas questions coming down to the kitchen with a yawn.

"Clare hasn't eaten since lunch and she just threw all of that up, she needs to have something in her and all she wants is ginger ale and I can't find any," I explain while still looking through the cupboards.

"Dude chill!" Dallas says grabbing my arm and pulling me away from the cupboards, "I'll run to the drug store and get some ginger ale for Clare go be with your girl."

"Okay thanks," I smile.

"No problem we'd have to get up soon anyway, tell Clare I just have to throw on some clothes and drive down there, it'll take me maybe fifteen minutes."

I nod and go back downstairs while Dallas goes upstairs to get dressed. "We have no ginger ale, Dallas is going to the store to get some," I tell Clare when I get back to our room.

"He didn't need to do that," she responds.

"You wanted ginger ale, you'll always have everything you want," I tell her lying next to her and putting my hand on her belly.

We stay that way a few minutes but then she moves. "We should probably get dressed and you should eat breakfast," she says kissing me and standing up.

We get dressed and I watch her very closely, Dallas returns and brings Clare down a bottle of ginger ale. She sips at it while the rest of us eat breakfast; she does eat a piece of toast after her ginger ale. People start gathering at the house not long after we've eaten. There are less people today but there is also less to do. Owen, Lucas, Bianca, Eli, Jake and Glen all come over still, and of course everyone who lives here. Mom and Dad have a new washer and dryer for upstairs; Glen and Jake install shelves on the walls in our room and the nursery. Owen and Adam help me and Clare put things away in our room, while everyone else helps to arrange the living room and move out the X-box and video games. The last thing to do is paint but Clare shouldn't be around the paint fumes so it's decided that she'll sleep in Adam's room for a couple of nights and completely avoid the basement until the paint fumes have passed. Adam will sleep on the living room sofa and I'll of course share a bed with Clare. I help Clare upstairs and get her settled with some food while Mom and Glen go to pick out paint colors. Since we don't know whether it will be a boy or a girl they get white and yellow for the nursery. Mom decides on powder blue and white for our room, which is fine with both me and Clare. We get everything painted that night, stopping to eat and when it's done we thank everyone many times for helping.

"You okay, you've been watching Clare closely all day?" Owen asks as we're cleaning up and gathering clothes and essentials for me and Clare.

"Yeah but she was throwing up again this morning, then she got dizzy. I should have been paying attention; I shouldn't have been so caught up in my anger and fears of what my family thought. I'm worried, I know I don't have much experience with pregnancy but this doesn't seem right. She keeps telling me it's normal but I'm worried," I confess to Owen.

"Yeah me too, you should see about getting her to a doctor sooner than her next appointment. I know you feel guilty for how you reacted and how you treated her when you first found out, and you should, but don't wallow in your guilt be there for her now. And if you need help I'm here, our relationship was fake and I always thought of her as your girl but I do care about her," Owen tells me.

"I know and thanks," I smile at my friend, "but I still owe you a punch or two."

Owen laughs and shoves me playfully, we finish gathering what Clare and I need then take it upstairs. Owen says goodnight to Clare and hugs her then me before leaving. Clare and I start getting ready for bed, we say goodnight to my family and Dallas then she goes into the washroom. I wait until she's out to go in and brush my teeth, when I go back to the bedroom Clare is sitting on the end of the bed, her hand to her chest and slightly hunched over.

"Clare?" I ask rushing to her side and kneeling before her.

"I'm alright Drew I just got a little dizzy," she tells me.

"You've been getting dizzy a lot," I tell her brushing a curl behind her ear.

"I'm okay Drew, let's just go to bed," she insists.

She smiles again, forcing it across her face and caressing mine, she's trying to ease my fears and distract me. I scrunch my face at her, I'm sure that something more is wrong but every time I bring it up she says it's stress. When I don't move for a minute she kisses me and I give in. I kiss her temple and turn out the lights, we get into Adam's bed and I wrap her in my arms, afraid to let her go.

**(CLARE)**

"Good luck tonight, we'll be cheering for you in the stands," I say to Owen before he gets on the bus to go to the arena for the championship game, and the last hockey game of the season.

Owen hugs me and gets on the bus then Drew takes my hand and we walk to his car. Everyone was coming to the game tonight since it was the last one; Adam and Becky were riding with us. Bianca was coming of course; even K.C. and Dave were going, along with Tris and Maya. Audra and Omar would be there, as well as Owen's parents Lydia and Ron, and most of the other parents. We had to get there early and then fight through the crowd to find out seats. Drew and I were in the same row as Adam, Becky and Bianca, Drew and I sit on the end, mostly so that I can get out to the washroom should I need to.

It feels like we sit there a very long time before the game actually begins but finally the music starts. The teams skate out, the national anthem plays and the game begins. Owen doesn't play at all in the first period but I enjoy watching Luke, Cam and Dallas none the less. Bianca and Adam go to get popcorn and drinks before second period begins, I'm not hungry but Adam gets me a Sprite and I sip at it. Owen doesn't play in the second period either but the Ice Hounds do get ahead by three points. Before the second period ends I go to use the washroom and Bianca comes with me. In the third period Bo…or Ingvar, I'm still not sure which is which, gets put in the penalty box and suspended from the rest of the game for excessive fighting, which seems like an oxymoron in hockey, and Owen takes his place.

"YAY! OWEN GO OWEN!" I cheer standing up and cheering for my friend.

He looks over at me and waves and I wave back, Drew is laughing as he pulls me back in my seat.

"You're still flirting," he says with a slightly admonishing tone.

"I wasn't flirting, I'm happy for my friend, I love you," I tell Drew.

He grins placing his fingers under my chin and pulling me to him for a soft kiss. "I know that and I love you too," Drew smiles.

I sit watching the game for a few minutes but then Owen scores a goal and I jump up cheering and screaming for him. At least until my heart feels like it's pounding hard and slow but racing all at once, like it's trying to beat through my chest and trying desperately to pump blood. I put my hand on my chest instinctually and sink back into my seat. Drew puts his arm around me and the others are looking at me with concern.

"I'm okay just got…woozy," I tell them, all though woozy seems like the wrong word but I don't think there is one for what I feel.

"Do you want to go home?" Drew asks taking my hand.

I take a deep breath and smile at the man I love, the father of my child, "No Owen is playing and I want to watch, I'm okay honestly I just need to not cheer so hard."

"I'll make sure you stay in your seat," Drew says and kisses my cheek.

Owen scores a second goal and I cheer but not as loud this time. The Ice Hounds win 10-9 and the Ice Hounds fans cheer, when the celebration is over at the arena we return to DeGrassi for even bigger celebration. Our school is decked out in black red and white, everyone is celebrating and the Ice Hounds, when they arrive, are treated like kings. I find Owen, hug him tightly and kiss his cheek, I also hug Dallas, Luke and Cam. Drew stays close to me and for a couple of hours I have a wonderful time talking, mingling and even eating a little. Then I start to feel weak, my heart starts pounding again, I get dizzy and leave Drew to go to the washroom. I hardly make it to the hall, gripping the wall just outside the door and sort of crumpling over.

"Clare?" Maya's voice makes me look up.

"Not feeling so good," I tell her.

"Cam get Drew and Owen now," Maya commands him, Maya helps ease me to the floor and then everything goes black.

"Clare," hearing my name from the lips of my true love brings me back to the world.

"What happened?" I question as Drew helps me to sit up.

"You fainted," Drew replies picking me up and I notice a crowd around us now.

"Where are we going?" I inquire as he starts walking.

"I'm taking you home," he tells me.

"But I…"

"Go home Clare you need to rest," Owen asserts.

People tell me to feel better and others are whispering. I can see Audra, Omar, Eli and Adam in my peripheral vision and assume they are all coming home with us. Along with Owen who is walking next to us wearing his coat and a very concerned look, he's also carrying my purse and coat. Drew gets me to his car, Adam unlocks the door and Drew sets me in.

"We'll see you at home," Adam says.

"Drew everyone doesn't need to come home," I tell him when he gets in the driver's seat.

"Everyone wants too," Drew replies.

We're silent on the way home but Drew won't let go of my hand, he doesn't let me walk into the basement, now our apartment, either. He insists on carrying me and he sets me on the sofa.

"Drew I'm okay, keep everyone from checking on me, I'll go to bed, get a good night's sleep an…"

"But you're not okay Clare," Drew cuts me off, "at least I don't think you are and neither does Owen. I know you keep insisting you are but you get dizzy a lot, you're still sick in the mornings and throughout the day, pretty much every day. You're often pale and you look like you're in pain a lot, like something isn't right. I see it in your eyes Clare, the fear that something isn't right. I want you to see a doctor, I'm sure that clinic is fine but I want you to see my mom's doctor. If all of this is normal, if it's all just because I stressed you out so much at the beginning that it's taking its toll on your body then we need to know so I can keep you from ever being stressed again. And if something is wrong," Drew says taking my hand, "then we need to know so that we can do something about it, I will do anything for you Clare, please we need to know if something is wrong, do this for me."

I look at Drew, his eyes are pleading, wet with tears but his love for me deep within them. I squeeze his hand and sigh, I have to admit that the thought something may be wrong crossed my mind as well. More than crossed my mind, I can feel it, in my bones, deep within me I feel it but I don't want to admit it and I've denied it, to myself, to everyone.

"Okay, I'll go to the doctor; we'll call and make me an appointment tomorrow. For now can you to tell everyone that I'm tired and we're going to bed, if you'll lie with me that is," I request.

"Anything Clare, can you get ready for bed or should I stay with you?" Drew asks.

"I can get ready for bed and if I need you I'll call you," I assure him.

Drew grins now and I smile, he kisses my lips very soft and tender, then he gets up to go upstairs and I start getting ready for bed. Drew comes back downstairs just when I'm getting into bed.

"Mom is going to call first thing in the morning. I'm just going to brush my teeth and then will come hold you all night," Drew tells me kissing my temple, then my nose, each of my cheeks and finally my lips.

I smile and he goes into the washroom, I lie on my side and put my hand on my belly. Drew is in bed with me just a couple minutes later and encircles me in his arms, embracing me close. He works his hands under mine on my belly and kisses my neck. As tired as I am it still takes me a long time to fall asleep because I'm worried about what might be wrong. Drew and I wake up late the next morning, guess neither of us slept very well. After we get dressed we go upstairs together, the rest of the family including Dallas and Eli, are at the table eating breakfast.

"Sit down Clare I'll get you something to eat, Drew turn the kettle on so I can make her some tea," Audra instructs. I sit down on the other side of Adam and he gives me a hug, Owen, Eli, Dallas and Omar all give me sympathetic looks like I'm dying. After turning on the kettle Drew gets breakfast for himself and then sits down on the other side of me. "I called Dr. Davis, my OB/GYN, and she's working at the hospital today. After telling her what you'd been going through she thought we'd better bring you down so after breakfast we can go," Audra tells me setting down my tea for me.

"Thank you Audra but would you mind if just Drew and I went down? I don't want everyone to sit there worrying with us it will probably just stress me out more," I point out.

"Yes of course Sweetie, that's probably best anyway," Audra smiles.

"Just keep us informed," Owen requests.

As soon as Drew is done with breakfast and I've eaten some toast and a little fruit Audra ushers us out the door. Drew drives us to Toronto Western and we tell the nurse that we're here to see Dr. Davis. Of course Audra called ahead and the nurse has been expecting us. We're taken up to maternity, given a room and the nurse hands me a hospital gown.

"Dr. Davis is on rounds so she'll only be able to see you as she has time but you should be comfortable in here and just let us know if you need anything," the nurse says before leaving.

I feel like I'm being checked into the hospital already but I change into the gown and get on the bed. Drew sits with me and now we wait, and wait and wait some more, finally after nearly an hour a woman with greying black hair and a kindly face enters the room.

"Hello I'm Caroline Davis, you must be Clare and you're Andrew of course. I helped bring you into this world," the doctor smiles shaking our hands. "Sorry for the terrible wait but I'm on duty and I felt you should come in right away so please tell me everything either of you have been concerned about," Dr. Davis says sitting down in a rolling chair near the exam table.

"She's always sick, like throwing up, every time she eats and even when she hasn't. She's getting dizzy a lot and she's passed out a bunch of times," Drew tells her before I can even open my mouth.

"You're 15 weeks along is that right Clare?" Dr. Davis asks and I nod. "Having entered your second trimester you shouldn't be having so much morning sickness. How often does it come and how severe is it?"

"Well it kind of comes always and it's…" I almost say not too bad but then I see Drew's face and I sigh. "It's pretty bad, I'm hardly keeping anything down and I don't usually want to eat anything other than maybe tea or toast."

Dr. Davis looks at my chart a minute and then has me get on the scale before continuing. "How often are you dizzy?" Dr. Davis asks.

"At least once a day it seems like," Drew replies.

"Not every day, some days I'm not dizzy at all and other days I get dizzy two or three times but I'm not eating much like I said," I remind her.

"Do you know how many times you've fainted?" Dr. Davis questions while guiding me to lie back on the table and beginning a physical exam.

"Not sure really, I wasn't really counting, five…maybe a little more," I reply.

"How about any pain in your abdomen?" Dr. Davis asks.

"No, no pain there," I shake my head.

"Pain anywhere else?" She questions.

"No not pain exactly, but sometimes my heart pumps really hard, so hard it shakes my ribs. Or feels like it's beating too fast, like a humming bird's wings, I usually get dizzy or kind of woozy then," I tell her.

"Okay Clare, I have to get back to rounds but I'm going to have a resident come in and draw some blood. Then you'll be taken to cardiology for a couple of tests and when you come back I'll bring in a tech for an ultrasound and sonogram," Dr. Davis tells us.

"Cardiology? You think something is wrong with my heart?" I inquire and Drew goes pale.

"What you're describing sounds like a heart mummer, it's not uncommon for heart mummers to occur or become more prevalent during pregnancy. A lot of women have very mild ones from birth but are entirely unaware until they become pregnant and their hearts have to pump extra blood to get it to the baby. I don't want you to worry unnecessarily though, I am calling for several tests just to be safe but it may come back that it's really just stress. I'll be back as soon as I can and if you need anything press the call button," Dr. Davis says and leaves the room.

"This is my fault, I abandoned you and yelled at you, I was so angry and your first two months were nothing but stress," Drew laments squeezing my hand tightly.

"Drew we don't know that it is stress or a combination of things. Anyway you weren't the only cause of stress for me but you're here now, let's not worry until there is something to worry about because that will stress me out," I tell him.

"I promise to do everything I can to keep you from ever getting stressed again," Drew tells me.

"I know you will," I smile just as a young doctor comes in to get my blood.

They take three vials of blood and then an orderly comes in with a wheelchair. He takes me to cardiology and Drew follows of course. I'm given an EKG and then they do a sonogram of my heart. When all that is done I'm sent back to the room I was in before and a technician comes in to do a sonogram of my belly. The technician doesn't say very much but does make some interesting faces and prints out at least a dozen pictures before leaving. The resident that came to draw my blood comes in to say that we can go get some lunch and Dr. Davis will call us later this afternoon to meet again. So we drive home and tell everyone else what happened and what little we know, Audra makes us lunch and we eat with everyone then we hang out in the basement with Dallas, Bianca, Owen, Eli and Adam until the hospital calls and says Dr. Davis would like to meet with us now so Drew and I drive back to the hospital.

"Thanks for coming back in, so I went over your tests and there are a couple things going on. First of all you're anemic, anemia is fairly common in pregnant women and it's an easy fix I'll prescribe you an iron supplement and just follow the instructions. We will probably be able to decrease the dosage after a few months but we'll start with a fairly high dose for now because your iron levels are dangerously low. Secondly you do have a pretty significant heart mummer caused by a mitro-valve prolapse," Dr. Davis tells me.

"What does that mean? Is she going to be okay?" Drew asks with painful anxiety in his voice.

"She'll be just fine Drew, it means that one of the valves on your heart doesn't sit quite right, it's slightly twisted and askew. I know that sounds terrible but you can live a perfectly healthy long life, however when your body is stressed and your body is working hard to pump blood it can put some strain on your heart. It's most likely something you've had for several years if not from birth but was only detected now, which as I said is quite common. Those feelings of your chest pounding or the rapid heartbeats like humming bird wings are actually palpitations. The prolapse can be resolved with minimally invasive surgery but not while you're pregnant it puts too much risk on the baby. Unfortunately I can't just prescribe you a pill for the mitro-valve prolapse but it's not life threatening and shouldn't affect your life very much you just have to be careful, especially while pregnant. Exercise is good and of course recommended but nothing too rigorous."

"Does that mean we can't have sex?" Drew questions and I shake my head because of course that was his first thought.

"Intercourse and other sexual activity is fine Drew just be cautious especially while pregnant. Listen to your body and if you start to feel weak then stop. The more rigorous the cardio the harder your heart has to pump and it's already working hard because of your valve and then doubly hard because you're pregnant."

"That's fine I don't mind doing all the work during sex," Drew grins and I have to hide my face in my hands as I blush a deep red.

"The nausea and morning sickness are I believe a combination of stresses on your body and emotional stresses that you suffered early in the pregnancy even if those have improved. The morning sickness should begin to dissipate but we'll keep an eye on it, given your age preeclampsia is a concern but you're blood pressure was actually quite low so I'm not worried about that just yet and you aren't carrying multiples. So here is a prescription for your iron supplement and the card for the clinic I work from, I'd like you to call on Monday and set up an appointment for two weeks so we can see how you're doing. Okay any questions?" Dr. Davis asks.

We ask her a couple of questions, Drew wants to know what preeclampsia is and I ask how much my activity is restricted. Dr. Davis also recommends that if I can't eat we get some nutritional shakes so that I'm at least getting protein and nutrients into in some form. We leave the hospital for Drew's car and I turn to him to remind him to stop at the drug store.

"So we can stop at the drug store down the street and ge…"

He grasps my face holding it gently and crushes his lips to mine; the kiss is tender but hard, filled with passion, love and…fear.

"I'm sorry Clare, I should have been there, this is my fault but I won't let anything happen to you," he says and kisses me again before I can answer.

"Drew this isn't your fault and stop sounding like I'm dying. You heard Dr. Davis both things are very common with pregnant women, she just wants to keep an eye on me. You were a large part of my stress but not anymore and you're making up for it, I know how hard you're trying. But I'm young and I'm pregnant and things are going to come up, you can't blame yourself for all of them. Let's go by the drug store to fill the prescription and pick up some shakes, then we can go home and tell everyone what the doctor said," I assert.

Drew brushes a strand of hair behind my ear and kisses my nose, "I know I left you but you are my light, my bright star in a dark night, the shining jewel amongst the other treasures of my life, if anything ever happened to you," Drew is saying and then puts one hand on my belly, "or our child it would kill me. I love you so much Clare."

I smile elatedly gripping the back of his neck and joining our lips for another kiss of passionate love.

**Update next Tuesday probably starting with them getting home.**


	11. Out of This Swan Dive, To Your Arms

**Did you all get tonight's twitter clue?**

**Ch. 11 Out of This Swan Dive, To Your Arms**

**(DREW)**

I park at home and rush around to the passenger seat to help Clare out of the car. She gives me a bit of an annoyed look but doesn't say anything; she does kiss my cheek when we're out of the car.

"What did the doctor say?" Mom asks as soon as we're in the house.

"I think we'd better tell everyone at once, I assume Eli, Owen, Adam, Bianca and Dallas are all still here?" Clare comments.

"Yes they didn't want to be up here with Dad and I talking so they're watching movies in the basement," Mom tells us.

"You sit on the sofa I'll go get everyone," I command. Clare sits down; Mom goes to the stairs and yells upstairs for Dad to come down. I open the door to the basement and go down halfway until I can see into the basement. "Hey you guys want to come upstairs," I announce and they all look over at me. The five of them follow me upstairs and I sit on the sofa wrapping my arm around Clare. Owen sits on the other side of her, Adam on the arm next to me, Bianca on the arm next to Owen. My parents stand while Eli and Dallas it on the coffee table. "Clare's sick…" I start and Clare interrupts me.

"Not sick, I don't have a virus Drew. The doctor said I do have a heart mummer, mitro-valve prolapse actually, which means one of the valves on my heart doesn't sit quite right. She told us it was nothing to worry about, I could live a perfectly long and happy life but I get palpitations sometimes and dizzy because my heart is working so hard. She also said I have anemia, another reason I get dizzy, she wants me to watch my diet and prescribed an iron supplement which we picked up, along with some nutrition shakes since I don't usually feel like eating. She was concerned but told me take it easy and listen to my body, know my limits basically. She also said preeclampsia was a risk but my blood pressure was very low so she wasn't too worried about that. We'll call the clinic she works at on Monday and make an appointment for two weeks from now. It's things that need to be monitored and I can't over exert myself but nothing that's life threatening for me or the baby."

"We'll all help," Adam tells me after everyone is silent for a minute.

"Yeah of course we will," Owen agrees.

"Clare you should go rest downstairs and I'll start thinking about dinner, are all you kids staying?" Audra asks.

Everyone nods and I stand helping Clare off the sofa, I walk with my arm around her all the way down the stairs.

"You should lie down and get some rest, try to nap an…" Clare puts her hand at the back of my neck, stands on her tip toes and silences me with a kiss.

"I'm not tired Drew I don't want to nap, I want to spend time with my friends. I know you're scared but none of this is life threatening, stop treating me like I'm made of glass, or too fragile to do anything," she admonishes.

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried, I just got you back I don't want to lose you," I confess.

"You won't," she says taking my hand and pulling me to the sofa.

We sit down, surrounding her, and Adam turns on the TV, we don't say much just sit there watching TV for a while. Then Eli finds an old B movie and we all start making fun of it, Clare included. When she suddenly gets up I grab her hand and cock an eyebrow at her wondering why she's trying to do something for herself.

"I'm thirsty," she responds.

"Sit I'll get you some water," I insist pulling her to sit on the sofa again while I stand.

"Drew I can get water," she responds in a slightly annoyed tone.

"I know but you're supposed to take it easy as much as you can, so when you're with me I don't want you lifting a finger," I inform her kissing her forehead before I go upstairs. Mom's cooking dinner, casserole of some kind, she looks at me and gives me this sympathetic smile. "Clare's thirsty," I tell her as if I need to explain my reason for going to the fridge.

"We'll have to make sure she's drinking plenty of water and getting enough nutrition. She should get her appetite back soon, probably some cravings too. Make sure she's getting her vitamins every day and some exercise," Mom says in the slightly frantic yet take charge voice she always uses when she feels helpless.

"Mom I'm scared, I have no idea what to do or how to help her. I know I walked away and left her but I regretted that the minute I did it and now I'm afraid I'm going to lose her. I don't know how to protect her," I confide in my mom.

"Oh honey," Mom says putting her arms around me for a tight hug, the kind only a mother can give. "Love her, be there for her, listen to her, do your best to get her anything she needs, hold her and be her rock. That's what you do for her, how you protect her. You can't do anything about what's happening in her body but you can make her life easier and happier. Now that you're back together you both seem much happier and the less stress she has the easier it will be on her body and the baby," Mom advises.

"I know, I'll do all of that and do everything I can to make sure that she's not stressed anymore. I better get this water down to Clare or she might think I ran off again," I remark and Mom smiles. "Thanks Mom, for everything," I kiss her cheek and go downstairs with Clare's water.

"You go to the Yukon for that water?" Owen jokes when I get back downstairs.

"Sorry I was talking to Mom," I explain opening the water and handing it to Clare.

She kisses my cheek and takes a few sips of water; we continue watching TV with everyone, mostly making fun of really bad movies from the 50's, 60's and 70's. When dinner is ready we go up and make ourselves plates but eat in the basement watching movies. Anyone that doesn't live here leaves a little before midnight. Clare and I say goodnight to my family and Dallas then start getting ready for bed. She begins to undress and then stops, sitting on the bed with her hand to her chest.

"Clare?" I question in a worried tone rushing to her side.

"I'm okay Drew just palpitations, they'll pass in a minute," she assures me.

"Can I do anything for you? Water? Get your pajamas? Anything?" I ask quickly.

She smiles at me and strokes my face, "Just sit with me and hold me."

"As long as you like," I grin sitting next to her on the bed and putting my arm around her.

She lays her head on my chest, takes my other hand and stays that way for a few minutes. Then lets out a breath it sounds like she's been holding for several minutes, she puts her head up, kisses my cheek and stands up. We finish getting ready for bed and when we're in bed I wrap her in my arms and hold her close.

"Good night Drew, I love you," she says cuddling into me.

"Good night My Shining Jewel, I love you," I reply.

I feel her smile against my chest and soon she drifts to sleep, I lie awake worried about her. I can't help it; everything the doctor said is going through my head and making me distressed with worry and "what ifs". What if it's too much for Clare's body? What if the heart condition is more serious than she thought? What if Clare stressed out or over does it? Eventually I do fall asleep but wake up a short time later after a nightmare. My eyes shoot open and I gasp but I don't wake Clare. Gently getting her off me I get out of bed and go upstairs sitting on the sofa.

"Drew?" My brother's voice makes me look over my shoulder at the stairway.

"What are you doing up?" I question.

"I could ask you the same thing," he counters as he sits next to me on the sofa.

"I was asleep but I had a bad dream about the pregnancy going bad and losing the baby," I tell him.

"The doctor said this stuff was normal right? None of it is life threatening and we just have to watch her, and we will. She's not alone Drew, you're not alone, you never were. Me, Eli, Owen, Bianca, Dallas, Mom and Dad, we'll all watch her and make sure she doesn't over exert herself . We know what's going on now, all of us and we can help her and you. You've always been strong for everyone else but if you're scared let us help, let us be your strength," Adam tells me.

"Thanks Adam," I grin hugging my younger but wiser brother.

"Yeah now get back to sleep I just came down for some water," he says.

I get up and go back to the basement, opening our bedroom door and crawling back into bed with Clare.

"Drew?" Clare yawns turning over a little when I get back in bed.

"Go back to sleep," I tell her lying down next to her and putting my arm around her.

She puts her forehead on my chest and nuzzles into me a bit, "Where were you?"

"Sorry, had a bad dream and I didn't want to wake you," I apologize combing my fingers into her hair and kissing her forehead.

She puts her hand on my chest and drifts back to sleep after a few minutes. I hold her until exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep. We sleep late, only waking up when I smell Mom making breakfast, Clare gets up to use the washroom and I toss some clothes on waiting for her. Actually ready to rush to her side if she needs me, gets dizzy, starts throwing up or anything else, but she exits the washroom a couple minutes later and smiles at me. She goes to the little closet that Glen made for us, her clothes take up 99.9% of the closet, I only have a couple dress shirts hanging in there, and she starts getting dressed. I wait for her and we go upstairs together, Mom made pancakes and Clare actually nibbles at one after she has some tea. We spend the rest of the day hanging out with Adam, Dallas, Bianca, Owen and Eli, just watching TV and playing video games in the basement but I don't want Clare doing anything. She doesn't eat much but I make sure that she takes her vitamins and iron supplement and that she drinks a nutritional shake. She does pretty well but of course we barely let her get off the sofa, tomorrow we have school and I don't know how she'll do. At least we both sleep through the night but she wakes up Monday morning by rushing to the washroom to throw up her dinner from last night, what little she ate anyway.

"We can stay home," I offer handing her some water.

"No we can't, I've been feeling this way for almost three months now Drew and I've been going to school. Now at least we know what's going on, I promise to eat and take it easy, and I know that you, Adam, Owen and everyone else will keep a close eye on me and make sure that I do. You should go up and eat breakfast, I'm going to start getting ready," she tells me kissing my cheek.

"I'm not leaving you, we'll get ready together and you need to eat too," I remind her.

She smiles and we walk to the bedroom again, once we're ready for school we go upstairs to eat breakfast. While Adam, Dallas and I eat bagels and cereal for breakfast, Clare has a piece of toast and tea but at least she ate. I grab her prescriptions before leaving and her backpack so she doesn't strain herself. We get in my car and I drive us to school, pulling into the parking lot just after Owen. He and Tris get out of the car and Owen opens Clare's door, she hugs him and Tris while I get out and grab her backpack. He asks how she's feeling and she tells him fine, we start walking into school together and when we get to the steps Katie and Fiona grab Dallas.

"Hey Clare, how do you feel?" Fiona asks.

"Fine," she responds.

"That's what she always says but the doctors worried about some stuff," Adam informs them.

"It's not a big deal; she said both things were very common for pregnancy. I'm anemic and I have a heart mummer, I just have to take it easy," she responds.

"Well I'm sure Drew and everyone will make sure that you do," Katie says.

"All of us will," Fiona speaks up and Clare smiles at her then Fiona looks at Dallas. "Dallas we thought we should have a victory dance, not like Friday's after party but an actual dance. We were thinking we'd theme it 40's like the victory dances after world war II but everyone has to come in Ice Hounds colors," Fiona announces.

"Sounds great, I look mighty sexy in a suit," Dallas grins and Clare giggles, "when are we having it?"

"Friday," Fiona responds.

"Sounds like fun, maybe I can get Drew to swing dance," Clare smiles.

"Not likely," I shake my head, "anyway you're supposed to take it easy."

"Yeah but I can attend a dance, it's not a marathon, can I have my backpack now I need to get books before class," she requests.

"No I'll carry you're backpack," I insist and put my arm around her shoulders.

"See you guys later," Katie says.

Adam, Owen and Tris walk in with us; Tris leaves us when he sees his friends. When we get to Clare's locker we find Becky, Luke, Dave, K.C. and Connor. While I open Clare's locker and get out her books she tells them what the doctor said and they all promise to help look out for her too. She doesn't want to come to my locker so I give her backpack to Adam.

"Be careful, if anything happens…"

"Drew I'll be fine," she says with an annoyed tone as she cuts me off.

"I just got you back and now I might lose you, you can't blame me for being worried," I defend myself.

"I think it's sweet that you're worried but I'm not going to break just being at school and you're not going to lose me Drew I promise," she grins standing on her toes to give me a chaste kiss, "unless you do something stupid again."

"Never again My Shining Jewel, I love you," I tell her.

"I love you too," she grins kissing me once more before walking off with my brother and her other friends.

"I'm worried too but Clare's strong, she'll be okay and we're all looking out for her," Owen says as we start walking to our lockers.

"Plus I think you're getting on her nerves," Luke chides as he follows us.

"Yeah I know I am but I can't help it, I'm in love with the girl."

**(CLARE)  
**

"I'm surprised Drew let you out of his sight," Maya comments as Bianca parks downtown.

"He's just worried," I respond getting out of the car.

It was Wednesday and the dance was in two days so Bianca, Becky, Maya and I had decided to come shopping in the vintage/thrift shops downtown so we could find something appropriate to wear.

"He broke up with you and got all pissed off, he didn't seem to be too worried at that point," Becky retorts.

"He was pissed because he was scared, he didn't know how to deal. He was still worried," Bianca says in Drew's defense.

"He knows he made a mistake and he's making up for it," I tell them as we walk into the first store.

"Are you guys going to get married?" Becky questions while looking at a black and white striped dress that can pass for 1940's style.

"We haven't talked about it, I think we're just concentrating on the pregnancy for now," I reply.

I look at a few dresses but none of them will fit over my chest and none of them are black, red or white. Becky ends up getting the striped dress and Bianca buys a hair pin but that's it so we move on to another store. This one has a black dress with white polka-dots and ruffled cup sleeves which is very 1940's style and buttons up the front. When I try it on it actually fits so I get it and start looking at the shoes but don't find anything I like. Maya is trying on a white dress and Becky is looking at the jewelry so I sit down with Bianca.

"So do you want to get married?" Bianca questions.

"Yeah one day but I never thought about getting married at 17, of course never thought I'd find myself pregnant at 16 either. Drew always wore a condom, it never even crossed our minds," I confess.

"Have you thought about marrying Drew?" She inquires.

"I had in the past but for a while I thought we might never get back together and now we're just worried about getting through the pregnancy. Until a couple of weeks ago all I wanted was to be Drew's girlfriend again. I haven't thought about the possibility of being his wife in a long time," I respond.

"But you're happy with Drew? Still in love with him?" She queries.

"Yes I never fell out of love with him and I'm happy with him. He's making up for what he did and being very nurturing and attentive now," I tell her.

"So if Drew asked you to marry him you'd say yes," she states and I pinch my eyebrows together.

"Why? Has Drew talked about proposing?" I ask.

"Not that I'm aware of but I can talk to him if you like," she offers.

"No we're happy right now and Drew's worried about me and the baby so much I don't want to throw a wedding into the works," I reply just as Becky and Maya come over so we cease our conversation.

"We're done let's go to another store," Becky announces.

We check out several more stores and all of us find outfits that will work for the dance. I have the black and white dress and found a pair of scarlet colored Mary Jane's I'll wear with white socks. Becky has her striped dress and she's going to wear white flats. Bianca found a red dress that is 1940's style and says she's going to wear black heels. Maya got a black dress and a little black hat, the kind with a tiny veil that you pin on. Bianca drives each of us home, she lives closer to Maya but she still drops me off last.

"So after the baby is born you'll talk to Drew about getting married?" She asks when we're alone in the car.

"I don't know Bianca, really I haven't thought about it, I am in love with Drew but we weren't talking about marriage before I got pregnant, we were just high school sweethearts," I point out.

"Yes but having a baby together is a bigger step than getting married, a whole human being is bigger than one day to affirm your love and commitment in front of friends and family," Bianca counters.

"You have a point but I still want to just concentrate on being pregnant and having a baby," I tell her just as she pulls up to the Torres house.

I say goodbye to Bianca, grab my bags and get out of the car, I don't need to get my backpack because Drew took it home with him. I go through the basement and Drew is sitting on the sofa doing homework. He looks up, smiles and hops up to grab by my bags.

"Looks like you found some stuff," Drew says taking my bags into our bedroom.

"Yep I have my outfit, where's my backpack I need to start on my homework," I comment.

"You can start on your homework after dinner, which should be ready soon, for now you should rest. You were out walking around all afternoon after a full day of school," Drew says pulling me to the sofa.

"And I feel fine," I argue.

"Good but you're still going to rest," he asserts putting his arm around me.

I give in and lean against him, he turns on the TV and we watch for a short time before Audra calls us up for dinner. Everyone talks about their day, we tell Audra and Omar about the dance. Dallas says Owen and the rest of the guys, including Drew, Adam and Eli, will be renting 40's style clothes from a costume shop downtown and most of them are going tomorrow after school. I'm not that hungry but I eat a little chicken and a little salad. After dinner Drew and I go down to our room so he can finish his homework and I can do mine. I get my parenting homework done pretty easily and then start on my native studies homework. However I soon get bored and that seems to lead to horny, I begin to shift as a tickle builds between my legs. After a few minutes of trying to get my mind off of it and squelch this desire I give up, setting my book down and looking at Drew, biting my lip as I picture him taking me and ravishing my body. He's lying on his stomach typing on his laptop and doesn't realize I'm looking at him. I turn and crawl across the bed on my hands and knees, closing his laptop while he's looking at a reference in his book.

"Uh what are you doing?" Drew questions.

"Distracting you from your homework," I reply standing on my knees and unbuttoning my blouse.

"I like distractions," he grins turning on his back and taking my waist so I'm straddled over him.

Reaching up he begins unbuttoning the rest of my blouse, helping me get it off and tossing it against the wall in our small room. He unhooks my bra with one finger, and drops it to the floor. Gripping his shirt I get it over his head, then open his fly and unzip his jeans. Grabbing my hips he turns us so that I'm lying on my back and he begins unzipping my skirt. Pulling it down my legs and tossing it behind his head, then he swiftly removes my panties, hopping up so he can get off the rest of his clothes and leaves them in a pile on the floor. Pouncing back on the bed between my legs, his lips ensnare mine as two of his fingers wriggle into me; I moan and deepen the kiss.

After working my hole with his fingers for a few minutes he pulls them out, licking them clean while I whimper. A breath hitches in my throat as he thrusts into me, he moves slowly for only a few seconds and then his pace becomes rapid. I pull out of the kiss to breathe as my hips start bucking and moving in tandem with him. The aching build to orgasm is becoming nearly painful, I bend my knees and grip his back digging my nails into him a bit. Drew lifts one of my legs over his shoulder, pushing him in even farther and I let out a long purring moan as I orgasm but we are far from done.

He slows down just a bit, turning me on my side with my leg still lifted. This is new and he's hitting all kinds of new places. I grip the bedspread and moan on a whimpering quivering breath. My whole body starts trembling and I don't know how long I can keep this up, I feel the need to orgasm again but I can feel Drew's body start to quiver just slightly, I tighten around him and feel him grow just a slightest bit. Both our body's go rigid and still for a few seconds and then we both move again, rapidly, and frantically to reach climatic orgasm. We both cry out in rapturous relief, Drew slows down and turns me to my back again, stealing a kiss before we both collapse. We lay together in a breathless naked pile for a few minutes, Drew is able to move first and he sits up to get my water bottle from the nightstand handing it to me. I take a few sips and then sit up looking around for my clothes.

"Don't get dressed again," Drew whines wrapping his arms around me and kissing my neck.

"I need to wear something," I laugh.

"Why no one will come down here and everyone will knock before coming in our bedroom," he argues.

I giggle and grab his football jersey from the closet putting that on. We finally do finish our homework; Drew actually stays naked the whole time and occasionally caresses my leg. It's a little after eleven by the time we actually get ready for bed. I get in bed first and Drew joins me when the light is off, still naked of course.

"So," I speak up rolling over to cuddle with him, "Bianca was asking if we're going to get married."

**Update next Tuesday probably starting at the victory dance.**


End file.
